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Monthly Archives: December 2012

Way of the Peaceful Parent


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me…….

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The article was by Father of beautiful angel…

Peace isn’t a place with no stress, but a place where you take the stress as it comes, in stride, and don’t let it rule you. You let it flow through you, and then smile, and breathe, and give your child a hug.

Parents will always have stress: we not only have to deal with tantrums and scraped knees and refusing to eat anything you cook, but we worry about potential accidents, whether we are ruining our kids, whether our children will find happiness as adults and be able to provide for themselves and find love.

I’ve learned that we can find peace.

There is a Way of the Peaceful Parent, but it isn’t one that I’ve learned completely. I’ll share what I’ve learned so far, with the caveat that I don’t always follow the Way, that I still make mistakes daily, that I still have a lot to learn, that I don’t claim to have all the answers as a parent.

The Way

The Way is only learned by walking it. Here are the steps I recommend:

  • Greet your child each morning with a smile, a hug, a loving Good Morning! This is how we would all like to be greeted each day.
  • Teach your child to make her own breakfast. This starts for most children at around the age of 3 or 4. Teach them progressively to brush their teeth, bathe themselves, clean up their rooms, put away clothes, wash their dishes, make lunch, wash their own clothes, sweep and clean, etc.
  • Teaching these skills takes patience. Kids suck at them at first, so you have to show them about a hundred times, but let them try it, correct them, and let them make mistakes. They will gradually learn independence as you will gradually have less work to do caring for them.
  • Older children can help younger children — it’s good for them to learn responsibility, it helps the younger children learn from the older ones, and it takes some of the stress off you.
  • Read to them often. It’s a wonderful way to bond, to educate, to explore imaginary worlds.imagesqq
  • Build forts with them. Play hide and seek. Shoot each other with Nerf dart guns. Have tea together. Squeeze lemons and make lemonade. Play, often, as play is the essence of childhood. Don’t try to force them to stop playing.
  • When your child asks for your attention, grant it.
  • Parents need alone time, though. Set certain traditions so that you’ll have time to work on your own, or have mommy and daddy time in the evening, when your child can do things on her own.
  • When your child is upset, put yourself in his shoes. Don’t just judge the behavior (yes, crying and screaming isn’t ideal), but the needs behind the behavior. Does he need a hug, or attention, or maybe he’s just tired?
  • Model the behavior you want your child to learn. Don’t yell at the child because he was screaming. Don’t get angry at a child for losing his temper. Don’t get mad at a kid who wants to play video games all the time if you’re always on your laptop. Be calm, smile, be kind, go outdoors and be active.
  • When a stressful time arises (and it will), learn to deal with it with a smile. Make a joke, turn it into a game, laugh … you’ll teach your child not to take things so seriously, and that life is to be enjoyed. Breathe, walk away if you’ve lost your temper, and come back when you can smile.
  • Remember that your child is a gift. She won’t be a child for long, and so your time with her is fleeting. Every moment you can spend with her is a miracle, and you should savor it. Enjoy it to the fullest, and be grateful for that moment.
  • Let your child share your interests. Bake cookies together. Sew together. Exercise together. Read together. Work on a website together. Write a blog together.
  • Know that when you screw up as a parent, everything will be fine. Forgive yourself. Apologize. Learn from that screw up. In other words, model the behavior you’d like your child to learn whenever he screws up.
  • Patiently teach your child the boundaries of behavior. There should be boundaries — what’s acceptable and what’s not. It’s not OK to do things that might harm yourself or others. We should treat each other with kindness and respect. Those aren’t things the child learns immediately, so have patience, but set the boundaries. Within those boundaries, allow lots of freedom.
  • Give your child some space. Parents too often over-schedule their child’s life, with classes and sports and play dates and music and clubs and the like, but it’s a constant source of stress for both child and parent to keep this schedule going. Let the child go outside and play. Free time is necessary. You don’t always have to be by her side either — she needs alone time just as much as you do.
  • Exercise to cope with stress. A run in solitude is a lovely thing. Get a massage now and then.
  • It helps tremendously to be a parenting team — one parent can take over when the other gets stressed. When one parent starts to lose his temper, the other should be a calming force.
  • Sing and dance together.
  • Take every opportunity to teach kindness and love. It’s the best lesson.
  • Kiss your child goodnight. And give thanks for another amazing day with your beautiful, unique, crazy child.

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‘You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise children? Those who’ve never had any.’

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced , you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on December 29, 2012 in Family & Relationship

 

Man who Programmed his LIFE


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

From students of PSNA college..

Prawin, the day I met you during a training program in my college, my first impression is you are so handsome with unique dressing, silver rings, bracelets and earring. You are first crush in my life and to many others in PSNA college 2011 BE batch. When you started the training program, you looked like an Idiot who is speaking so arrogant and have no respect towards girls. By the end of 3 day training event, you looked something special to me and many of my friends. As it is a college with many students who girls,  many of my friends started to admire you for your looks, your attitude, your teaching skills and love you poured on us. After journey with you and by seeing and listening to people about you, I understood I am totally wrong for taking u wrong on day 1. From then, every-time I used to get surprised with your lectures, articles and with your Gutso nature. You are unique in way you speak, behave, give lectures, work, treat others, learn, eat, live your life… I mean  WhatsApp Image 2019-11-17 at 8.05.26 PMeverything grabbed the attention of people around you. People like you are actually a very rare gem. You might not actually have a bad personality, but it can be so intense that other people often feel the need to give you a wide berth. That doesn’t necessarily mean you should change who you are. You just need to understand that people will often misunderstand you.It could be the energy around you, it could also be a peculiar personality trait that rubs people the wrong way.

Out of my curiosity of attraction or love, I did lot of analysis and found some interesting and hidden points about your personality. For those who possess a deeper personality, you may actually be scaring people off just by being yourself! You are like a Humanoid/ a programmed human. 

Prawin, You possess a deep personality, you are like a diamond in the rough – the honest, reliable, forward-thinking type of person that makes this world a better place. However, not everyone is going to understand how your mind works. There are many people out there who are willing to settle for far less, and your intensity threatens the simplicity of the world that they have created.

You do things with gusto. You believe that you only live once, and therefore, you make an effort to live life to the fullest. Many people don’t do things in the same manner, and they will therefore not get why you do it. But take heart, there will be people who understand your passion, and you can hold on to them.

You Never encourage shallow relationships. You’re not the kind of person who is going to enjoy a one-night stand or a casual fling. If you get into a relationship, you’re all in. You want to connect with someone on a deep level, establishing a meaningful relationship, and anything less is a waste of time in your opinion. As a person with a deep personality, you expect others to give as you give, but you’ll soon be disappointed when you find that many people are only “deep” on the surface” and that it is difficult for people to keep up the ruse over time.

You are incredibly open-minded. Too many people have masked closed-mindedness today with the illusion that they are merely staying true to their morals and beliefs rather than admitting they simply haven’t tried to understand. Instead, you are open to trying to understand new ideas, concepts and ways of living. You may not agree, but you’re always willing to learn more.

IMG_1023You are brutally honest.When it comes down to it, you don’t have time to waste beating around the bush. It’s why people both love and hate you. You don’t bother to sugar coat things, and see your honesty as a positive trait about you. Don’t worry, it is, but many people are not going to like it when you tell it like it is, especially if it’s a hard truth about themselves they don’t want to admit.

You always have a clear picture of what you want. Knowing what you want means you can get to work faster. This means that people will be always in your dust. Your goals are always a top priority which can lead you to say or do things in your quest to achieve success that will make others feel uncomfortable. When you speak your mind you are capable of achieving those goals and that makes people pretty uncomfortable; especially when they are comparing themselves to you and your amazing self. Just be careful not to be too goal focused or you can lose sight of the beauty in the little moments in between.

Your habits are programmed. Schedules and consistency are your friends, creating a solid and predictable foundation upon which you can build your life. You like to know what to expect and how you should prepare for it, and you have no interest in surprises.

You are a solution for problems. If you’re in a difficult situation, you’re not the kind of person who is going to sit around wallowing in the struggle you’ve been handed. Instead, you will instantly get to work trying to find a solution to the problem, working on getting yourself out of there and on to better things.

You like consistency. Your deep personality requires some maintenance and that means that you don’t like surprises. You expect people to do what they said they would do, and you always deliver on your promises in return. When someone rocks the boat, it can be hard for your emotional thought process to handle, and that means that you need longer to deal with life’s problems. But that’s okay, it also means you get to spend more time working through things that others would just glaze over.

Your life isn’t fear driven. Every human being experiences fear. For some people, it can stop them from living a full life. But you’re different. Fear is just another annoying emotion you’ve chosen to accept and move on from. You understand that you will undoubtedly experience fear when you try something new, but you also know that trying new things is what makes life fun and rewarding. After all, growth only happens when you escape your comfort zone.

You aren’t afraid of intimacy. You never seen feeling uncomfortable in expressing love or your feelings. I still remember you sharing your first kiss incident. You want to share your life with someone who understands you at your deepest core. ThaWhatsApp Image 2019-11-17 at 8.02.39 PM(2)t can be hard .But it doesn’t mean that you will never find it. It’s surprising how many people in today’s society claim to understand the importance of intimacy and then shy away from it completely when the opportunity presents itself.

You are incredibly intense in all that you do.You are too intense for some people. You love life and you love living life to the fullest.You intend on living life to the fullest, experiencing everything available. This causes you to lead your life with a level of intensity that most will fail to understand. The few who understand you will share your passion for finding enjoyment in every moment, those are the people you need to surround yourself with.

You cannot shut your mouth.While this may come across to others like you are  interrogating them, the truth is that you want to get to know them on a deeper and more meaningful level. You aren’t asking for manipulative reasons or to find out information you can use to your benefit later, you genuinely want to understand others better and asking questions is the best way to learn more.

You hate waiting in life. Sure, you understand the importance of friendship and companionship but when it comes down to it, you have places to go and things to accomplish. If someone is going to waste your time or leave you waiting around waiting for them to recognize what you have to offer, you have better things to do. You’ll simply walk away and devote that time and energy into those who are ready.

You are like a human lie detector. When someone is being insincere or dishonest, it’s like a red light goes off in your mind warning you that they are screwing around. As someone who values honest, as we previously discussed, there’s nothing you see as a bigger deal breaker than someone who tells lies. You have no interest in sticking around for those that don’t respect you enough to be transparent with you.

You are careful who you let into your life. You only want to spend time with people who actually add to your life. After all, what good is a friend if they don’t make your life better? Yes, you’re intense when it comes to adhering to these principles, but it’s the best way for you to live a great life.

WhatsApp Image 2019-11-17 at 8.02.39 PMYou hate ignorance. You cannot tolerate the feeling of being ignored by your beloved ones. Your critical thinking skills are something you’re immensely proud of. So when people make judgments without knowing the facts, it irks you to your core.

You love learning and expanding your mind. You are book worm not reading books alone, but peoples lives as well. Your deep and complex mind needs new information to feed itself. You love learning new things and expanding your knowledge about the world and the universe.

You don’t need attention. Craving attention because of your looks is something you simply can’t understand. You’d rather live with integrity and keep your complexity and depth about you. That’s why you take the time to get to know someone. You know there’s much more to a person than what appears on the surface. This can be intimidating to some people because you won’t be manipulated by what appears on the outside. You see them for who they truly are.

I watched this video about you. The reason nobody doesn’t understand you is that you try to be the different one and perhaps you don’t want to be understood. There’s nothing wrong with being different, it’s good to be you and unique. If you weren’t different, we’d all be the same and that’s not fun nor worth it. Many people in this world  won’t understand you like me in the first meet, but that isn’t a bad thing, But that doesn’t make you less of who you are.

MunnaPrawin, you are very unique and special to me. You are unique breed of human with so many attractive and inspiring traits. Never change yourself for anyone. Let people leave you, but never leave yourself. Remember your words, If a day comes where, I have to change ME to impress this world, that means I am dead.Remember these words forever and never change. One last thing, you may have heard this word from many, but i wanna say that I love you till my last breath. Yours loving AkshayaAryan.

 

 

 

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