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Monthly Archives: December 2011

Lessons I Learnt from my Life


I’ve been on this earth for nearly two and half decades. I haven’t celebrated any of my birthdays. There is nothing much to celebrate, but there is lot to feel bad because years are passing like seconds. I thought I’d share a handful of lessons I’ve learned as a helpful guide for those just starting out.

This post is for my next generations all over the world, whom I miss greatly.

The 26 Lessons I’ve learned in my 26 Years of Life’s Journey…

  1. Life is really valuable; make use of every moment learning new & useful things.
2. Possessions are worse than worthless — they’re harmful. They add no value to your life,
and cost you everything. Not just the money required buying them, but the time and money spent shopping for them, maintaining them, worrying about them, insuring them, fixing them, etc.

3. Goals aren’t as important as we think. Try working without them for a week. Turns out, you can do amazing things without goals. And you don’t have to manage them, cutting out on some of the bureaucracy of your life. You’re less stressed without goals, and you’re freer to choose paths you couldn’t have foreseen without them.

4. Always swallow your pride to say you’re sorry. Being too proud to apologize is never worth it -your relationship suffers for no good benefit.

5. Slow down. Rushing is rarely worth it. Life is better enjoyed at a leisurely pace.

6. Fear will try to stop you. Doubts will try to stop you. You’ll shy away from doing great things, from going on new adventures, from creating something new and putting it out in the world, because of self-doubt and fear. It will happen in the recesses of your mind, where you don’t even know it’s happening.

Become aware of these doubts and fears. Shine some light on them. Beat them with a thousand tiny cuts. Do it anyway, because they are wrong.

 7. When your beloved ones ask for your attention, always grant it. Give them your full attention, and instead of being annoyed at the interruption, be grateful for the reminder to spend time with someone you love.

8. Don’t go into debt. That includes credit card debt, student debt, home debt, personal loans, and auto loans. We think they’re necessary but they’re not, at all. They cause more headaches than they’re worth, they can ruin lives, and they cost us way more than we get. Spend less than you earn, go without until you have the money.

9. Life is exceedingly brief. You might feel like there’s a huge mass of time ahead of you, but it passes much faster than you think. Your kids grow up so fast you get whiplash.

You get gray hairs before you’re done getting your bearings on life. Appreciate every damn moment.

10. If you find yourself swimming with all the other fish, go the other way. They don’t know where they’re going either.

Be different to be Irreplaceable in the world.

11. Mistakes are the best way to learn. Don’t be afraid to make them. Try not to repeat the same ones too often.

12.Failures are the stepping stones to success. Without failure, we’ll never learn how to succeed. So try to fail, instead of trying to avoid failure through fear.

13. Rest is more important than you think. People work too hard, forgets to rest, and then begin to hate their jobs.

People who try to do too much because they don’t know that rest is where their body gets stronger, after the stress.

 14. There are few joys that equal a good book, a good walk, a good hug, good thoughts, good health, or a good friend. All are free.

15. The destination is just a tiny slice of the journey. We’re so worried about goals, about our future, that we miss all the great things along the way.

If you’re fixated on the goal, on the end, you won’t enjoy it when you get there. You’ll be worried about the next goal, the next destination.

16. A good walk cures most problems. Want to lose weight and get fit? Walk.

Want to enjoy life but spend less? Walk. Want to cure stress and clear your head? Walk.

Want to meditate and live in the moment? Walk. Having trouble with a life or work problem? Walk and your head get clear.

17. Giving is so much better than getting. Give with no expectation of getting something in return, and it becomes a purer, more beautiful act.

Too often we give something and expect to get an equal measure in return — at least get some gratitude or recognition for our efforts. Try to let go of that need, and just give.

18. Competition is very rarely as useful as cooperation. Our society is geared toward competition — rips each other’s throats out, survival of the fittest.

But humans are meant to work together for the survival of the tribe, and cooperation pools our resources and allows everyone to contribute what they can.

It requires a whole other set of people skills to work cooperatively, but its well worth the effort.

19. Gratitude is one of the best ways to find contentment. We are often discontent in our lives, desire more, because we don’t realize how much we have.

Instead of focusing on what you don’t have, be grateful for the amazing gifts you’ve been given: of loved ones and simple pleasures, of health and sight and the gift of music and books, of nature and beauty and the ability to create, and everything in between. Be grateful every day.

20. Compassion for other living things is more important than pleasure. Many people scoff at vegetarianism because they love the taste of meat and cheese too much, but they are putting the pleasure of their taste buds ahead of the suffering of other living, feeling beings.

You can be perfectly healthy on a vegetarian (even vegan) diet, so killing and torturing animals is absolutely unnecessary.

Compassion is a much more fulfilling way to live than closing your eyes to suffering.

21. Taste buds change. I thought I could never give up chicken, but by doing it slowly, I never missed it. I thought I could never give up junk food like sweets, fried crap all kinds of unhealthy things … and yet today I would rather eat some fresh berries or raw nuts. Weird, but it’s amazing how much our taste buds can change.

22. Love comes in many flavors. I love my parents; completely and more than I can ever fully understand. I love them each in a different way, and know that each is perfect in his or her own way.

23. Use the magic of compound interest. Invest early, and it will grow. Live on little, don’t get into debt, save all you can, and invest it in mutual funds. Watch your money grow.

24. All we are taught in schools, and all we see in the media (news, films, books, magazines, Internet) has a worldview that we’re meant to conform to.

Figure out what that worldview is, and question it. Ask if there are alternatives, and investigate.

25. Learn the art of empathy. Too often we judge people on too little information.

We must try to understand what they do instead, put ourselves in their shoes, and start with the assumption that what others do has a good reason if we understand what they’re going through. Life becomes much better if you learn this art.

26. Do less. Most people try to do too much. They fill life with checklists, and try to crank out tasks as if they were widget machines.

Throw out the checklists and just figure out what’s important. Stop being a machine and focus on what you love. Do it lovingly.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life,  in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2011 in Life & It's Importance

 

Managing Stress


 

 

In our Day- to-day life we,  many times hear about the word called “Stress”. What is Stress?

Stress is a feeling that’s created when we react to particular events. It’s the body’s way of rising to a challenge and preparing to meet a tough situation with focus, strength, stamina, and heightened alertness. We all have stress sometimes.

The events that provoke stress are called stressors, and they cover a whole range of situations — everything from outright physical danger to making a class presentation or taking a semester’s worth of your toughest subject. For some people, it happens before having to speak in public. For other people, it might be before a first date. What causes stress for you may not be stressful for someone else. Sometimes stress is helpful – it can encourage you to meet a deadline or get things done. But long-term stress can increase the risk of diseases like depression, heart disease and a variety of other problems.

I don’t believe that a stress-free life is possible. Stress is a response to challenges in life, and a life without challenges is too boring to contemplate. However, I do believe that most of the stress in our lives is unnecessary, and that it can be eliminated by taking some simple (and some not-so-simple) steps. It can’t be accomplished overnight — I’ve been eliminating stressors in my life for awhile now, and I’m still not done. But I think it’s a worthwhile goal.

But these sources of stress can be eliminated with a little thought. Here’s how:

Self Introspection is needed. It is nothing but the self-examination of one’s thoughts, feelings, approach etc. You can identify your strengths & weaknesses. Try to overcome your weakness or avoid such situations, because they are the main cause for stress.

 

Simplify life. Simplify your life i.e. Simplify your tasks, your routines, your commitments, your life-style, your information intake, your relationships, the mass of stuff going on in your life … and have less stress as a result. 

 

Identify stressors. It is the most important step of all. Take 10 minutes to think about what stress you out during the day. What weekly occurrences stress you out? What people, activities, things cause stress in your life? Make a Top 10 list, and see which of them can be eliminated, and start to weed them out.

 

Slow down. Life is not a race, to compete with others. Instead of rushing through life, learn to take things slow . Enjoy each & every part of your life. Enjoy your work, your food, enjoy the people around you, and enjoy nature. This step alone can save tons of stress.

 

Be grateful. Life is a Valuable gift. Learn to be grateful for what you have, for the people in your life. With this sort of outlook on life, stress will go down and happiness will go up. Develop an attitude of gratitude is a way of thinking positive, eliminating negative thinking from your life, and thereby reducing stress. That’s a winning formula.

Procrastination. We have lot of time to work on our tasks. Don’t postpone the things & doesn’t allow stuff to pile up will stress us out. Find ways to take care of stuff now and keep your inbox and desk clear.

Multitasking. Multitasking is a good idea, it might seem productive, but in actuality it slows us down from actually focusing on a task and completing it — and it stresses us out in the meantime. Learn to do single task.

Avoid doing Unnecessary Tasks. It’s good to avoid unnecessary tasks from doing. They will definitely stress you out. Learn to simplify the tasks to few essential things, and you will enjoy the process much more.

Eliminate energy drains. Certain things in our life just cause us to be more exhausted than others, with less value. Identify them, and cut them out. You’ll have much more energy and much less stress. Happiness ensues.

Avoid difficult people. Difficult people are from nowhere, they are among us. You know who they are? If you take a minute to think about it, you can identify all the people in your life — bosses, coworkers, customers, friends, family, etc. — who make your life more difficult. Just cut them out of your life.

 

Avoid being Late. Being late always stresses us out. Learn the habit of being early, and this stress disappears. Make a conscious effort to start getting ready earlier, and to leave earlier. This also makes driving less stressful. Time yourself to see how long it actually takes to get ready, or to do any task and from next time plan accordingly.

 

Don’t be Workaholic. Workholism is not strength, but it’s a weakness which ruins our life.Once you leave your office, leave everything there itself. Spend some time with your loved ones. One should know how to balance the Professional & Personal life.

Learn to let go. Learn to let go, and accept the way that other people do things, and accept what happens in different situations. The only things you can control is yourself — work on that before you consider trying to control the world. Also learn to separate yourself from tasks and to delegate them. Learning to let go of our need to control others and the situations around us is a major step towards eliminating stress.

Eat healthy. This goes hand-in-hand with exercise as a stress prevention method, of course. Become healthier and a major source of stress will disappear.

 

Take mini-breaks during work. It’s important to take mini-breaks during your work day. Stop what you’re doing, massage your shoulders and neck and head and hands and arms, get up and stretch, walk around, drink some water. Go outside and appreciate the fresh air and the beautiful sky. Talk to someone you like. Life doesn’t have to be all about productivity. You should also avoid using online activity too much as your de-stressing activity — get away from the computer to relax.

 

Exercise. This is common advice for stress relief, and that’s because it works … but it’s also a stress prevention method. Exercising helps relieve the stress buildup, it gives you some quiet time to contemplate and relax, and just as importantly, it makes you more fit. A fitter person is better equipped to handle stress. Another important factor: being unhealthy can be a major stressor (especially once you have to go to the hospital), and exercise can help prevent that.

By careful editing of your life, and changing certain habits, you may eliminate which are important, necessary & good to you.

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on December 15, 2011 in Work Place

 
 
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