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A daughter may outgrow your lap, but not your heart


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

I am a KING, not because i have a kingdom, but as I have a Daughter who is PRINCESS of my World. Of all the titles I’ve been privileged to have, ‘Dad’ has always been the best.

From my childhood I spent most of my life in the arms of many wonderful women, but for first time, I hold a little angel (ShanvikaPr@win) close to my HEART and she proudly calls me Prawin. When she says ‘Daddy I need you!’ I wonder if she has any idea that I need her billion times more. Having a daughter makes me see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don’t care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don’t mind.

Shanvika, hours I spend with you in a day may be limited, but my thoughts for PicsArt_08-18-05.35.48you are  unlimited and my love is unconditional. You make me very proud to be your Father. I know that our relationship is not completely perfect, but I love that it’s strong and real. I love you, sweetheart. With every day that passes, you only grow more beautiful in my eyes. I admire your heart of gold. I love you very much! I Adore your Smile, I Cherish your Hugs, I Admire your Heart, But Most of All I Love that you are My Daughter. Never forget that I Love you till my last breath. Life is filled with hard times and good times. Learn from everything you can. Be the woman I know you can be.

The bond a father and daughter share is special and irreplaceable. To every father, his Daughter is a gift from heaven who is like sunshine to a day. She fills fathers heart with pleasure, a joy to always treasure! Not only does a girl’s relationship with her father shape her childhood experience, but it will also influence how she interacts with men in her adult years. If a father is absent or erratic in his behavior, this sets his daughter up for feelings of low self-esteem and trouble with trusting men in general. All parents should appreciate the importance of understanding the father’s role in his daughter’s life, as his presence (or absence) will play a role in her self-image and well-being for decades to come. Daughters can bring so much meaning to your life and make you the happiest you have ever been. Below are some of the traits every father should possess.

Teach your Daughter That She Is Worthy of a Respectful Partner: A father who treats his daughter – and his daughter’s mother – with respect is sending a clear message that women deserve good treatment from the men in their lives. This can make all the difference when his daughter begins dating. If she is used to positive support and kind behavior, she is less likely to tolerate it from abusive dates and partners.

IMG_20190818_182623Make Time for your Daughter, No Matter How Busy you are: One of the most important things a father can do is simply show that he is willing to be around. He should make the effort to attend special events at his daughter’s school, engage her in conversation, and take an interest in all areas of her life. This will build her self-esteem and let her know that she is a worthwhile individual.

Remind Your Daughter That She Is Beautiful Inside and Out: There is nothing wrong with telling your daughter that she is pretty, but remember to tell her how much you value her intellectual abilities and character. This will prevent her from relying on her looks to carry her through life and from placing too much value on what others think of her face and body.

Inspire your Daughter to Reach Her Goals: A father should encourage his daughter to follow her dreams and show her that he believes she has what it takes to succeed. Girls habitually look to both parents for guidance and support, so fathers must make the effort to inspire their daughters whenever possible

Enjoy Activities Together: Healthy activities such as walking, biking and swimming are a great way of building memories and teaching your daughter that exercise is an important habit. Keeping fit will help her maintain a good body image, which will be a real asset as she develops into a teenager.

Be Consistently Loving but Firm : Daughters who do not receive affection and approval from their fathers are likely to seek it elsewhere as teenagers and adults, and this may lead to an unhealthy dependency on men. Fathers can prevent this happening by telling their daughters how special and loved they are, whilst maintaining appropriate levels of discipline and upholding firm boundaries.

Always Treat your wife Well, Even If you Are Not Together: If a daughter witnesses her father treating her mother poorly, she will receive negative or mixed messages about how men and women relate to one another. Even if you are not with her mother, always take the high road and act in a civil manner.

Take your daughter on Special Trips and Outings: Let your daughter feel special by  IMG_20190818_182553making the time to take her out on a regular basis. A simple trip to the park with a picnic is enough to show her that you care enough to make her a priority. Take the opportunity to show her how men should treat women – with respect and dignity. Engage her in conversation and talk to her as an equal.

Model a Respectful Attitude Towards Women : A good father does not make sexist jokes or speak disrespectfully about women. He has the intelligence to realize that his daughter’s self-image will suffer if he does so, and knows that it is important to uphold the idea that women are of equal value to men

Know When to Ask for Forgiveness: No father can be perfect all the time. When you mess up, explain how you plan to do better next time and tell her that you are sorry. For example, if you accidentally miss her piano recital, plan an outing to make it up to her. Ask for her forgiveness and learn from your mistakes.

I request every father, kindly treat you Daughter the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.

Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person. In my career, there’s many things I’ve won and many things I’ve achieved, but for me, my greatest achievement is my children and my family. It’s about being a good father, good Son, a good grandson, a good husband, a good brother, good friend, a good colleague and a good fellow human just being connected to every of my well-wishers  as much as possible.

Today is my little angel ShanvikaPr@win birthday. Kindly bless her and wish her to have a wonderful life. 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

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Do we Really have Freedom in India?


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Bleeding Indian….

India celebrates its 73rd year of Independence from the British Rule today, and the entire nation is basking in a patriotic glory. It’s a day to cherish, celebrate and remember the great sacrifices made by the freedom fighters to give us a free country.

Are we really free and independent? Every day, we hear about pronounced issues in our system and society such as poverty, unemployment, terrorism, the crime against women, corruption – which are not exclusive to our country. The whole world is suffering from these at different levels. My mind hovers around other subtle yet critical issues that our society is suffering from and in a way society itself is responsible for this situation. We call ourselves a free nation, but do not have the freedom to choose what we eat, what we wear or even whom we love. 15 August Independence day of India_14214

Independence Day doesn’t mean one day of nationalist pride, it means a commitment to serve the nation in a truly inclusive way. We salute the brave hearts and heroes who fought in the freedom struggle but they dreamt of a nation of peace and harmony where people prospered. Until unless we eradicate these social evils, intolerance and learn to accept differences and celebrate them, the people in the country can’t prosper.

India is the largest democracy in the world. The Constitution of India gives its citizens six rights known as the Fundamental Rights. We have the:

– RIGHT TO FREEDOM
– RIGHT TO EDUCATION AND CULTURE
– RIGHT AGAINST EXPLOITATION
– RIGHT TO EQUALITY
– RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF RELIGION
– RIGHT TO CONSTITUTIONAL REMEDIES.

The above rights are in our Constitution but not in reality. Even after 73 years of Independence, if we look at life of a common man in INDIA, he is leading a painful poisoned life .Most people in India are simultaneously prisoners and prison guards in the cages within cages of family, job and society. They spend their entire lives in these cages doing exactly what they are told to do. From birth to death their lives are regulated and decided for them by others. They usually cannot take even one day off in a year to do only what they please. They are conditioned to eat, drink, dress and behaquotescover-JPG-321ve in prescribed ways. Conformity in everything is the sum and substance of their identities. Their freedom is the freedom of the reflex action; it is the freedom of the knee to jerk. This is not freedom.

I hope that someday, I will see those kids in schools unfurling the National Flag in their schools and not selling them on traffic signals which would be trampled upon by cars the next day. It is our duty to make the dream of a progressive nation with all citizens having equal rights to live with dignity come true.

Having said all that, we still have a reason to celebrate today. Let’s enjoy our freedom, for whatever it means to the people today!

I wish that this year, we as Indians get real Independence from all the evil forces and practices that are present in Indian society.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2019 in Experiences of Life.

 

Scrum Vs Kanban


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by AXA XL Team…

Which framework works best: Kanban or Scrum? If you are on the verge of a brand new project, I bet this question has posed quite the challenge to your mind. Today Kanban and Scrum have grown in popularity and have taken the place of the previously popular waterfall method.

Agile –  Agile software development is based on an incremental, iterative approach. Instead of in-depth planning at the beginning of the project, Agile methodologies are open to changing requirements over time and encourages constant feedback from the end users. Cross-functional teams work on iterations of a product over a period of time, and this work is organized into a backlog that is prioritized based on business or customer value. The goal of each iteration is to produce a working product.

Scrum – The approach followed here is breaking down a complex task into simpler smaller manageable pieces which are easy to collaborate upon by the respective owners of the scrum.

Kanban – It is a Continuous improvement, flexible process. Kanban helps visualize your work, limit work-in-progress(WIP) and quickly move work from “Doing” to “Done.” It is a framework which utilizes visualization technique, limiting the number of tasks to be taken in “Work in Progress” column.

Scrum Vs Kanban

Kanban and Scrum are both iterative Agile development models, the goal is to get the most important tasks fully done (including testing) as soon as possible. The product should be potentially shippable at the end of the iteration. The difference is with Scrum the end is a set date, with Kanban it could be anytime the features that need releasing are done. In Scrum you plan a fixed period of time and with Kanban you plan just in time.

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Roles –

  • Scrum is dependent on the scrum owners and is worked upon by them respectively. Scrum has three clearly defined roles.
    1. The product owner advocates for the customer, manages the product backlog, and helps prioritize the work done by the development team.
    2. The scrum master helps the team stay grounded in the scrum principles.
    3. The scrum team chooses the work to be done, delivers increments, and demonstrates collective accountability
  • Kanban is independent of cross-functional team members and parallel roles. The whole team owns the kanban board. Some teams enlist an agile coach but, unlike scrum, there is no single “kanban master” who keeps everything running smoothly. It’s the collective responsibility of the entire team to collaborate on and deliver the tasks on the board.

Release cycle –

  • Scrum makes use of sprints whose duration varies from one week to two weeks. The user stories are then taken up for development, testing and bug fixes. Nowadays, it’s common to have ad-hoc releases in scrum, but it’s long been a best practice to release at the end of each sprint. Teams set an objective for each sprint, the sprint goal, and either approves it for release in the sprint review meeting, or don’t
  • Kanban does not follow any cycle and the process is continuous in nature. In kanban, updates are released whenever they are ready, without a regular schedule or predetermined due dates. In theory, kanban does not prescribe a fixed time to deliver a task. If the task gets completed earlier (or later), it can be released as needed without having to wait for a release milestone like sprint review.

Tracking parameters –

  • Scrum makes use of velocity in planning upcoming sprints taking into account the complexity and number of user stories completed in the previous sprint.
  • Kanban ensures limiting of user stories in “Work in Progress” column to avoid bottlenecks. It tracks the time taken to finish a task from the starting to the end.

The scope of improvement –

  • Scrum does not encourage changes in ongoing sprints.
  • Kanban is open to any changes before the completion of the project. It is flexible in nature.

Fit factor –

  • Scrum is suitable for projects with clearly defined user stories. Acknowledgement on the same by the client for timely completion of the project makes it a fit.
  • Kanban being flexible in nature allows variations in priorities on the basis of the current scenario.

Pick process –

  • Scrum picks the entire batch of user stories from the product backlog for development.
  • Kanban follows the maximum number of tasks allowed in the columns to maintain the sanity of the framework and to avoid bottlenecks.

Delivery –

  • Scrum follows delivery based on sprint planning and prioritize based on the specifications given by the client.
  • Kanban follows the continuous delivery model based on business needs.

Key metrics

  • Scrum – Velocity i.e. the number of story points completed in a sprint—is the central metric for scrum teams. It guides future sprint commitments, or how much work the scrum team takes on in future sprints. If the team completes an average of 35 story points per sprint (Velocity = 35), it won’t agree to a sprint backlog that contains 45 points.
  • Kanban – Lead time and cycle time are important metrics for kanban teams. The deal with the average amount of time that it takes for a task to move from start to finish. Improving cycle times indicates the success of kanban teams.

The above points are easy to remember if you are able to visualize working on them. Ideally where the scrum follows a rather predefined set of principles. Kanban is backed up by the principle of flexibility. It allows you to track tasks that are of utmost importance for delivery.

What Is Kanban? ks3

In order to simplify the manufacturing process and increase efficiency, in the 1940s Toyota implemented just-in-time manufacturing—effectively, making only what is needed, only when it is needed, and only in the amount that is needed.

Kanban is great for teams that have lots of incoming requests that vary in priority and size. Whereas scrum processes require high control over what is in scope, kanban let’s you go with the flow. Let’s take a look at the same five considerations to help you decide. What makes Kanban interesting is this aspect of it – that you could be continuously developing, integrating, testing and releasing at a cadence that you feel comfortable with – and so the whole concept of Continuous Delivery becomes much more ‘natural’ with Kanban.

How Does Kanban Work?

The only essential materials for kanban are a marker, sticky notes, and a board. Create “cards” from the sticky notes representing work items that have to go through several phases, from start to finish. Then draw columns on the board for each phase the cards need to go through, with a number at the top of each column that indicates the maximum number of cards (i.e., work in progress) that can be in that phase at a time. This number probably will and should change as your team improves its ability to gauge and reduce bottlenecks. The columns could simply be labeled “to do,” “doing,” “waiting,” and “done,” or they can be more process-specific, such as in the examples below.

Another helpful thing many teams do is dividing the columns in two, with one lane for “doing” and one for “done,” as you can see in the software development kanban example above. This way, it is clear to whoever is in charge of the following column to know when they can pull another card and begin working on it.

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The beauty of this system is that it helps you detect where bottlenecks are. The work-in-progress limit stimulates conversations about process problems. In the examples above, you can see some columns are at capacity and some are not, but none has more cards than prescribed.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2019 in Technical

 

Root Cause Analysis


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by Karthik.

RCA (Root cause analysis) is a mechanism of analyzing the Incidents/defects, to identify its cause. We brainstorm, read and dig the Incidents/defect to identify whether the defect was due to “testing miss”, “development miss” or was a “requirement or designs miss”. RCA is simply about determining, very specifically, the when, the where, and the why of a problem at its source, before it can ripple out to affect the end-user of an application or website a second time.

Doing the RCA accurately helps to prevent defects in the later releases or phases. If we find, that a defect was due to design miss, we can review the design documents and can take appropriate measures. Similarly, if we find that a defect was due to testing miss, we can review our test cases or metrics, and update it accordingly.

Root Cause Analysis is like a chain of events which go backward, right from the last possible action to the previous and so on, till you reach the start of the problem and the exact point at which it was introduced as a defect. This is called as reverse engineering. There are a few two major questions that we need to ask – WHAT, WHY, WHEN, HOW. With the assistance of these questions, we can dig into each phase of the software life cycle to exactly track the origin of the defect and the point at which it was injected into the system.

Root-Cause-Analysis-Process

Goals: The primary goal of using RCA is to analyze problems or events to identify:

  • What happened
  • How it happened
  • Why it happened…so that
  • Actions for preventing reoccurrence are developed

Benefits: Implementing RCA will help the agency:

  • Identify barriers and the causes of problems, so that permanent solutions can be found.
  • Develop a logical approach to problem-solving, using data that already exists in the agency.
  • Identify current and future needs for organizational improvement.
  • Establish repeatable, step-by-step processes, in which one process can confirm the results of another.

Principles

  • Focusing on corrective measures of root causes is more effective than simply treating the symptoms of a problem or event.
  • RCA is performed most effectively when accomplished through a systematic process with conclusions backed up by evidence.
  • There is usually more than one root cause for a problem or event.
  • The focus of investigation and analysis through problem identification is WHY the event occurred, and not who made the error.

Roots: Root cause analysis is not a one-size-fits-all methodology. There are many different tools, processes, and philosophies of accomplishing RCA. In fact, it was born out of a need to analyze various enterprise activities such as:

  • Accident analysis and occupational safety and health
  • Quality control
  • Efficient business process
  • Engineering and maintenance failure analysis
  • Various systems-based processes, including change management and risk management

Applying RCA: Examples of events where RCA is used to solve problems and provide preventive actions include:

  • Major accidents
  • Everyday incidents
  • Minor near-misses
  • Human errors
  • Maintenance problems
  • Medical mistakes
  • Productivity issues
  • Manufacturing mistakes
  • Environmental releases
  • Risk analysis, risk mapping

Basic method to use

  • Define the problem.
  • Gather information, data and evidence.
  • Identify all issues and events that contributed to the problem.
  • Determine root causes.
  • Identify recommendations for eliminating or mitigating the reoccurrence of problems or events.
  • Implement the identified solutions.

RCA methods

The nature of RCA is to identify all and multiple contributing factors to a problem or event. This is most effectively accomplished through an analysis method. Some methods used in RCA include:

  • The “5-Whys” Analysis” — A simple problem-solving technique that helps users get to the root of the problem quickly. It was made popular in the 1970’s by the Toyota Production System. This strategy involves looking at a problem and asking “why” and “what caused this problem”. Often the answer to the first “why” prompts a second “why” and so on—providing the basis for the “5-why” analysis.
  • Barrier Analysis — Investigation or design method that involves the tracing of pathways by which a target is adversely affected by a hazard, including the identification of any failed or missing countermeasures that could or should have prevented the undesired effect(s).
  • Change Analysis — Looks systematically for possible risk impacts and appropriate risk management strategies in situations where change is occurring. This includes situations in which system configurations are changed, operating practices or policies are revised, new or different activities will be performed, etc.
  • Causal Factor Tree Analysis — An investigation and analysis technique used to record and display, in a logical, tree-structured hierarchy, all the actions and conditions that were necessary and sufficient for a given consequence to have occurred.
  • Failure Mode and Effects Analysis — A “system engineering” process that examines failures in products or processes.
  • Fish-Bone Diagram or Ishikawa Diagram — Derived from the quality management process, it’s an analysis tool that provides a systematic way of looking at effects and the causes that create or contribute to those effects. Because of the function of the fishbone diagram, it may be referred to as a cause-and-effect diagram. The design of the diagram looks much like the skeleton of a fish—hence the designation “fishbone” diagram.
  • Pareto Analysis — A statistical technique in decision making that is used for analysis of selected and a limited number of tasks that produce significant overall effect. The premise is that 80% of problems are produced by a few critical causes (20%).
  • Fault Tree Analysis — The event is placed at the root (top event) of a “tree of logic”. Each situation causing effect is added to the tree as a series of logic expressions.

Based on the results of RCA, you can determine which of the phase has problem areas. For example, if you determine most of the RCA of the defects are due to requirement miss, then you can improve the requirement gathering / understanding phase by introducing more reviews or walk-through sessions.

Similarly, if you find that mostly defects are due to testing miss, you need to improve the testing process. You can introduce metrics like requirement tractability metrics, test coverage metrics or can keep a check on the review process or any other step which you feel would improve the efficiency of the testing. It is the responsibility of the entire team to sit and analyze the defects, and contribute to the product and process improvement.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on November 29, 2018 in Technical

 

This Is When You’re Gonna Miss Her Most


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Heart filled with Love..

I never knew, i love her so much, till I met and lost lost her in the journey of my life.

She’s not the type of person you miss when she leaves. In fact, you might not even notice she’s gone initially… because well you thought she’d always be there. She’ll casually go without a goodbye or some grand exit because it was hard for her to give up on you. It was hard for her to walk away and not look back. It was hard for her to accept no matter how hard she tried, you never were going to reciprocate was she both wanted and deserved.

She was around and gave you so much attention so often you took her for granted. You’re still going to think she’s someone you can pick and choose when you want to. What you don’t realize is she made the choice to walk away already. And it broke her heart to do so. But she had to because you left her with no other choice. If you weren’t going to appreciate her presence she’d make you realize what you lost in her absence.

Missing her… It’s going to happen when you least expect it. You’ll see her somewhere and she might not even notice you at first. She’ll be so consumed by the attention of someone else. You’ll look at this person who is making her smile so big and that’s when it’s going to hit how pretty she is when she’s happy. But you never saw that side of her because all you did was disappoint her and let her down and bring out the worst of her.

You never saw how torn up she was about every little thing. But she lost sleep over you. You spent too much time talking about you. Too much time emotionally invested. And when you’re emotionally invested in someone you don’t see how bad they are for you sometimes. 270f02c9985b5d6bcd64c03b3ecfa9c9

Maybe someone will mention her in conversation and ask you how she’s doing because there was a time you knew. There was a time you were very much a part of her life and so involved you could answer on her behalf because you knew about every good day and bad one.

You’ll freeze for a moment and you’ll answer good but the truth is you’re finding out about her life the way everyone else is. Through social media. Instagram posts. FB updates. Snap stories. And you aren’t hearing from her firsthand like you used to.

It’s going to hurt a bit once you realize that.

You’ll go to text her and you’ll realize you don’t even know how to say hello.

You’ll realize there are so many things you want to tell her. And you think back to a time when every conversation she made about you. Even when you ignored her she’d send a double text continuing to try and keep the conversation going. You’ll stare at her name in your phone, looking back at the date of the last time you spoke and you’ll realize how long it’s been. But what’s going to hurt more is that it took you this long to realize she was already gone.

What’s going to hurt is the moment you realize you did nothing to make her want to stay.

You’ll miss the little details of her life even the things she used to complain about.

You’ll miss even the things that used to annoy you about her. How long her texts were, how she’d answer in less than 5 seconds making it so easy. How predictable she was and how you thought she’d always be there. Because no matter what you did or how you treated her it never altered the way she treated you.

You’ll miss having someone who genuinely cared about you. Someone who took time out of their day to ask how you were and wait for an answer. Someone who went out of their way and always made sure they were there. Someone who took the time to learn and understand you. Someone who wanted to know about your past to understand why you were the way you were. Someone who would have gone to the ends of the earth to make you happy and never stopped praising you or building you up even if you were knocking her down.

You’ll miss her late at night when you’re laying there alone and you realize there’s no one to talk to. And it’s not just her you miss it’s the conversations you used to have, how she’d get you to a place no one else could. How she’d get you thinking about things caring about things, believing in things even if it was you yourself. After talking to her she thought you could do anything because that’s how much she believed in you.

You’ll find yourself driving and a song will start playing and you’ll freeze for a moment thinking of her. It’s one of the songs she made you listen to and it’s only now you realize why. It was just another clever way of her saying she cared without spelling it out. You’ll drive past a place and it’s her ghost you’ll see there as flashbacks run through your mind of when you were there together and things were so different.

You’ll think back to a time when you knew she cared even when you didn’t. Moments where she poured her heart out to you and all you did was listen.

And you’ll hate yourself for realizing it too late that you really do care. Maybe you always have. And you probably always will care a little bit. That’s the thing about girls like her, they come into your life just long enough to leave a lasting impression before they take off again. Forever leaving a little bit of an imprint on your heart. She’ll leave and you won’t even be able to be angry at her for it. You’re more so angry at yourself for not realizing what you had when you had it.

You’ll again and she’ll smile and hug you and ask how you are because she doesn’t hold it against you for not caring. But what she doesn’t realize is how you do care. But you let her go on her way not saying anything because even you know, she deserves better and it wasn’t supposed to end this way.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

You lost her a little more every time


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Heart filled with Love..

It’s the texts you answer at your convenience. It’s the snaps you look at then put down your phone.

It’s every like when you’re bored because you’re wondering what she’s up to. It’s every canceled plan when something better comes along.

It’s the attention you give that’s the bare minimum. But she takes it. Because at least for that moment, she has your time and attention when she’s always given you all of hers.

It’s every surprise you take for granted. Even though, she thought a lot about it for a while. It’s not caring enough to even consider reciprocating those things.

It’s the favor if you need one, that always goes answered every time. Even though she’d never ask the same. x51k5655.jpg

It’s the nights she wishes would turn into the morning but you have some sort of other agenda, as you say goodbye.

You label her as easy to read. Because the truth is you know if you want her you can have her. And where is the fun in that?

Where is the fun in someone only caring about you?  Where is the fun in honesty? Where is the fun in love when everyone is chasing after questionable likes?

But the truth is you’re losing her and not even realizing it.

You lose her a little more every time you don’t answer.

You lose her a little more every time you cancel plans.

You lose her a little more every time you choose someone else when the only person she’s ever chosen is you.

You lose her a little more every time you don’t appreciate her.

You lose her a little more every time you take her for granted.

You lose her a little more every time she goes to bed wondering, ‘why aren’t I enough for him?’

But what she doesn’t realize, as these feelings she has for you, blinds her of the truth. She’s more than enough for you. It’s you that isn’t good enough for her.

Because if you were worthy of her, you’d realize her value.

But one day you’ll lose her for good. Because she’s going to get to a point where there’s nothing more she has to offer and she’ll walk away. And it’ll hurt her to do so. Because she looked at you with wide eyes full of faith that depleted over time.

One day she’ll be the one not answering. One day those snaps you send will be ignored and you’ll send another just in case.

It’ll irk the shit out of you, the moment she starts treating you the way you treated her.

You’ll ask her out and she’ll politely decline. You’ll blow up her newsfeed and begin to become more interested in what she is up to but more than that who she’s with.

Because it’s not you that’s making her smile anymore.

You’ll miss the nights when she laid beside you and all she ever wanted to do was talk. The silence will kill you, as you wish for just one more conversation.

You’ll hold onto everything she ever got you and it’ll be a hurtful reminder of the girl who loved you just a little too much.

And maybe you’ll look back and remember there wasn’t mystery to her. But there was an honesty you’ve never known in someone.

She didn’t play games like the others. She’s the type of girl that ruins people in the best way and you’ve become just another victim.

And as you fumble through girl after girl, you’ll find something in them all missing. It’ll be in them you look for her but she will never be found.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

That’s why she’s a slut


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by  Laura Jane Williams..

She’s missing something, and needs you to fill the hole. Literally. Come inside her and stem the flow, patch up the wound with your own body because she cannot do it alone. When he left he took something from her, but she doesn’t know – can’t figure out – what, exactly, it is. So she’ll try anything. She’ll do anything to see what works. She just needs to not feel quite so much.

She’s a slut because it helps. It’s less about the act of fucking you, and more about what it does to her ego to get there. That she can control you. She had no control over him – the way he cried when he said goodbye but said goodbye all the same. She had no control when she got the call about his new girlfriend, second-hand information that made her wonder how long, exactly, it had really been going on. o-SLUT-570

She needed him to be a faithful man so that she could believe faithful men exist, and now they don’t anyone is up for grabs. It is balm for the ego, locking eyes across the bar. Salve for the dented spirit when she approaches. Men love the thrill of the chase, and she loves knowing that she can screw any man she wants if only she’s brave enough to ask. She just needs to make it their idea. She’s in the driving seat of saying just the right amount of provocative. Master of making his pupils dilate in thrilled shock. Will say the unsayable as code for what else she’ll do, too.

She’s not a bad person. She’s not a Madonna, nor is she a total whore. She has friends, and a job, and is liked and respected and popular enough. She commands attention because she’s so in control, so measured, so aware of the cracks she’ll let other people see. Most will be fooled by it. Most will marvel at her confidence and her “go for it” attitude. Concede that she must really have her shit together. But then there will be one or two who linger behind, say less, hold something back because they see it. They see that she’s playing make believe and doesn’t even recognize it herself. They don’t trust it, and they shouldn’t.

She’ll fuck you, and you, and you – one after the other, filling up and filling up but never being filled for long enough. She’ll begin to pride herself on not being like the other girls. Of keeping you at a distance. Ignoring you once you’ve peeled off the condom and flung it in the trash. Because she will always make you wear a condom. She can’t love herself so she sure as hell couldn’t love your child.

She’s a slut because none of you are the answer. As she holds your gaze longer than strictly necessary, rests her hand on your knee a little too high to be friendly, there will be a question in her eyes and in her heart and the moment you lean in to kiss her –tough, and fast, always too fast to mean anything – the tiny speckle of hope that she almost had will be quashed. She’ll just get on with it.

She’ll be wet for you. Turned on as all hell. You might even make her come. But it won’t be from being inside her. It won’t be where she can see you. You’ll slip your hand into her knickers from behind or go down on her in the dark. From there, you could be anybody. Nobody. Him.

She’ll treat you like utter shit and it will make you want more, because the ones who don’t care can be the most attractive when we’re playing the “who is more broken?” game. But you won’t value her. She gave it away too easily, you used each other in a way that can’t be undone. She’ll note your attitude, the way you keep your texts explicit and void of emotion, following her lead, as evidence that all men are the same.

Sexual predators. Easily led. Emotionally stunted.

She won’t feel bad about moving on to the next, because it didn’t mean anything anyway.

That’s why she’s a slut.

Because nobody can disprove her theory. Nobody is saving her from herself. She doesn’t know, yet, that she needs to save herself.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2018 in Technical

 
 
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