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Divorce is chance to start fresh and discover yourself!


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

 

Marriage isn’t a love affair. It isn’t even a honeymoon. It’s a job. A long hard job, at which both partners have to work, harder than they’ve worked at anything in their lives before. If it’s a good marriage, it changes, it evolves, but it goes on getting better. I’ve seen it with my own mother and father. But a bad marriage can dissolve in a welter of resentment and acrimony. I’ve seen that, too, in my own miserable and disastrous attempt at making another person happy. And it’s never one person’s fault. It’s the sum total of a thousand little irritations, disagreements, idiotic details that in a sound alliance would simply be disregarded, or forgotten in the healing act of making love. Divorce isn’t a cure, it’s a surgical operation, even if there are no children to consider.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. With divorce Your relationship may be “Breaking Up,” but you won’t be “Breaking Down. Many say its not easy to come out of the state, at same time it i snot hard as well. For every divorced one, there will be a person, who can understand him/her in a better way and take best care for rest of time. Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the Enddivorce-is-not-the-end

You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Turn the page, there might be a good news awaiting for you that makes you happy.

Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family.

I am a divorcee, it’s been more than 2 years now. Although it was the toughest decision of my life, not a day goes by when I don’t thank God for the courage he gave me. So, whether it is me or any other woman I am sure she would have gone through a few of these things:

1) Facing the fact that we are labelled. We are a divorcee now and the world never misses an opportunity to remind us of that status.

2) Pity. People will show fake sympathy and pity. Do not fall for it. Things like “you must be lonely na. How do you stay strong? I wish you find someone good. “Do not discuss the details of your divorce with anyone. They will not understand it unless they have gone through it!

3) Judging. We will be judged for what we wear, what we eat, who we talk to, everything!!! So, keep calm and ignore.

4) Curiosity. Our sex lives will a source of mystery to them. So never ever discuss it. They will not believe what you say and will have their version of it.

5) Adjustment. We need to make changes to our personal and professional lives. Eat healthy. Take care of ourselves. Keep ourselves busy.

6) Learning to be alone. This one is hard. At times it gets lonely, very lonely, learn to deal with it.

2b2ab942cd8dda95fb9bfb43d3fe8bec7) Self-pity. We need to stop the pity party. If we do not stay strong, we will be squashed. We are all we have!

8) Faith. Just because we went through tough times does not mean we lose faith in ourselves or in the almighty.

9) Family. This is the time we need to be there for each other. But, do not hold your breath on it.

10) Friends. You get to know who your real friends are. DO not get in touch with wrong ones. Limit relations as men may try to use your situations. Respect and love the people who are truly with you.

11) Dating, Marriage. Date only if you want to. Not because you have to or you should or you feel lonely. Do not get carried away by fake words of men who want you.

12) Be Careful with your wishes. It is time where you have to very careful. Even a bit of support or care given by a person, you will start falling for them. No one comes close without a reason, so be wise in dealing and judging people around. do not take chance again without proper understandings

13) Become Financially Strong. Try to become financially strong to take care of you and Kid(s) id you have. Its the first thing that makes you believe you are no way lost anything in life. Get a suitable job or move to a suitable job profile

14) Keep check on your health. To do anything in life remember you have to be health, so take good care your health. Take proper diet, have good sleep.

Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the End… Divorce is a choice and I chose to leave. For me, divorce affirmed that an unhappy marriage is no place to raise a child. It didn’t matter if the unhappiness was one or two sided. What mattered to me most was what my son would bear witness to. I realized that there is no dishonor in my decision, so long as we remain a family. And we have. My son knows that he is loved and he sees a fabulous friendship and co-parenting relationship.

 

For those of you who are divorcing or trying to come to terms with it after the fact, know this: You are not a failure, a jerk, a bad person; some relationships are just not meant to last. Love is not enough, and it does not conquer all, despite what we are spoon fed. The best and truest love we can ever experience is the love we have for ourselves. If you set that relationship aside for the sake of “saving a marriage”, you have failed your one true love.

 

I also realized that I will love again.I will love and be loved by someone in a breathtaking way. And I will be ready for it because I fell in love with me first.

Once the fog from our bad times clear up, We see who we are! What we are capable of. It is a chance to start a fresh and discover yourself!
“Divorce is a fire exit. When a house is burning, it doesn’t matter who set the fire. If there is no fire exit, everyone in the house will be burned!”
Words by Shipra Jain…..

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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Why, When & How Women cheat their Partners


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Why do women cheat? The answer is as complicated as one might imagine. A lot of the time the reasons are physical, sometimes they’re emotional, and, sometimes, as much as we don’t want to admit this or know this, sometimes it’s just a matter of somebody having an opportunity,”

bacadc577a68fbaa761514ae0ba8c76c (1)There is a common misperception that it’s only men who step out on their partners and that women are always faithful. To that, I say: Who are all these men cheating with exactly? Do heterosexual men only cheat with single women and each other?

Unlike previous generations, currently women and men cheat at approximately the same rates, though the reasons why women cheat may be different from men. The main reasons for cheating in women are: lack of love for primary partner, desire for sexual variety, and situational factors (like being drunk or on vacation) and many more.

The simple truth is that approximately as many married, heterosexual women cheat as married, heterosexual men. Research suggests that 10 to 20 percent of men and women in marriages or other committed (monogamous) relationships will actively engage in sexual activity outside of their primary relationship.

Typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:

  • They feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. When you ignore your woman’s needs especially the emotional and intimate wants, her moods towards you will change drastically more than they do when her estrogens and progesterone levels fluctuate on every ovulation. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek an external situation that validates them for who they are, rather than the services they perform.
  • Revenge: If her partner has had an affair or has damaged the partner in some way, the offended partner may feel a need for revenge resulting in an affair. Few Woman, wanna take a revenge by sleeping with other Men.
  • Idealistic expectations from a relationship. Some women fantasise beyond the thresholds of realism which leaves them extremely disappointed in the relationship with their partner. Women with this utopic mindset expects eternal pampering from their spouse like having them around round the clock all 365 days. Though such expectations are not realistic, they look out for other men who may turn them true.
  • Her man is bad in bed. One of the key reasons why women cheat is the partner’s lack lustre performance. It is hard enough being in a relationship where sex is insufficient; if this is coupled with poor quality performance then it is only a matter of time before the disgruntled partner seeks gratification elsewhere.
  • They are lonely. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void.
  • They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
  • Material Favors. People get attracted to flashy things from time to time; it gets even worse if these are things they can’t afford. A woman may be attempted to cheat while hoping that the besotted extra wheel will be kind enough to throw in the desired gifts as a way of showing gratitude.
  • Lack of enough satisfying intimacy, passion and sex. There is a societal misconception that only men enjoy sex. But plenty of women also enjoy sex, and if f1778c84509ba4146d4ec406358bd957they’re not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatever reason, they may well seek it elsewhere.A relationship that lacks sexual intimacy is as good as dead to a woman. This is mostly true in a relationship that previously enjoyed a vibrant sex life only for situations to end up reducing and completely killing intimacy.
  • Need for Attention and being wanted. As witnessed in the points above, the reasons why women cheat on their partners is propagated by intertwined emotional factors. Remember that many men in their optimum to impress will always lure a woman with sweet words and total attention. If you fail to attend to your woman’s needs and offer a listening ear, she will cheat on you because she will fell more appreciated and wanted elsewhere.
  • The Thrill, Adventure.Cheating may also happen when people let their lives fall into a continuous boring routine. In a bid to seek the missing adventure, cheating becomes an attractive preoccupation. Many women had admitted to being turned on by the risk of getting caught and the adventurous nature of extra-marital sex.
  • Want to test the water first. Another reason why women cheat is uncertainty of the relationship at hand. In this case, a woman may pretend to be committed in a relationship only to be in another or even other relationships, all in the quest of finding “Mr. Right”.
  • They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than sexual activity. When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.
  • They are overwhelmed by the needs of others. Recent research about women who cheat indicates that many women, despite stating that they deeply love their spouse, their home, their work, and their lives, cheat anyway. These women often describe feeling so under-supported and overwhelmed by having to be all things to all people at all times that they seek extramarital sex as a form of life-fulfillment.
  • They are responding to or re-enacting early-life trauma and abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it.
  • She wants to experience something new. Many women are pushed to cheat because they want to try things they deem they should have tried long ago. A lot of this is borne of the conversations they have with friends. If they feel their experiences are mute compared to what their friends relate then they might be tempted to even the scores.

As with male cheaters, women who cheat typically do not realize (in the moment) how profoundly infidelity affects their partner and their relationship. Cheating hurts betrayed men just as much as it hurts betrayed women. The keeping of secrets, especially sexual and romantic secrets, damages relationship trust and is incredibly painful regardless of gender.But cheating doesn’t have to be seen as the end of a relationship; instead, it can be viewed as a test of its maturity and ability to weather the storm.

There are several reasons, why women are cheating their partner and I’m pretty sure that more than 50% are guilty of it. But how should you know if your girlfriend is loyal? Below are the most common signs that can help you tell whether your woman is cheating on you.

23598b264c041b0b4ebf5447dabb0617--quotes-about-married-womanShe Stops Caring. Women are wired to care about the smallest details about their men and relationships. She cares how many times you call and whether you make time for her. She gets angry with you when you forget those important dates in your relationship and will make a big fuss about it. So when your lady stops caring that you didn’t call and when she doesn’t throw a fit that you forgot all your special dates, then you have cause to worry.

If she start paying more attention to appearance. This sign doesn’t always mean that she is cheating you – especially if they’ve already discussed with you wanting to change their appearance. However, if your partner goes from not caring much about how they look, to suddenly preening like a peacock, they may be trying to impress someone else.

They’re (too often) home late from work. . One of the strongest signs of cheating is when your woman starts falling in love with her work more. If your partner is usually home by a certain time every day, but suddenly they’re staying late at work, it could be an excuse for them to see someone else behind your back. It’s a common enough excuse that many people don’t think too much about. She could be spending time with a male co-worker instead of you. 

Secretive phone or computer use. Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign.

If she picked up new habits. These habits can be anything from suddenly being over-protective of their phone, to not picking up their phone when you call. The new habits that your partner exhibits will often be hard to explain away, and your partner may feel defensive if you try to bring them up. This can be a sign that they’re seeing someone else and they don’t want you to know about it.

Sexier Inner-wear & change in Perfumes.When a woman is involved with someone new, she often will go out and purchase sexier bras and panties – because she feels sexier. There is a pleasure women get in being appreciated as a sexual being and will behave a little more sexier… maybe she’s leaving an extra button undone on her blouse or wearing her hair down instead of neatly tied up. Maybe she has changed her perfume. She may also change the way she wears make-up for similar reasons.

Stops sharing the details. When your love was young, sweet, and full of promise, your girl just couldn’t wait to share everything with you. When she was having an issue at work or with friends, she always opened up. But now she always says that she is fine or tells you not to bother. These are very bad indicators that show your relationship is almost over and you have every right to be paranoid. If she starts being all cagey, then she is planning on being a cheat – if she isn’t one already.

She starts telling lies. It might be hard to trust her anyway if you have already caught her telling you lies about who she is with, or where she has been.

Acting defensively . If your woman is cheating on you she is afraid of getting caught; she will get defensive and anything you ask or say to her will be taken as an accusation. You can know she is cheating if she is defensive about how she spends her time, who she spends it with and when she refuses to answer simple questions.

Significantly less, or more, or different sex in your relationship. Both decreased and increased levels of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up. Yet another possible sign is that your partner is introducing new techniques and activities into your sex life. As much as you might enjoy that, it’s possible that they are learning new tricks outside of your relationship. bdd720db4a881db986548a558bd27f98

Unexplained expenses. If there are odd charges on your partner’s credit cards, or there is suddenly less money in your or your partner’s bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., that’s a possible sign of infidelity. If you ask your partner about these expenses, and their answers seem untrue, it’s likely that they are untrue.

She doesn’t invite you out with her friends. One sign that your girlfriend might be cheating on you is if she is suddenly spending more time with friends, but leaving you at home. If she isn’t inviting you out or is insisting that you stay home and watch the game, you might be right to be concerned.

Sudden strange friends. If your woman begins to have mysterious friends that are taking most of her time, there are high chances that she is cheating on you. It does not matter whether it is a friend or a workmate but as long as she is not willing to disclose more information, it is a direct telltale sign that she is cheating.

Spending less time with your family or friends. If a woman begins to detach herself from the family, there are strong signs that she is cheating. There are also other women who will stop any close relationship with your friends for fear of showing off their guilt. The woman may be feeling guilty and being close to your family or friends is painful because symptoms of guilt may manifest.

These signs are a clear indication that your woman is cheating on you, or intends to do so. If there is no cheating, the same signs may be a suggestion that the relationship is not where it should be, but don’t get paranoid unless there is a combination of the above signs that make you feel like something is wrong.

If the many signs above add up, consider asking her directly if she is seeing someone else. I have collected the most popular reasons why woman cheat from various sources, always be aware of them, when it comes to choosing the right woman for a relationship.

Many people who are cheating think it’s easier to find a “quick solution” than do the hard work, or so it seems. Bottom line is an affair may seem like an easy answer, but it will only create more work and hardship. Don’t do similar mistake like many of us committed in our lives.

Appreciate your partner, and show them how much they mean to you, pounder them in love and care. But, most importantly, put your phone down, stop looking up towards co-workers, avoid pornography, stop looking living with social sites and look into the face in front of you. It might be the one.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honored if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

 

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