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This Is When You’re Gonna Miss Her Most


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Heart filled with Love..

I never knew, i love her so much, till I met and lost lost her in the journey of my life.

She’s not the type of person you miss when she leaves. In fact, you might not even notice she’s gone initially… because well you thought she’d always be there. She’ll casually go without a goodbye or some grand exit because it was hard for her to give up on you. It was hard for her to walk away and not look back. It was hard for her to accept no matter how hard she tried, you never were going to reciprocate was she both wanted and deserved.

She was around and gave you so much attention so often you took her for granted. You’re still going to think she’s someone you can pick and choose when you want to. What you don’t realize is she made the choice to walk away already. And it broke her heart to do so. But she had to because you left her with no other choice. If you weren’t going to appreciate her presence she’d make you realize what you lost in her absence.

Missing her… It’s going to happen when you least expect it. You’ll see her somewhere and she might not even notice you at first. She’ll be so consumed by the attention of someone else. You’ll look at this person who is making her smile so big and that’s when it’s going to hit how pretty she is when she’s happy. But you never saw that side of her because all you did was disappoint her and let her down and bring out the worst of her.

You never saw how torn up she was about every little thing. But she lost sleep over you. You spent too much time talking about you. Too much time emotionally invested. And when you’re emotionally invested in someone you don’t see how bad they are for you sometimes. 270f02c9985b5d6bcd64c03b3ecfa9c9

Maybe someone will mention her in conversation and ask you how she’s doing because there was a time you knew. There was a time you were very much a part of her life and so involved you could answer on her behalf because you knew about every good day and bad one.

You’ll freeze for a moment and you’ll answer good but the truth is you’re finding out about her life the way everyone else is. Through social media. Instagram posts. FB updates. Snap stories. And you aren’t hearing from her firsthand like you used to.

It’s going to hurt a bit once you realize that.

You’ll go to text her and you’ll realize you don’t even know how to say hello.

You’ll realize there are so many things you want to tell her. And you think back to a time when every conversation she made about you. Even when you ignored her she’d send a double text continuing to try and keep the conversation going. You’ll stare at her name in your phone, looking back at the date of the last time you spoke and you’ll realize how long it’s been. But what’s going to hurt more is that it took you this long to realize she was already gone.

What’s going to hurt is the moment you realize you did nothing to make her want to stay.

You’ll miss the little details of her life even the things she used to complain about.

You’ll miss even the things that used to annoy you about her. How long her texts were, how she’d answer in less than 5 seconds making it so easy. How predictable she was and how you thought she’d always be there. Because no matter what you did or how you treated her it never altered the way she treated you.

You’ll miss having someone who genuinely cared about you. Someone who took time out of their day to ask how you were and wait for an answer. Someone who went out of their way and always made sure they were there. Someone who took the time to learn and understand you. Someone who wanted to know about your past to understand why you were the way you were. Someone who would have gone to the ends of the earth to make you happy and never stopped praising you or building you up even if you were knocking her down.

You’ll miss her late at night when you’re laying there alone and you realize there’s no one to talk to. And it’s not just her you miss it’s the conversations you used to have, how she’d get you to a place no one else could. How she’d get you thinking about things caring about things, believing in things even if it was you yourself. After talking to her she thought you could do anything because that’s how much she believed in you.

You’ll find yourself driving and a song will start playing and you’ll freeze for a moment thinking of her. It’s one of the songs she made you listen to and it’s only now you realize why. It was just another clever way of her saying she cared without spelling it out. You’ll drive past a place and it’s her ghost you’ll see there as flashbacks run through your mind of when you were there together and things were so different.

You’ll think back to a time when you knew she cared even when you didn’t. Moments where she poured her heart out to you and all you did was listen.

And you’ll hate yourself for realizing it too late that you really do care. Maybe you always have. And you probably always will care a little bit. That’s the thing about girls like her, they come into your life just long enough to leave a lasting impression before they take off again. Forever leaving a little bit of an imprint on your heart. She’ll leave and you won’t even be able to be angry at her for it. You’re more so angry at yourself for not realizing what you had when you had it.

You’ll again and she’ll smile and hug you and ask how you are because she doesn’t hold it against you for not caring. But what she doesn’t realize is how you do care. But you let her go on her way not saying anything because even you know, she deserves better and it wasn’t supposed to end this way.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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My First Love called me Munna


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Yesterday, during one of discussions with my Stakeholders, I was asked how did I have a unique Surname  Munna. I simply smiled at him and continued my discussion. He interrupted me and asked the same question again.

Unknowingly, an angel called Nikki flashed in my mind. Nikki, she is the amazing girl who entered and left my life  unknowingly. In the last 20 years, thousands of people asked me the same question during my colleges days, Trainings, guest lectures, office place etc. Answer is simple and straightforward. My First love used to call me by name Munna.MunnaPrawinI love you”- a sacred phrase that was already made before each of us was born. It may sometimes be hard to explain, hard to say and hard to express, but it will always be easy to feel. I didn’t believe in such feeling as love ever, not so long until I met somebody, who changed my life and made me utter these words with no doubt, no hesitation, just love. First love is an experience that you get only once because it’s filled with emotions that you feel for the very first time. Enter into your life, from out of nowhere, this new person. BOOM! You can’t explain quite why, but you just know there’s something super-special about them. Thrilling, perhaps. Your beloved is an angel.

When Nikki was two days shy of her 15th birthday the night I kissed her for the first time. Her name was Nikki. It was July 18, 1999, and as we are walking back from school in the evening, I stopped her by holding the hand and kissed her — full-mouthed and everything I dreamed of and more. She was so shocked and inexperienced that she kept her eyes open at first, not sure what to do or where to put her hands. All I can feel is good, like eating ice cream on a summer night.

I had never been kissed before. Not a peck on the cheek. The kiss led to more dates, made us more close that and my girl used to hold my hands as we walked out of high school and the next thing I knew, I had a girlfriend. You will never kiss anyone again like how you kiss someone when you’re in high school. Remember this. There is something innocent and passionate about the high-school sweetheart relationship.

Reality of Life

Everyone who falls in love for the first time thinks that his or her respective romance is far superior than everyone else’s, by the way. Sure, other people have first loves—but they cannot hold a candle to yours. You and your beloved are unique. No one else can feel these particular emotions. Oh, no. You alone own these one-of-a-kind feelings that no other human will ever know. And you feel them potently.

That’s first love for you. It’s awesome. It’s wonderful. It’s a mirage. It’s innocent, because for a brief time, you truly do believe that you are special and unique. (This is actually your brain chemicals playing a nifty little trick on you to get you to reproduce and perpetuate the species—but you don’t know of such banalities yet.)

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Think of first love as your very first time riding an airplane. It’s magical. A little scary, maybe? You don’t know what to expect, what comes next. Part of the thrill is feeling the plane take off from the tarmac for the first time and edging into the sky. I like to think of first love as a lot like that plane ride—young lovers are focused on the thrill of their journey. They’re not really too concerned about where they end up.

They could end up in a tropical paradise, although that’s a long shot. More likely, they end up in a depressing third-world country without enough money to get back home. Many first love experiences are tumultuous, peppered with arguments and discord. Young lovers don’t realise  that this is not normal and remain slaves to their feelings. Sometimes for years.

Once you get older, you realise  that the journey is important only insofar that it serves a function to get you to a specific place. But it’s where you end up together that’s far more important. Most young people are unqualified to make that assessment, which makes marrying their first love one big crapshoot.

I don’t regret having a first love—it was a positive, wonderful experience. But I’m relieved that we didn’t end up together. Our lives diverged wildly, and we’re nothing like the young adults we were back in the day.

I have since had loves that were mature and based on things of substance—agreed-on values, morals, and lifestyles. Those relationships made my first love affair seem rather silly by comparison.

Silly, but relevant, because it was my first. Lastly, she is no more in my life and on this earth, but she stays in my memories forever. Years later, now I am father of my two, I look back on my first love as the relationship that catapulted me into all the others — the one that prepared me for all the ups and downs of love and life that would lie ahead.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (Link) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and LinkedIn Link

 

 

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