Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.
Marriage isn’t a love affair. It isn’t even a honeymoon. It’s a job. A long hard job, at which both partners have to work, harder than they’ve worked at anything in their lives before. If it’s a good marriage, it changes, it evolves, but it goes on getting better. I’ve seen it with my own mother and father. But a bad marriage can dissolve in a welter of resentment and acrimony. I’ve seen that, too, in my own miserable and disastrous attempt at making another person happy. And it’s never one person’s fault. It’s the sum total of a thousand little irritations, disagreements, idiotic details that in a sound alliance would simply be disregarded, or forgotten in the healing act of making love. Divorce isn’t a cure, it’s a surgical operation, even if there are no children to consider.
Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. With divorce Your relationship may be “Breaking Up,” but you won’t be “Breaking Down. Many say its not easy to come out of the state, at same time it i snot hard as well. For every divorced one, there will be a person, who can understand him/her in a better way and take best care for rest of time. Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the End
You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Turn the page, there might be a good news awaiting for you that makes you happy.
Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family.
I am a divorcee, it’s been more than 2 years now. Although it was the toughest decision of my life, not a day goes by when I don’t thank God for the courage he gave me. So, whether it is me or any other woman I am sure she would have gone through a few of these things:
1) Facing the fact that we are labelled. We are a divorcee now and the world never misses an opportunity to remind us of that status.
2) Pity. People will show fake sympathy and pity. Do not fall for it. Things like “you must be lonely na. How do you stay strong? I wish you find someone good. “Do not discuss the details of your divorce with anyone. They will not understand it unless they have gone through it!
3) Judging. We will be judged for what we wear, what we eat, who we talk to, everything!!! So, keep calm and ignore.
4) Curiosity. Our sex lives will a source of mystery to them. So never ever discuss it. They will not believe what you say and will have their version of it.
5) Adjustment. We need to make changes to our personal and professional lives. Eat healthy. Take care of ourselves. Keep ourselves busy.
6) Learning to be alone. This one is hard. At times it gets lonely, very lonely, learn to deal with it.
7) Self-pity. We need to stop the pity party. If we do not stay strong, we will be squashed. We are all we have!
8) Faith. Just because we went through tough times does not mean we lose faith in ourselves or in the almighty.
9) Family. This is the time we need to be there for each other. But, do not hold your breath on it.
10) Friends. You get to know who your real friends are. DO not get in touch with wrong ones. Limit relations as men may try to use your situations. Respect and love the people who are truly with you.
11) Dating, Marriage. Date only if you want to. Not because you have to or you should or you feel lonely. Do not get carried away by fake words of men who want you.
12) Be Careful with your wishes. It is time where you have to very careful. Even a bit of support or care given by a person, you will start falling for them. No one comes close without a reason, so be wise in dealing and judging people around. do not take chance again without proper understandings
13) Become Financially Strong. Try to become financially strong to take care of you and Kid(s) id you have. Its the first thing that makes you believe you are no way lost anything in life. Get a suitable job or move to a suitable job profile
14) Keep check on your health. To do anything in life remember you have to be health, so take good care your health. Take proper diet, have good sleep.
Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the End… Divorce is a choice and I chose to leave. For me, divorce affirmed that an unhappy marriage is no place to raise a child. It didn’t matter if the unhappiness was one or two sided. What mattered to me most was what my son would bear witness to. I realized that there is no dishonor in my decision, so long as we remain a family. And we have. My son knows that he is loved and he sees a fabulous friendship and co-parenting relationship.
For those of you who are divorcing or trying to come to terms with it after the fact, know this: You are not a failure, a jerk, a bad person; some relationships are just not meant to last. Love is not enough, and it does not conquer all, despite what we are spoon fed. The best and truest love we can ever experience is the love we have for ourselves. If you set that relationship aside for the sake of “saving a marriage”, you have failed your one true love.
I also realized that I will love again.I will love and be loved by someone in a breathtaking way. And I will be ready for it because I fell in love with me first.
Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.