Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.
When it comes to love, most of us tend to settle, we do this without even realizing it, and I am sick of it. So many amazing people end up stuck in toxic relationships wasting away because they are afraid to move forward, and afraid of being alone.
Below I am going to go over some of the things you should never allow within a relationship. These are things far too many of us settle for and allow to happen or go on within our relationships. We all deserve someone who knows our worth and treats us right, someone who is willing to motivate us when we are down and help us through all the hard times. Your bar is not set too high, don’t be willing to bump it down for just anyone.
Someone who doesn’t care about your feelings.
If he or she doesn’t care about how you feel or how he or she is making you feel you need to cut ties. You need someone that really wants to make you happy and is willing to take your emotions into consideration. In a real functioning relationship, everyone’s feelings will be taken into consideration.
Someone who brings out the worst in you.
If the person you are with brings out the worst in you then you should not be with him or her. You should find someone that brings out the best in you. Sure, you might care about this person, but he or she is not causing you anything more than pain and stress, let him or her go and move on. Sometimes toxic relationships are not so much abusive as they are just people not being able to click properly.
Someone who takes advantage of you.
Never let anyone take advantage of you, especially not someone you are in love with. Make sure that your partner is bringing the same amount to the table as you are. Don’t give someone your all only for them to give you nothing. People will use you and take you for all you have in this world. Most people are not what they seem.
Someone who is very double-standard oriented.
Do not be with someone who thinks you have to abide by some kind of relationship rules and he or she doesn’t. If you are expected to answer all of his or her calls, but then he or she cannot be bothered to do the same to you why stick around? You deserve someone that is on the same level as you are.
Someone who isn’t willing to put forth the effort.
You should never settle for someone who will not make an effort in the relationship. You should not be coming all the way for someone who won’t even roll over in your direction. You should both be putting forth equal amounts of effort to make things work, no more-no less.
Someone who refuses to take responsibility for his or herself.
You should never settle for someone who won’t take responsibility for his or herself. You and your partner are not the same person. Sure, you might have each other’s backs but at the end of the day you have to own your shit and he or she has to own his or her shit. That is just how it goes, otherwise, problems within the relationship will occur and you will find yourself constantly having to make excuses for him or her. This is something none of us want to deal with.
Someone who makes you doubt yourself.
If someone you are close to is making you doubt yourself then the relationship is already off to a rocky start. Your partner should be building you up and making you feel better about yourself. This is a breeding ground for toxic energies and you should get out while you can.
Someone who tries to control what you wear or do.
If your partner is trying to control the things you wear and the things you do you are settling for someone who is going to try and control you in other ways as time progresses. Controlling partners are not going to let you be yourself. They are going to try and mold you into the person they want you to be and that will never work.
Someone who blames you for their problems or mistakes.
If your partner is constantly blaming you for his or her problems or mistakes why should you stick around? You should not be taking the flack for things you have no control over and did not do in the first place. He or she should be owning his or her stuff; it is not your place too and you should never be put in that kind of situation.
Someone who crosses your boundaries on purpose.
If someone is crossing your boundaries because he or she doesn’t care that they are there in the first place you should not be with them. Your boundaries are there for a reason and you should not be forced to feel like him or her making you uncomfortable is alright, it is not alright. Someone who loves and cares about you will take the time to pay attention to you and respect you and your boundaries.
Someone who refuses to actually work or take care of his or herself.
If the person you are with refuses to better his or herself they oftentimes cannot be helped. Don’t let this person bring you down. You should not be carrying their weight and your weight, everyone should be contributing to things in one way or another. You are no maid.
Someone who torments you be it physical, verbal, or any possible form.
No one should ever put up with any kind of abuse. You can and will find someone who will treat you like you put the stars in the sky. DO NOT EVER let someone put their hands on you or make you feel like you are worthless. You are amazing and you deserve all the best things in this world.
Someone who acts like you owe them something.
Let me get this clear! You do not owe anything to anybody but yourself. If you do not want to do something, you do not have to!
Posted by: Gerald Sinclair
Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.