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Work Making You Anxious? Thinking Of Quitting?


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

We all join jobs to earn a good salary which is required for good living. But the pace we are working and living today causes stress. We all know our capability but when the workplace expects to deliver beyond our capability then stress at work occurs. Stress affects a lot of people, and can influence your health. And also we come across colleagues with Anxiety and Depression in team.

Stress and anxiety may seem similar, but they’re not the same. The difference? Stress is a response to daily pressures or a threatening situation, while anxiety is a reaction to the stress. Anxiety, which has no clear cause, tends to last longer and be more difficult to treat. Anxiety can make you feel like a failure and it may make you feel stupid and feel stressed out.

Are you alone getting stressed out in the workplaceHave you ever checked with your friends, how they are feeling in their job? Ask any of your friends, you will get the common answer that “We are all stressed at work”?

Whoever is working, they are feeling the pressure of work-related stress, irrespective of age, experience, gender, and position. Only the level of stress varies from person to person. It’s impossible to get a completely stress-free work environment today.

In today’s work environment, office politics is very common. People are pulling each other’s legs to show-off and make them significant. Frictions happen between employees and it never goes away.

You would have heard that “there is no married relationship without some fights”. In the same way, “there can be no office without politics”.

In earlier days once we leave the office and go home, work did not follow us. But now we have an option to be fully connected to our work, 24 hours a day. It’s your choice to allow it or not.

People who struggle with anxiety often find themselves struggling with low self-esteem. They may have poor confidence in themselves or think they are worthless.Feeling worthless often involves a sense of hopelessness and insignificance. Such feelings are often a common symptom of depression, but can also arise due to things such as low self-esteem, neglect, abuse, trauma, or difficult situations that pose a threat to a person’s sense of self.

A small amount of anxiety helps your body to perform at its best.  An adrenaline kick starts you every morning and keeps you alert throughout the day. However, too much of this stress hormone can exhaust you. Everybody has bad days at work. But if you dread waking up every Monday through Friday, or you regularly find yourself sitting at your desk on the verge of tears, you probably have a more serious problem on your hands. Feeling worthless can create significant distress and make it difficult to function normally in daily life.

Stressed out at Work: Can You Afford to Quit Your Job - Harish Saras

Workplace issues does not stay at work. It creeps into every part of a persons life and can change their whole perception of themselves. It can destroy the self worth of even the most confident people – especially if the workplace does not have the right support systems.

1. Your Skills Are Being Underutilized. Management doesn’t acknowledge that you have more to offer than what you’ve been contributing for a significant amount of time. Perhaps you’ve been passed over for promotion – or your repeated attempts to take on more challenging assignments have failed.

Just be cautious – you should still perform to the best of your ability so that you will have those all-important references for the future.

2. You’re Not Following Your Passion. If you’re not doing what you love, you will never tap your true potential. It will just continue to be “a job,” and eventually each day will seem more of a grind. If you’ve tried re-inventing yourself at the company with a lateral move – or changing your job description to no avail – then it’s time to go back to the roots of what you love. First, however, brush up on your skills to ensure that they are current and marketable.

3. The Boss Keeps Behaving Badly. If you’ve tried everything under the sun to “Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant” boss or co-worker; talked to your boss; your boss’s boss; Human Resources; and your work life is simply unbearable, then it’s time to visit your favorite job board. Just make sure you’re not going from the frying pan into the fire. Through job interviews and other sources, become a sleuth: try to determine how your prospective new boss and employer operates, the culture and management style.

4. The Company is Tanking. The firm has managed to stay afloat during several downsizings, management changes and reorganizations. But if the company consolidates anymore, they could collapse. Recently you heard another department is closing or about another mass exodus. There’s no need to go down with this ship. Put on your life preserver and get in the water.

5. You’re Not Being Fairly Compensated. Downsizing has moved your team into double time, but certainly no where near double compensation. You’ve been made to feel lucky to receive a paycheck. The company might even be performing well, but that is not reflected in your salary or other rewards. You can’t even get an evaluation or your evaluation is not consistent with your true work performance. Perhaps clients have given you excellent feedback, but that is not reflected in your compensation. It may be time to think green (as in more money) or make like a tree and…article continues after advertisement

6. Your Values and the Company’s Are a Mismatch. You feel that there are ethical or moral differences in how the company and you believe the firm should operate; cultural differences; work ethic clashes, and so on. Perhaps its latest product is bad for the environment for example, and you are an avid environmentalist. Whatever the issue, you’re morally misaligned with your employer, and it’s an uncomfortable workplace setting.

7. You Aren’t Being Heard. You can’t seem to: get time with the “powers that be”; get approvals; or get acknowledgment for great work; and over time, projects are no longer coming your way. There may be a changing of the guard at the top; you’re being edged out of projects; or the entire position seems at risk for political or other reasons. Essentially you are being ignored out of a job.

8. The Job is Making You Sick. Instead of jumping out of bed first thing raring to go to work, you feel immobile. You think of ten reasons why you should call in sick because you are sick. Stress, fear or lack of enthusiasm can drain your energy and hurt your performance, creating a lose-lose proposition. When work starts affecting your health…physical, mental, or both, consider taking time off. While you conduct your job search, immediately find healthy ways to reduce stress levels.

9. You’re Surrounded by Egregious Behavior. If you’re the victim of bullying, sexual harassment or other egregious behavior, you should certainly keep an eye out for other positions, regardless of what corrective measures you’re taking. Always consult an employment attorney on such issues. But remember that you should never feel uncomfortable in a job, and that may occur in the long run even if you “win the current battle.” Health does comes first.

10. You Feel You Have More to Contribute Elsewhere. You are in a personal growth mode while your position is stagnant. You’ve been thinking in directions that seem miles apart from the work you’re currently doing. You spend your time imagining what your life would be like “if only.” When you know you have more to offer the world, don’t second-guess yourself – get ready for change.

If you’re facing one or more of these red flags, make sure you’re prepared. Know how to leave gracefully and without burning your bridges. You don’t want to be exposed to unflattering tweets or poor references in this world of instant communication.

You Can Conquer Job Stress | Dr. Chip Roper

“You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you—it’s something inherent.” ~Danielle Koepke

If you need a change but feel stuck and are unsure of what to do, you’re not alone. The fear of letting go of a steady paycheck, a predictable routine, and the people and surroundings you have grown accustomed to—warts and all—can be a paralyzing feeling.

The truth is that there will never be an ideal time to say goodbye to your old job and start over. It is almost impossible to create the perfect conditions you think you need in order to start reaching for your career and personal goals. Here’s an analogy: If you believe that every light at every intersection along your journey must be green before you can set out, you’ll be stuck at home forever. The lights are never all green at the same time. That’s just the way life is. But if you venture out to the first intersection and then to the next and then the next, you’ll eventually get to your destination.

Tips Before You Decide to Quit

  • Before you make a decision to quit your job, make sure that you have actually identified the real problem at work.
  • Ask yourself what goals quitting your job will help you achieve. Will the decision to quit bring you closer to your goals?
  • Don’t overestimate or underestimate your capabilities.
  • Give yourself time to think through your decision to quit your job.
  • Make lists. Think of 10 things you can do instead of quitting your job. Then ask yourself if any of those alternatives would be better suited to your current financial or emotional situation.
  • Use mind maps, pens, papers, post-it notes, and file cards to explore your options. Lay the alternatives out on a big table. Move them around. Organize them according to importance.
  • Give yourself credit for making the best decision you can with the information that is available to you.

There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Judging our emotions is like running into the rainstorm with anger and demanding the sun come out—in other words, a total waste of energy. Instead, use this time wisely. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, even if it seems far away. Often, it is much closer than you think. Use these reminders and practical ways to shift perspective to create some much-needed breathing room.

“Dreams can come true, but there is a secret. They’re realized through the magic of persistence, determination, commitment, passion, practice, focus and hard work. They happen a step at a time, manifested over years, not weeks.” – Elbert Hubbard

Be kind to yourself. Minimize the chatter of the inner critic. Unplug from the negativity and chaos of the world and make small steps in the right direction. As you do, celebrate tiny progress along the way while remembering you are worthy and you have plenty of proof to show yourself that.

As time passes, you’ll wake up and back in a thriving state. You’ll wonder what took you so long to get over this feeling and be equipped with a new perspective and empathy.

CC: @Lynn Taylor

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on LinkedIn and Facebook

 

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Great Teams are made of Great Characteristics


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Over the years, as teams have grown more diverse, dispersed, digital, and dynamic, collaboration has become more complex. But though teams face new challenges, their success still depends on a core set of fundamentals. 

All team dynamics are different. Teams depend on the personalities of the members, as well as the leadership style of managers. However, the ingredients for what makes a successful team are similar across the board. Having mutual respect, common and aligned goals, open communication, and patience can all help make for a successful team.

The whole is greater than the sum of its parts”… Aristotle

Much of the work done in many organizations, is done collaboratively by teams. The team is the molecular unit where real production happens, where innovative ideas are conceived and tested, and where employees experience most of their work. But it’s also where interpersonal issues, ill-suited skill sets, and unclear group goals can hinder productivity and cause friction.

To have a great team, there is no surefire recipe for success. A combination of solid leadership, communication, and access to good resources contribute to productive collaboration, but it all comes down to having people who understand each other and work well together. Not every team needs that one superstar player to excel. Having the right mix of trust, ambition, and encouragement among your team members is crucial.

A good team is the foundation for any high-performing business. Superficially, a thriving team looks very much like any other. Here are characteristics to create a great team:

Communication. Arguably the most important component of the group. Effective communication is central to every facet of an organisation. A thriving team has open and honest discussions, sharing their thoughts, ideas and opinions. They engender a meritocracy, ensuring no-one is above anyone else and allowing everyone to feel as though they can contribute freely. Creating this sort of culture is one of the fundamental foundations of a successful team.

Problems that emerge in groups can often be traced back to issues with communication. Poor communication leads to crossed wires which in turn can lead to inefficiencies in performance and even conflict! Effective communication is imperative.

Trust and Respect. Every thriving team relies on a high degree of trust. When you know that your colleagues are reliable and competent, you can trust them to work independently toward the team goal. Knowing each other’s accomplishments and work experience plays a key role in relationship development, the catalyst for a strong team. Before a new team begins work on a project, have them meet for an extended period of time to establish familiarity and to bond. As the teamwork progresses and conflict arises – an unavoidable part of collaboration the team that has respect for each other will be able to move past conflict towards resolution and, ultimately, completion of the goal.

Specialization. Just like a team of athletes working together in different roles to win the game, good teamwork comes from members combining their specialized talents to achieve an end goal or resolution. While one may excel at writing, another may boast superior organizational skills, while another is great at presenting to decision-makers or the art of rhetoric. Figuring out who works best where will come naturally as the team spends time together, but it is important not to suppress individual talents. Allowing each person to make their own unique contributions will lead to less conflict and a superior outcome.

Establishing objective. If the goal of the project, whether small or long-term, isn’t clear from the beginning, many hours will be wasted in frustrating meetings that go nowhere. The very first step should be to describe a clear outline of work and the projected end result. Change is always necessary along the way, and this is where our next tip comes into play. Each individual member is accountable and has responsibility for the team’s overall success.

Let's Work Together

Adaptation. Being flexible is a key trait of any team player. Confronting and resolving crises, rushing to meet deadlines, or picking up the slack for an absent or dismissed colleague are all problems that require adaptation. If someone on a team is unable to change gears and refocus, odds are more issues will arise to further complicate the workflow process.

No finger pointing. When a big mistake is made, it is easy for members of a team to find a scapegoat or individual to lay the blame on. This will only lead to distrust and low morale. It is possible that if one person keeps making critical mistakes, they should no longer be a part of the team, but that is not always the case. The entire team should accept the responsibility for the mistake and move forward to correct it and make sure it does not occur again.

Diversity and Heterogeneity: Thriving teams value diversity. They recognise each individual’s strengths and their preferences to assign tasks, and ultimately to boost performance. Each team member is valued for their unique talents and skills. Collectively, a diverse skill set, way of thinking, experiences, idea generation and problem solving helps to create an effective team and enhance results.

Admission of failure when necessary. This tip can go hand in hand with number five. If the desired outcome of a project has setbacks or is predicted to be a complete disaster, it is better to admit failure and start over rather than giving up or presenting a flawed product. A good team will roll with the punches, recognize that each step is essentially an experiment, and stay positive even when facing serious setbacks.

Patience. Working with others requires the most the most difficult trait of all: patience and tolerance. We all strive for it, but few people are truly unflappable. Patience will keep a team motivated and allay conflict.

Delegation of duties. A capable leader will know one of his most important jobs is to delegate responsibility. One or two team leaders should never be saddled with all the grunt work. Instead the workflow should be spread out evenly and each person given a reasonable amount of projects and adequate access to resources.

A natural-born leader. As noted earlier, a team does not need a superstar to excel. But they do need a self-assured, trustworthy, ambitious leader that keeps morale high and knows when to rally the troops. A good leader will listen constructively, act as a mentor, monitor the quantitative and qualitative results, provide consistent feedback, and maintain a good rapport with all team players.

Competitiveness. A healthy dose of competition is fuel for inspiration. When you are working on a team, all your cards are on the table, so it is easy for people to become jealous or possessive of each other’s attributes or contributions. And this motivates others to work harder and develop even better ideas, because it makes people ask themselves, if he came up with this, can I create something even better?

Manage Conflict.This is an essential component to aiding team growth. It is important that when issues arise they are not avoided or ignored. When managed effectively there are a plethora of benefits to be seen including: the quality of decision-making; improved creativity; increased scope of view; increased participation from team members and more effective communication. It is also important for the team leader to differentiate between a culture of challenge/disagreement and blame/criticism. If the environment empowers team members to challenge one another in a constructive and open manner, then the working relationship within the team is likely to be more creative and productive.

Being in the right team is important for one’s future relevance, because, like in the Aristotle quote, the whole can be more powerful than the sum of its parts. Even if you are a freelancer or a tiny team, you work in collaboration with others – be it the same company or with extended teams of partners. These same ideas apply to those situations as well.

All teams, naturally, are different. All teams, too, will be fluid and evolving structures; people come and go (including team leaders); challenges or priorities change; the dynamic constantly adjusts. To that end, creating a thriving successful is something that, as a leader, is never ‘done’ or completed.

Nevertheless, successful, thriving teams do tend to share a range of characteristics and attributes. To cultivate, share and embed these in your team is now your mission.

Collaboration has become more complex, but success still depends on the fundamentals.

I encourage you to think about this. For further reading, check out Google’s page on these results.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on LinkedIn and Facebook

 

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Misner’s Corollary to Murphy’s Law


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Nearly all of us have heard the term “unintended consequences,” but we may not be aware of how to avoid them. In February 2018, in the publication The Library of Economics and Liberty, Robert Norton wrote, “The law of unintended consequences, often cited but rarely defined, is that actions of people — and especially of government — always have effects that are unanticipated or unintended.”

When we try to make a single change within a complex system, we often end up causing unintended consequences. These can be positive or negative. If we don’t anticipate unintended consequences, we can’t expect to achieve our desired outcomes.

When the unintended consequence of a decision is favorable, there is never an issue. The favorable outcome is considered a bonus. When the unintended consequence is adverse, depending on its impact, the decision-making process is questioned, as is the leader who made the decision.

Sometimes unintended consequences are catastrophic, sometimes beneficial. Occasionally their impacts are imperceptible, at other times colossal. Large events frequently have a number of unintended consequences, but even small events can trigger them. There are numerous instances of purposeful deeds completely backfiring, causing the exact opposite of what was intended.

Many entrepreneurs and executives face unexpected negative consequences after experiencing initial success, such as anxiety over being able to maintain their “winning streak”, fearing that they are being set up to fail, and experiencing the envy others feel towards their accomplishments.

If you ask yourself “What could go wrong with this?” before you launch a new business idea, you can head off some potential problems and increase the chances of a successful launch. But you also need to ask yourself about the possible unintended consequences of success. What if you fix one problem only to create several others?

And you know, the bigger the challenge, the more important it is to check and double-check, to look at what can go wrong and look at what can’t go wrong. And think those through so that you can be a little bit more prepared for a transition that you may have in your own business

For the first time in my life, I learned about “Murphy’s Law” in graduate school. It basically says that “what can go wrong, will go wrong.” Although this law feels very pessimistic, there is value to it. It gives a framework for people to look for the flaws in their thinking. When one does that effectively, it’s easier to address potential issues before they arise.

This leads me to “Misner’s Corollary: Sometimes, what can’t go wrong, will go wrong!” Here’s what I mean by that. When I have introduced something new into my business, I have often thought about what could go wrong with this new approach or idea. If you do that in advance, you truly help to head off challenges. However, what I’ve learned over the years is that you also need to think of what “can’t go wrong.”

I know this sounds crazy and even more pessimistic however if you go about this in a thought-provoking manner — you can truly think through potential challenges before you proceed. In particular, you want to consider, what I call, the “unintended consequences of a seemingly good idea.” This tends to happen when you have a solution to a problem and almost everyone agrees that the solution will definitely help with the problem. You think about how you will roll it out and avoid those things that could go wrong with that rollout and its implementation. You then roll out the idea and all goes well. What we tend to forget, however, is the unintended consequences of that new idea. In other words, the roll-out goes great but then you create a whole new set of problems that never existed and were never considered when dealing with the original problem.

The lesson learnt here — is that when you have a good idea, think about what can go wrong with that idea. If at all possible, test your ideas in advance on a small group of actual customers. They will help point out the things you didn’t think were possible or didn’t think were problems. Then, spend time thinking about what “can’t go wrong.” This means you need to really think outside the box to consider the potential unintended consequences. Most importantly — test the idea in some limited way to identify the things you thought couldn’t go wrong. Believe me when I say, you still might discover unintended consequences. The experimental testing phase is critical to avoid Misner’s Corollary.

Most unintended consequences are just unanticipated consequences. And in the world of consequences intentions often don’t matter.  Intentions, after all, only apply to positive anticipated consequences. Only in rare circumstances would someone intend to cause negative consequences.

So when we make decisions we must ask what the consequences be? This is where having a toolbox of mental models becomes helpful.

What unintended consequences have you experienced from successful business initiatives? Share your experiences and your solutions in the comments.

Source: @BNIpodcast

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 
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Posted by on August 25, 2021 in Technical

 

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How to Be an Inclusive Leader


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

The events of the past 17+ months have made it very clear that organizations and leaders within companies are looking to foster a more inclusive work culture. An inclusive culture is one that accepts, values and views as strength the difference we all bring to the table. Achieving Inclusive culture, isn’t something that can happen overnight, it can happen — by resetting workplace dynamics and implementing inclusive practices with the support of Inclusive leadership.

Building a culture of inclusion isn’t like turning on a light switch. Companies increasingly rely on diverse, multidisciplinary teams that combine the collective capabilities of women and men, people of different cultural heritage, and younger and older workers. But simply throwing a mix of people together doesn’t guarantee high performance; it requires inclusive leadership — leadership that assures that all team members feel they are treated respectfully and fairly, are valued and sense that they belong, and are confident and inspired. 

How inclusion affects your teams

Research from BetterUp shows that 1 in 4 employees don’t feel like they belong. That’s across companies, industries, and demographics. Imagine what it is for underrepresented employees.

When people don’t feel included, the cost is deeply personal. It also hurts the team. They don’t show themselves. They might hold back opposing or counterintuitive ideas and not participate in working sessions for fear of falling further out of the group. They don’t feel comfortable that their ideas and comments will be taken with the same openness and seriousness as anyone else’s. They don’t bring their unique personality, background, and interests into conversation.

They don’t take big risks or achieve big results. They don’t get noticed. They censor themselves. The cost to the team? Employees who feel excluded are 25% less productive on future tasks, have a 50% greater risk of turnover, and are less willing to work hard for the team. 

The feeling of being included comes from all of a person’s interactions, not from policy. Our data shows that the direct manager has the biggest impact. They need to be more deliberate, especially for people who feel demographically dissimilar from others in the organization and experience 27% less psychological safety as a result. 

Only 31% of employees believe their leaders are inclusive. That is, less than a third of employees believe their leaders see, value, and respect them as a whole person. Unwanted attrition, especially among employees from underrepresented groups, is an ongoing problem. Those valuable employees leave, and with them, their potential, as well as the insight about the ways the environment, culture, and leadership aren’t working. 

Most leaders and managers don’t set out intending to exclude others. Yet, in the course of pursuing a goal and relying on sometimes outmoded beliefs about leadership, they fail to get the best out of their teams. Worse, they might not even realize it. 

As you work to become a more inclusive leader, keep these experiences in mind. Not every underrepresented person will have these experiences, of course, but they are common and worth remembering as you work on demonstrating more inclusive behaviors. If individual leaders are inclusive their teams will feel safe and trust them and then they will perform better.

What is Inclusive Leadership?

Inclusive leadership is emerging as a unique and critical capability helping organisations adapt to diverse customers, markets, ideas and talent. An inclusive leader sets the tone and models the behaviors for their team to create an environment where each person feels seen, valued, respected, and able to contribute — in short, where they feel they belong and are included. 

Inclusive leadership is about actively creating an environment in which all members of your team feel empowered to contribute and feel safe to be themselves. While the tactics vary depending on the situation, at a high level, it means demonstrating empathy for team members and customers, advocating for colleagues with less institutional power, increasing your cultural and emotional intelligence, and establishing a culture that values (rather than merely accepts) diverse perspectives.

Diversity is all around us but it is up to leaders to decide whether or not to make full use of the diversity in their organisation. Inclusion is about fostering the structure, culture and mindset in an individual and leader, that enables that person to say, I fit in here, I feel valued, and I can be my true self and do not have to hide parts of my character – and because of this I can contribute to this organisation.

Lots of articles about inclusive leadership list personality traits of inclusive leaders, but that’s not the approach I take here. I believe anyone can (and everyone should) demonstrate inclusive behavior, so I focus on actions that will help develop your inclusive leadership style.

Tips for Becoming a More Inclusive Leader

What can you do to improve your inclusive leadership style? Here are a few places to start:

Reflect

I invite you to start paying attention to your own frame of reference.  Consider how your background affects the way you show up at work. Think about the ways your education, race, gender, age, physical or mental health all come into play. How comfortable are you discussing those things at work? How comfortable are your reports doing the same? 

Build trust

Inclusive leaders trust their people. They are totally committed to ‘we’ before ‘me’. If your people have to trust you as a leader you have to trust them to bring their expertise to work. Fostering trust will enable your people to feel safe and willing to contribute their unique perspectives

Slow Down

In a world where “Move fast, break things” is printed on company walls, it can feel radical to ask someone to slow down. But a few minutes of planning and thought can go a long way. Speed and spontaneity are rarely inclusive—they rely on ingrained habits, not empathy and understanding. Build new, more inclusive habits and you’ll still be able to iterate quickly without asking your underrepresented colleagues to bear the burden. 

Relationship Building

Inclusive leadership cannot be transactional. Inclusive leaders invest time in building real relationships with their team members, peers, and other employees, getting to know what matters to them and what they need to be successful. They know that each employee is a whole person who has more to offer than just the task or output they are delivering today. 

Building relationships goes beyond tolerance or accommodation. Inclusive leaders know the importance of not just being seen, but being understood and appreciated, for their whole self. 

Ask Questions

Don’t be afraid to ask questions: How do you pronounce your name? Am I addressing you the way you’d like to be addressed? How am I doing? Is there anything more you’d like to discuss?  You can’t read your employees’ minds, but you can make the space for discussion to happen.   Tip: Consider anonymous options for collecting feedback, paired with public acknowledgment and commitment to improve—remember, your employees don’t always know if they’ll have backup and may not be willing to share right away.)

Recognition

Inclusion is proactive. Inclusive leaders make an effort to recognize people for their work and support their efforts and growth. That means recognizing specifically and personally the unique contributions of others in ways that are motivating and elevate their sense of personal accomplishment. Individualized recognition and support let employees know that the skills and experiences they’ve contributed and the risks they’ve taken are seen and valued.

Encouraging participation

Inclusion is an invitation, extended day after day. Inclusive leaders use a variety of approaches to seek input and feedback directly from people who might not speak up. and check- in on what people need to be successful. They also stay attuned to obstacles that might get in the way of participation — not just in meetings but in the way work gets done — and look for ways to minimize these obstacles. 

Focus on Culture Add, not Culture Fit 

A diverse team is smarter and does better work. So why focus on whether or not someone also likes craft beer and board games? Reframe the conversation so your hiring plans can look for what new and exciting perspective someone brings to your team. As my own manager Drew Gorton puts it, “If you want better results, surround yourself with people who are meaningfully different from you.” 

Empathy

Creating an inclusive space requires having an appreciation for where others are coming from and what they might be experiencing. Inclusive leaders are warm and encouraging in their interactions, embracing compassion in order to foster deeper connections with others. They make an effort to stay connected to the daily pulse of what is going on for employees and whether they are feeling seen, valued, and respected. When a leader prioritizes empathy and models nonjudgmental behavior, it helps everyone feel more able to share their experiences and state of mind.

Fair

Inclusive leaders treat people equally in terms of opportunity and fairly according to ability. We can only do this if we know our people. Curiosity is a trait of the inclusive leader. One way to check how to be fair is by substitution. Substitute one group for another when you are looking at questions for an interview or the language you are using. 

Social connection

Interactions with other people drive our sense of being included. Inclusive leaders encourage people to recognize each other as humans, not just co-workers or adjoining parts of a process. They create opportunities for people to engage with each other — both in and out of work — to deepen their connections and model the importance of maintaining close personal relationships with supportive people in our lives.

Alignment 

Inclusion means being able to do your best work. Inclusive leaders provide shared vision and clarity to guide others. They set their people up for success and create avenues for contributing to the larger outcome. Inclusive leaders also make space for people to find their own meaning and purpose. When employees know what the organization and team are driving toward and what matters most to the organization’s success, they can better determine how best to contribute. 

Inclusion is not just about diversity. It’s about competitive advantage. And it’s a choice.

Your Role as an Inlusive Leader is Creating Cultures of Belonging Where Everyone Can Thrive.

Remember, Actions Matter 

Your actions as a leader matter. Maybe you’ve never had formal leadership training—many of us haven’t!  Whether or not you intended to end up as a manager, a team lead, or an open-source maintainer, you now hold the power to materially improve the lives of the people around you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t want this power.  As long as you are in a leadership position, it is yours and you can use it for good. 

As leaders we must remember: our teams are watching our behavior to know what is and is not acceptable. If we turn a blind eye to harassment, harassment will flourish. If we turn a blind eye to microaggressions, microaggressions will flourish.  

On the other hand, if we do a good thing, others will follow our example. If we hold ourselves and others accountable, our team will, too. If we take the time to use the right pronouns, or have an inclusive holiday celebration, our team will know it’s okay to do the same. And that’s a magical thing. 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 

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Africa’s Ancient Trees, Surrounded by a Blanket of Stars



Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Beth Moon travels to the ends of the Earth to photograph ancient trees under a breathtaking night sky.

BETH MOON’S images of ancient trees, so stunning in their stature and grandeur, straddle the line between fantasy and reality. For Diamond Nights, she spent many moonless nights in the African bush, making long exposure images of trees shrouded in a blanket of stars and later manipulating the images in her studio.

Vela Baobab in Botswana.

She was inspired by scientific studies that link tree growth to the heavens. The idea was at once romantic and alluring. “The sun is just one star, after all,” Moon says. “That really flipped me backwards.”

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Trees have long been a subject of Moon’s—her book Ancient Trees is a collection of her stunning platinum print images of the largest, oldest, and most storied trees on earth. For Diamond Nights, she decided to embrace digital photography because the images she wanted to make required a pumped up ISO and drawn out exposure time. She originally thought the series would be black and white as well, but found that she couldn’t sacrifice the color.

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The result are images of a sky so brilliant they look as though they’ve been meticulously painted as some childlike, awestruck fantasy of the heavens. The title of each image comes from constellations named by the Greeks and Romans, a nod to the long history of human fascination with these natural wonders.

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I certainly felt small in a very large landscape that seemed to go on forever.

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Moon knew Africa was where she’d find the trees to frame against this celestial backdrop. She spent a month in South Africa, Namibia, and Botswana. “I had my eyes on baobabs and quiver trees,” she says. “They just look like antennas—receptacles of some kind.”

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She worked in total darkness, camped next to these massive trees. Days would pass without Moon seeing anyone other than her guide. “I don’t know if lonely is the right word, but I certainly felt small in a very large landscape that seemed to go on forever,” she says. “I was encouraged to know there are still very remote and very dark places void of light pollution left in the world.”

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Lighting was the trickiest part of her process. Mostly she used a large flashlight to illuminate the trees, bouncing it off whatever was at hand—a large rock nearby or her 10-gallon water tank. She shot exposures up to 30 seconds, and each location proved to have its own challenges she had to work around. Occasional dust storms put shoots on hold—one in Botswana lasted 36 hours and kept Moon tightly zipped inside her tent with her nose in a book.

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Moon has spent many years with trees as her muse. She wants people to pause in their harried lives, and see the wonder in them. “Trees are everywhere,” she says. “We see them every day, so much so that we become so used to them that it’s easy to lose sight of their importance. By choosing these very large and iconic trees as a metaphor I hope to start a larger conversation about our natural world and the way in which we interact with it.”

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The majority of these photographs were created during moonless nights, shot with a wide angle lens and ISO of 3200 – 6400. The Milky Way, a ribbon of stars that stretches from horizon to horizon burns brightly in some of the images. Exposures up to 30 seconds allowed enough light to enter the lens without noticeable star movement. Each location required a lot of experimenting. and different lighting techniques. Sometimes a short burst of diffused light from a flashlight was sufficient, or bounced light from multiple flashlights was used for a softer more natural glow.

Updated 5-14-2019, 5:15 pm: This story has been updated to clarify that the photographer manipulated the images after taking them.

Source, Credit: Wired.com, PHOTO 06.17.2015 10:00 AM

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 

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Niksen: The Art of Doing Nothing


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Everyone wants to be happy. It’s a fundamental human right. It’s associated with all sorts of benefits. We, as a society, spend millions trying to figure out what the key to personal happiness is. The Dutch people are some of the happiest in the world. Their secret? They are masters of niksen, or the art of doing nothing. Do not already start juding the statement. COntinue reading to get clear picture about Niksen.

When I visited Netherlands in 2019, for the first time I heard word “Niksen” the Dutch concept of doing nothing, and thought, “Ah yes, I know this practice well. I do it everyday.” During Pandemic, I got chance to do more research about “niksen” and other wellbeing cocnepts like hygge and lagom .

Niksen

First there was hygge, the Danish concept being cozy and full of contentment. Pronounced “hoo-gah,” this Danish expression is an attitude towards life that emphasizes finding joy in everyday moments. Rather than drudge through the winter, hygge is about celebrating coziness, warmth and family, as well as practicing mindfulness. This tradition is carried down by generations when family members cuddle up in blankets and warm clothing from head to toe and gather by the fireside and candlelight together to enjoy simple pleasures

Then there was lagom, the Swedish mindset of approaching life with an “everything in moderation” mindset. It means “Not too little. Not too much the right amount, and is a philosophy that aims to balance, in every area and juncture of everyday life. Lagom is the secret that explains a lifestyle based on social awareness, moderation and sustainability. Just right.” This term represents their slower-paced, simple life. In Sweden, they value a healthy work-life balance.  

Now there’s another Northern European trend that’s being embraced as a way to combat our increasingly busy and often stressful lives: niksen. The Dutch concept is as simple as, well, doing nothing.    

Niksen is an increasingly popular Dutch relaxation technique where you relinquish control and just … stop. Niksen is not a form of meditation, nor is it a state of laziness or boredom. It’s not scrolling through social media, or wondering what you’re going to cook for dinner. Rather, to niks is to make a conscious choice. 

What is niksen?

The practice promotes taking conscious time to simply do nothing.

Niksen “literally means to do nothing, to be idle or doing something without any use,“. With niksen, which most closely translates as ‘nothing-ing’ in Dutch, you have to be intentional about doing nothing.Stop doing everything right now. Congratulations, you just did a niksen. It is essentially sanctioned daydreaming.

When most of daily life is consumed by the need to maximize productivity, to make the most of our time, the constant stress of this can be daunting. Hence, taking time to be idle might require some mental adjustment as the results of this cannot be quantified or measured.

Instead, we simply feel lighter, less cluttered mentally, and healthier.

Practicing niksen could be as simple as just hanging around, looking at your surroundings or listening to music — “as long as it’s without purpose,”

Niksen enables us to take a step back from whatever we’re doing to just let everything be as it is without being an active participant in it. Ideally, practicing niksen and allowing your brain to wander “can enhance creativity,” benefits of doing nothing?

Why will making sure you regularly do nothing increase your feelings of happiness? Unproductive time can make us healthier and happier, according to science. When we remain idle with no agenda, we turn on the creativity centers in the brain. People experiencing work stress and burnout at a coaching center in the Netherlands reported decreased feelings of stress and increased happiness when they practiced niksen versus when they didn’t practice it regularly.

“It frees up space we use to ruminate so that all that energy that is utilized to focus on doing something can be freed out. We can get room to be more productive and perhaps do [our work] with a calmer, less judgmental approach.”

It’s not mindfulness; a better definition would be a short period of mindless relaxation. 

Whereas mindfulness is about being present in the moment, niksen is more about carving out time to just be, even letting your mind wander rather than focusing on the details of an action.

Niksen is a time without devices, without a screen, without immediate gratification. You’re just able to be.

Not into meditation or mindfulness? Borrow this technique from the Dutch: doing nothing — but with a purpose. I tried it and it was harder than I thought it would be.

Do not ever feel guilty for doing nothing. Being Busy is often seen as the sign of success and  productivity. Is it possible to be productive all the time? . Absolutely not. Sometimes you want to do something but you feel you don’t have that energy. Then you think that you are lazy or you are not productive. Many  are going through such situations where your energy is low and you want to do some work. The mistake that everyone makes is  to force yourself to do that specific task though you feel that you have low energy to do. The output is more stress and anxiety. 

This practice is perfect for anyone who feels overwhelmed, burnt out, or exhausted, NIKSEN does not tell you to work harder. Instead, it shows you how to take a break from all the busyness while giving you sincere, heartfelt permission to do nothing. For Example

  • AT HOME: Find a comfy nook and sit. No technology or other distractions. 
  • AT WORK: Stare at your computer. Take in the view from your office. Close your eyes.
  • IN PUBLIC: Forget waiting for the bus, enjoy some relaxing niksen time.

I encourage you to loosen your concept of time and productivity and practice this simple exercise. Allowing your brain to rewire from stress by doing nothing is a wellness practice worth implementing. If you are sitting in a cafe, you can indulge in some stress-busting niksen but sipping your coffee and looking out the window. Leave your phone in your pocket, and let your mind wander. It’s not mindfulness; a better definition would be a short period of mindless relaxation. 

If you’re not sure where to begin, “start by staring out a window,“. “You don’t have to stay thinking about what you see, but it can be helpful to have a starting point. Begin by simply looking at a tree and then just let the thoughts go where they will.”

Niksen is just one of many ways you can deal with stress. What matters is that you successfully manage work-related stress and not let it negatively affect your health.

If niksen doesn’t work for you, that’s ok. There’s something out there for everyone, just do what feels right for you!

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 

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Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Life is not a Race to WIN… Life is like a Journey , to ENJOY every moment. We are running through life so fast that we forget not only where we have been but also where we are going.

There is no reward for completing the race my friend. Please run at your own speed and run how you like it.

Don’t try to run other’s race. It is your own race run how you like it.

Stop worrying about the consequences. Live in the present, share the glory of being a part of this race. No amount of gold, silver or money will or can compensate what you will miss if you try to rush things and miss the very essence of running.

Don’t just run for the sake of running because running is important and not the race!!

Do not undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Do not set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Do not take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them, life is meaningless.

Do not let your years slip through your fingers by living in the past, nor in the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Do not give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Do not be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; the fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly.

Do not dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.

We have born and brought up in society, where we were prepared to compete with others – your fellow mates and friends. 

The seed had planted when you were at school. The pressure of scoring highest marks, the pressure of performing well in sports, the weight of getting admission into a renown college, getting a good job and again getting into an unhealthy competition at the workplace.

Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.

When you were in college, you wanted a job.

When you got a job in service-based company, You wanted product-based.

When you got 6 LPA package, you wanted 10 LPA.

When you got 15 LPA, You wanted 30 LPA.

When you got 40 LPA CTC, you wanted 40 LPA Fixed.

When you got 50 LPA fixed, You wanted to build a startup.

When you got successful in that, you wanted early retirement.

When you retired early, you wanted unlimited passive income.

When you got everything you ever wanted, You wanted time to enjoy it.

Hence, time is your most valuable asset and it cannot be equated with your earnings. Enjoy your 20s and 30s by both working hard and playing hard. Feel the satisfaction of hitting milestones. The finish line is not really important.

Achieve your own goals ( Not society’s expectations ). You don’t need to prove anything to anyone but yourself.

Nobody is measuring you, they are busy in their lives. You are the only opponent to yourself in this battle.

Running towards the next fulfillment will never be able to find peace in life. It will only lead us distant away from what we’re hoping to feel.

The only way to win the race of life is to realize that, there is no race.

Winning has to be from within us. We need to find happiness within ourselves. True satisfaction can only be observed from inside.

Life is not a race or competition. It’s a journey. Don’t just run after aiming at the finishing line, rather enjoy the ride.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 

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Kanban is awesome but it has to be managed well


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Delivering work in a quick and efficient way could be a challenge. The Kanban Method suggests an approach of managing the flow of work with an emphasis on continuous improvement without overburdening the development team that focuses on productivity and efficiency.

Kanban was initially invented as a way of managing Just in Time (JIT) manufacturing processes. The next chapter in Kanban’s history introduced new principles and practices to make it more efficient for knowledge workers. It is a method designed to help you optimize workflow and use your team’s full capacity. In this article, we will discuss what is the Kanban Method, how to implement it, and what are the most important Kanban analytics charts.

By using Kanban, you can evenly distribute your most important tasks and eliminate any wasteful activity or useless information. The method can help you solve your productivity problems using visual cues that are easy to understand by your team. The Kanban Method is one of the simplest to implement, with no immediate structural changes and prescribed ceremonies. As long as you continuously analyze and manage your flow of work, Kanban can enable exceptional results.

No matter which agile framework is used – Scrum, LeSS or SAFe or other the Kanban Board always helps to make the work progress and impediments of teams visible to everyone and so supports the core agile values – transparency, commitment to do the right things and courage to achieve common goals.

8 Benefits of Using Kanban for Software Development - Kanban Zone Blog

Kanban Principles

The Kanban method is a pull system – this means that work is pulled into the system when the team has capacity for it, rather than tasks being assigned from the top. Kanban can be used to improve processes and workflow efficiency without making any changes to your team structure.

Prior to applying the Kanban Method within your business, it is important to first understand and adopt its fundamental principles:

  1. Start with what you are doing now – Kanban doesn’t require a particular setup and can be applied directly to your current workflow. This makes it easy to implement since there is no need to change your existing processes. The benefits of Kanban are gradual, and any process improvement is adopted over time.
  2. Agree to pursue incremental, evolutionary change – Sweeping changes can unsettle teams, disrupt flow and damage performance. Kanban is designed to incur minimal resistance by encouraging continuous, incremental and evolutionary changes.
  3. Respect the current process, roles, and responsibilities – There should be no organizational changes at the outset. Kanban recognizes that existing processes, roles, and responsibilities may have value and are worth preserving. Instead, Kanban encourages incremental change to avoid emotional resistance.
  4. Encourage acts of leadership at all levels – Kanban promotes leadership and decision making between all members. If the lowest-ranked team member has a bright idea, it should be acknowledged and embraced. Everyone should be fostering a mindset of continuous improvement (Kaizen) – in order for your workers to reach optimal performance.

The structure of a Kanban board

A Kanban board is one of the most practical tools that you can use to manage your projects in a simple and clear way. Kanban can help you visualize and maintain your tasks and workflows, signaling potential bottlenecks for each project or workflow stage. This is why they are used by several agile in-office and remote teams across the world to manage tasks with flexibility.

There are many Kanban boards online that you can use to balance your resource demands. You might already know about other tools such as Trello or Kanban Tool, but you must be aware that Kanban boards are most effective when they are part of a more advanced project management software. Such platforms can help you track time and maintain real-time collaboration with your team.

With Kanban, you can limit the number of tasks that are allowed for each stage to avoid overloading your employees or leaving them with no tasks. Likewise, Work in Progress (WIP) limits can be set for a more effective workload distribution among your team members. This guarantees that each task will be completed before the team moves on to the next one and that the focus on the “In progress” tasks is never lost. You can also turn the completion of a task into a priority to get a better idea about your overall workflow.

A basic Kanban board, be they physical or virtual, are created using these three main elements:

Kanban for software development

Kanban Board: 10 basic rules how to use it in an effective way

Kanban boards were first used in the late 1940s at Toyota’s factories to balance supplies with production. Workers could share the inventory levels of materials through a card named “Kanban” (meaning “signboard” in Japanese). Each card had the requirements for the necessary materials written on it and would then be moved to the warehouse were instructions were carried out. This helped teams communicate easily across the entire manufacturing process.

Now Kanban is used to visualize and speed up your project’s workflow, improve team collaboration, and identify possible obstacles. 

Even though the look, structure and usability of the Kanban Board is well known the rules how to apply it effectively in order to unfold its full potential is something left for teams to find out.

Rule #1: Keep it simple

If you use the Kanban Board for the first time start with the basic structure with columns To Do, Doing, Done which everyone understands and is able to intuitively assign tasks to. Once you get acquainted with this basic structure you may thing of extending it by additional categories given that these categories add a real value – help the team to remove impediments faster and perform tasks more effectively.
Use simple plain language without abbreviations and “team jargon“ when you define tasks. This will make the Kanban Board to a universal tool for reports and communication across across teams and hierarchy levels.

Rule #2: Common structure and level of details across all teams

Use the same Kanban Board structure (column definition) agreed at the rule #1 across all teams.If a team suggests to introduce a new category (column) align with all teams if this category makes sense for everyone. If it is accepted as a common value-adding category adjust the common Kanban Board structure accordingly. Otherwise commonly refrain from it.

Rule #3: Manage flow – By observing and analyzing flow efficiency, you can identify any problem areas. The main goal of implementing Kanban is to create a smooth workflow by improving the lead times and avoiding delays. You should always strive to make your process more efficient.

Rule #4: Agree on a time box

Even though the original Kanban methodology does not apply time-boxing to the work visualization but rather see is as a continuous flow, we recommend to do so. A common agreement on a certain time box with duration from one to four weeks – applied to the categories To-Do, Doing, Done and valid for all teams helps to achieve the same level of details in task definition across multiple teams. „Speaking the same language“ simplifies integration and synchronizes the deliverables of teams. Keep the time box duration fixed unless all agree to change it for an important value-driven reason.

Rule #5: Revise it regularly

Revise the Kanban Bard on a regular basis: Plan the „To-Do“ list for the next time at the end of the current time box by moving the parked tasks from the „Backlog“ column and not-completed tasks of the current time box from the „Doing“ column to the „To-Do“ column. Always keep the status of all tasks up to date at so that the Kanban Board can serve as a tool of transparency and work synchronization. Move a planed task from the „To-Do“ column to the „Doing“ column when you started the task and from the column „Doing“ to the „Done“ column when you completed the task on a daily basis.
Keeping the Kanban Board up to date is not a responsibility of a single person such as Scrum Master, Team Lead or similar. It is a responsibility of each team member who execute tasks.

Rule #6: Improve collaboratively – Kanban requires constant evaluation, analysis, and improvement. When teams have a shared understanding of the process, they are more likely to reach a consensus should any problems arise. The Kanban Method suggests that various models of scientific approach are used to implement continuous, incremental, and evolutionary changes.

Rule #7: Accessible to everyone

The Kanban Board should be placed so that everyone who is involved in task execution, planning and revision as well as all stakeholders can easily see it anytime they like. This helps to avoid status requests from stakeholder and saves the team’s time for productive work.

When you work with an analog Kanban Board it should be placed in a room where everyone has access to and the most people have the shortest way to reach it. A digital Kanban Board should be stored in a shared folder (e.g. Sharepoint) with the write access for the team working and a read access for stakeholders.

Rule #8: Purpose over tools

When you use the Kanban Board for the first time, start with an analog board on a wall. The reason for this lies in the rule of simplicity. All tasks are posted as post-its on the wall. This gives you a good overview and helps to draw your attention to relevant tasks. There are several good tools on the market such as Jira Agile BoardTrello etc. which not only provide basic Kanban Board features but also allow to track the progress with fancy customizable reports, e.g. Burn-Down charts, Average task duration, Number of tasks in status „Doing“ and „Done“ by team assignment, Number of tests planed vs. completed within a time box.

Rule #9: single south of truth

Avoid creating several Kanban Boards when you can achieve your goal with just one. Duplicating Boards and tasks leads to either extra effort for the team of keeping the boards in sync or to a disconnection of the tasks between two boards. The impact of the disconnection may be huge – from misinformation and misunderstandings to confusions and delays.

Rule #10: Visualize workflow – The first and most important task is to understand the current flow of work – what is the sequence of steps to execute in order to move an item from request to a deliverable product. This is done using a Kanban board with cards and columns: each column represents a step in your workflow, and each card represents a work item. Every item moves through the flow from start to end. By observing this process, you can easily track progress and identify bottlenecks in real-time.

Rule #11: team achievement over personnel achievement

Do not assign and track a task to a person, rather assign it to a team. The team should be able to complete the task independently from other teams or managers.

Doing it on a team level encourages the team spirit and mutual support and establishes psychological security which is inevitable for the success of a project.

Rule #12: Make process policies explicit – The process should be clearly defined, published, and confirmed for everyone in the team: people won’t feel motivated to be part of something unless they think it will be useful. When everyone is aware of the explicit policies, each person can suggest improvements that will improve your performance.

Rule #13: continuous improvement

Brainstorm with all teams at least once in a quarter what can be improved about your Kanban board and implement improvement measures which are value-adding for the team.

Rule #14: Use feedback loops – In order for the positive change to occur, regular meetings are necessary to provide essential feedback to the entire team. The frequency of these meetings varies, but the idea is that they are regular, at a fixed time, and that they get straight to the point.

Rule #15: make these rules be known and agreed by everyone

A great rule which nobody knows, the reason for which nobody understands makes it just а deadweight. A rule which is known and understood by everyone moves mountains.

Assure that everyone who starts working with a Kanban Board understands the commonly agreed rules and is given a possibility to contribute to their further improvement.

References: Agilon GmbH, Nave, Paymo

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1)

 
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Posted by on June 21, 2021 in Technical

 

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Power of your Wasted Efforts


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Probably every person has the same feeling every time they go out into the field, that will they be able to deal with the “fear of rejection”?

We all know that there will always be many more rejections compared to our successes and achievements. However, we grapple with the fear of rejection many times which leads to doubting our own capabilities. In the last 15 years with a career in Quality Assurance, I have acknowledged that along with the fear of rejection.

The journey that I have been making did not started in a high-end car but more like on bicycle. Its a very very special journey from a village kid who is Milk Vendor( person who used to sell MILK by going to each house) in a village to Qulaity Manager in London,  developing teams, implementing effective QA Practices. It is all possible, only by accepting Fear of Rejection and understanding The Law of Wasted Efforts

Do you know that lions only succeed in a quarter of their hunting attempts — which means they fail in 75% of their attempts and succeed in only 25% of them.

Despite this small percentage shared by most predators, they don’t despair in their pursuit and hunting attempts.

The main reason for this is not because of hunger as some might think but it is the understanding of the “Law of Wasted Efforts” that has been instinctively built into animals, a law by which nature is governed.

Half of the eggs of fish are eaten… half of the baby bears die before puberty… most of the world’s rain falls in oceans… and most of the seeds of trees are eaten by birds.

Scientists have found that animals, trees, and other forces of nature are more receptive to the law of “wasted efforts”.

Only humans think that the lack of success in a few attempts is failure… but the truth is that: we only fail when we “stop trying”.

Success is not to have a life free of pitfalls and falls… but success is to walk over your mistakes and go beyond every stage where your efforts were wasted, looking forward to the next stage.

Life can be a rocky road; the challenge is not to let it grind you into dust, but to polish you into brilliant gem.

I learn from my mistakes or failure and move on & the fact is our expectation towards life to be perfect and in a better way and my way is the biggest reason for our unhappiness. So friends we need to understand the law of impermanence of nature & I keep saying for many people that after each sunny day there has to be dark night and night is also good because you are able to get good sleep, rest well when there is a night. If you want to see a full moon to come again it has to pass through no moon right? and if you want to see the rainbow this summer…is it possible? you have to wait for the rain to come + the sun to shine to see the rainbow.

Again friends, in this imperfection of nature there is perfection. Stop taking your failures to your heart and making it so huge and get hurt deeply & mess the whole life. Believe that it is just the cycle which u need to pass through & that’s part of your life. However, get conscious not to take too much time to bounce back & learn how to decide quickly & it is not uncertain situations but an uncertain mind that often leads to failure. So believe in nature and prepare yourself because even failures cannot be permanent.

I agree 100% this feeling `fear of failure or rejection’ would still bother your subconscious mind. Just see around the journey of life, instances like a mother giving birth; the child growing; when the child starts going to school; getting admission to school; when the student working on his final year; employee of his project deliverables; getting into relationship & every instance there exists a fear.

so I want you to be aware consciously & get ready to get absorbed to deal with the fear of failure or rejection.

BTW, get ready there will always be many more rejections compared to our success and achievements. Let’s grapple with this which leads to self-doubt about our own capability and knock this off to get better. I acknowledge whenever I failed or got rejected for my projects, I appreciate the process I focus on learning and continue with never give up attitude and that’s what `Law of Wasted Efforts’ is all about.

I have to share a few exemplary leaders’ examples here:-

  • Apple will be the top brand when it comes to phones and the then CEO Steve Jobs was once a College dropout, fired from his own company & then succeeded in becoming a CEO of Apple again & he’s known as a master of innovation.
  • I’m sure we have grown up in this childhood story, hearing to Thomas Alva Edison story where his teachers told him he’s too stupid to learn anything and he failed thousand times while inventing the lightbulb and he turned out to be a winner of 22 Academy Awards
  • For all our cricket fans – MS Dhoni, one of the greatest cricketers initially played badminton and football, & he took up the job of a train ticket examiner in the Indian railways as he hails from a lower-middle-class family & today Mahendra Singh Dhoni is the captain of Indian Cricket Team and his records are the best among all Indian captains to date and his leadership style has become learning for aspiring leaders.
  • Coming to politics – Dr. A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, has faced many odds in his path. He started working at an early age by distributing newspapers after school & he had average grades in his schooling. From there on, Dr. Kalam joined thee Aeronautical Development Establishment of Defense Research and Development Organization (DRDO) as a scientist and went on to head the organization as an Indian scientist and he also became the 11th President of India.

There are 100’s of examples around us and look at all successful people around you from Amitabh Bachchan to Albert Einstein, Henry Ford, Walt Disney , Ratan Tata, Dhirubhai Ambani, Narayan Murthy, Sachin Tendulkar and observe all other successful people around you. They have failed multiple times before becoming successful in whatever profession they are in.

BTW, get ready there will always be many more rejections compared to our success and achievements. Let’s grapple with this which leads to self-doubt about our own capability and knock this off to get better. I acknowledge whenever I failed or got rejected for my projects, I appreciate the process I focus on learning and continue with never give up attitude and that’s what `Law of Wasted Efforts’ is all about.

So I finally understood that whether it’s about surviving in nature or hunting as a predator or playing the game or building an IT giant company, this awareness of wasted efforts made these people sharper, better, richer to ultimately succeed in reaching their goals.

To conclude,

You can halt or take rest momentarily but you cannot say QUIT, because success does not come after a few attempts of failure; you need to keep trying, never give up till you succeed, so learn to grow in your life at each stage and go beyond by understanding the Power of your Wasted Efforts.

Also, let’s agree that all of us are vulnerable to faults, we have our own weaknesses, and failures will happen. Don’t shy away from owning your mistake or failure. When it happens believe that that you are wiser today than you were yesterday as you have enhanced your knowledge in this process.

If there is a phrase that summarizes this world, it will simply be: continue all over again.

The universal success secret mantra for Law of Wasted efforts will simply be `Learn from Failure… Take Action… Don’t Quit… Continue! all over again….. until you Succeed!

Refrences: plyinsight, Prajvitha Knowledge, LinkedIn

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1).

 

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Leadership Starts with Simply Being a GOOD Person


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

It doesn’t matter if you are running a business, managing a team, or teaching a class–leadership skills are important. Some people seem to be born knowing what to do to inspire and lead people, but for most of us it doesn’t come that naturally.

Being good is all about our core VALUES as a person.  Every one of us has a set of core values.  Our values have been built from a young age into adulthood.  From day one, the people that have raised us, our parents, relatives, guardians, and friends, have been IMPRINTING values upon us.  When you were young and impressionable, you were just young and impressionable. 

Not everyone will become a great leader, but everyone can become a better leader.

What makes some people excel as leaders often feels shrouded in mystery. You can read about leadership, research it, and talk about it, yet the interest in leadership alone will not necessarily teach you how to be a good leader.

You will have more information than the average person, but learning effective leadership is lifelong work. It requires experience – and lots of it. Most importantly, it requires observation and a commitment to action.

Remember words like these: “Show respect for your sister; that type of behavior may be okay for your friends, but not you; do your chores, everybody does their role in this family.” Those words instilled the values of respect, strength, and hard work. Take a minute and reflect on words you may remember from your childhood. Now let’s fast forward from your childhood to, if appropriate, parenthood. As a parent, have you ever heard your parents voice come out of you as you talk to your kids?  Most parents have, and it’s cute and scary all at the same time. 

In living and leading a fearless life, values are an integral part of navigating and overcoming fear.  In life, when things are good our values are beneficial and positive. However, when a crisis strikes, tragedy sets in, a roadblock is thrown up, and the value of your values skyrockets. I’ve always felt that you learn more about a person when the chips are down. During challenging times our values can be our bedrock, our lightpost and something that carries us through the challenge. 

It is really interesting to reflect back on the first global crisis I had to lead a company through.  It was September 11th and I was in the middle of a capital raise to keep our company alive.  It was also on the heels of the Internet Bubble bursting.  I was leading a struggling tech company in Silicon Valley that was running out of money and America just got hit by terrorists.  In fact, on September 11th we had investors from New York and Chicago in our offices in California and we became their hosts for over a week as all planes were grounded. 

In the face of adversity, the values that immediately struck were STRENGTH, COURAGE and FAITH.  Just a day earlier the company relied on its own strength, but today the company needed mine.  Everyone was shaken, and I don’t mean professionally.  We were all shaken personally and as Americans we were literally numb. As a company we pulled together for our employees, served our clients, but more importantly served our community, all while we were struggling and running out of cash.  We were courageous in the face of fear and had faith that if we did the right things, good things would happen to us. We made it through September 11thstronger as a company and closer as a family.  And our Fearless Leadership was rewarded with a successful capital raise and the company stayed in business and grew. 

The lessons I learned during that crisis I have been able to apply at other times in my career – during the financial meltdown of 2008-2009 and most recently during the global pandemic we are all experiencing. In all of these instances, I have lived and learned that simply waking up and being a good person is perhaps the biggest part of being a steady and consistent leader during troubled times.

Final Thoughts

Learning how to be a good leader, first and foremost, is an inside job. You must focus on growing as a person, regardless of the leadership title that you hold. You cannot take others where you yourself have not been. So focusing on yourself, regardless of your time or where you are in your career, will have long term benefits for you and the people around you.

Being a Fearless Leader is built on being a good person and living your core values. Values are great in good times, and they are literally the super-glue during the tough times. 

Author: Brendan P. Keegan

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1).

 
 

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She is ShanvikaPrawin


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Father means so many things. An understanding heart, a source of strength and of support right from the very start. A constant readiness to help in a kind and thoughtful way, with encouragement and forgiveness no matter what comes your way. A Father means so many things

ShanvikaPrawin, you are a princess in my heart, and I care for you so much.I love the fondness in you eyes and your tender little touch. A father loves a daughter is like no other love on earth. From the day that I first meet you nothing can compare your worth.

I looked at you when you were born and knew then straight away that I would be altogether a different person from that day. You bring to me a heart of joy and memories so great and a powerful sense of fatherhood that no one can debate.

Whom should I thank?
God or my destiny,
For the gift of lovely daughter in my life,
You are an angel for me now,
I don’t think without you,
You are the beat of my heart,
You have been special right from the start,
You are the sun that shines,
You are light of the moon,
You are so kind,
You are my beautiful daughter,
You are one of a kind!
With you in my life,
Everything is so perfect and right,
You are my life my sweet little daughter,
There is no one like you,
No one another!
Thanks for coming in my life!

In today’s world, fathers have become more influential and inspiring on a daughter’s upbringing. Daughters are sweet and playful by nature; hence, they need someone that will guide them along the way, and fathers one of the best persons to keep them on track. Though there are times when the father’s role in a daughter’s life is often overlooked as they tend not be as communicative and insightful as the mothers, these strong men are very potent and kind. 

Having a fatherly figure makes file more tolerable and comfortable. A positive father and daughter bond creates a win-win situation to both fathers and daughters. For the daughters, it can help them develop into a strong, positive and mature woman. Fathers seemingly builds their daughter’s self-esteem and self-image, as well as their views on men. A father may not be the perfect model, but he is good enough in his daughter’s eyes. And from then, seeing a daughter turn into a mature women with good values and right skill, fathers become very grateful of the whole fatherhood process.

My Daughter means the world to me a big wide world for her to see. She grows a little more each day and I’ll be here always, to guide her way. She blooms and grows like a flower. Little by little, hour by hour.One day I’ll look and she’ll be grown and start a life out on her own. But for the time, she’s with me now, so I can teach and show here how.

All fathers are not fortunate enough to spend time with their kids and show their love. Unfortunately I am one among them.

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.

Father – Daughter’s inspiration, Son’s aspiration

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin1).

 

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Resignation is not a CRIME


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Employee Resignation, we know it is inevitable in any organization. Sooner or later, even the best employer has employees resign. The reasons are endless for what causes an employee resignation. But, each employee resignation poses the employer with the same series of questions. Unexpected resignations present big challenges for leaders, managers especially those unaccustomed to dealing with them. It’s probably a frustration you haven’t had for a whileand if you’re a relatively new manager, you might not have ever experienced this before.

As our team members grow in their careers, they may branch out beyond what is available to them in their current role or company. Sometimes, what they are looking for next isn’t something we can offer.  I agree, It’s a dreadful moment when a well-liked member of your team tenders their resignation. You experience a cocktail of emotions ranging from fear about how the rest of the team will react.

illustration-large-resignation-letter Read the rest of this entry »

 
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Posted by on January 22, 2020 in Experiences of Life., Work Place

 

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A daughter may outgrow your lap, but not your heart


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

I am a KING, not because i have a kingdom, but as I have a Daughter who is PRINCESS of my World. Of all the titles I’ve been privileged to have, ‘Dad’ has always been the best.

From my childhood I spent most of my life in the arms of many wonderful women, but for first time, I hold a little angel (ShanvikaPr@win) close to my HEART and she proudly calls me Prawin. When she says ‘Daddy I need you!’ I wonder if she has any idea that I need her billion times more. Having a daughter makes me see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don’t care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don’t mind.

Shanvika, hours I spend with you in a day may be limited, but my thoughts for PicsArt_08-18-05.35.48you are  unlimited and my love is unconditional. You make me very proud to be your Father. I know that our relationship is not completely perfect, but I love that it’s strong and real. I love you, sweetheart. With every day that passes, you only grow more beautiful in my eyes. I admire your heart of gold. I love you very much! I Adore your Smile, I Cherish your Hugs, I Admire your Heart, But Most of All I Love that you are My Daughter. Never forget that I Love you till my last breath. Life is filled with hard times and good times. Learn from everything you can. Be the woman I know you can be.

The bond a father and daughter share is special and irreplaceable. To every father, his Daughter is a gift from heaven who is like sunshine to a day. She fills fathers heart with pleasure, a joy to always treasure! Not only does a girl’s relationship with her father shape her childhood experience, but it will also influence how she interacts with men in her adult years. If a father is absent or erratic in his behavior, this sets his daughter up for feelings of low self-esteem and trouble with trusting men in general. All parents should appreciate the importance of understanding the father’s role in his daughter’s life, as his presence (or absence) will play a role in her self-image and well-being for decades to come. Daughters can bring so much meaning to your life and make you the happiest you have ever been. Below are some of the traits every father should possess.

Teach your Daughter That She Is Worthy of a Respectful Partner: A father who treats his daughter – and his daughter’s mother – with respect is sending a clear message that women deserve good treatment from the men in their lives. This can make all the difference when his daughter begins dating. If she is used to positive support and kind behavior, she is less likely to tolerate it from abusive dates and partners.

IMG_20190818_182623Make Time for your Daughter, No Matter How Busy you are: One of the most important things a father can do is simply show that he is willing to be around. He should make the effort to attend special events at his daughter’s school, engage her in conversation, and take an interest in all areas of her life. This will build her self-esteem and let her know that she is a worthwhile individual.

Remind Your Daughter That She Is Beautiful Inside and Out: There is nothing wrong with telling your daughter that she is pretty, but remember to tell her how much you value her intellectual abilities and character. This will prevent her from relying on her looks to carry her through life and from placing too much value on what others think of her face and body.

Inspire your Daughter to Reach Her Goals: A father should encourage his daughter to follow her dreams and show her that he believes she has what it takes to succeed. Girls habitually look to both parents for guidance and support, so fathers must make the effort to inspire their daughters whenever possible

Enjoy Activities Together: Healthy activities such as walking, biking and swimming are a great way of building memories and teaching your daughter that exercise is an important habit. Keeping fit will help her maintain a good body image, which will be a real asset as she develops into a teenager.

Be Consistently Loving but Firm : Daughters who do not receive affection and approval from their fathers are likely to seek it elsewhere as teenagers and adults, and this may lead to an unhealthy dependency on men. Fathers can prevent this happening by telling their daughters how special and loved they are, whilst maintaining appropriate levels of discipline and upholding firm boundaries.

Always Treat your wife Well, Even If you Are Not Together: If a daughter witnesses her father treating her mother poorly, she will receive negative or mixed messages about how men and women relate to one another. Even if you are not with her mother, always take the high road and act in a civil manner.

Take your daughter on Special Trips and Outings: Let your daughter feel special by  IMG_20190818_182553making the time to take her out on a regular basis. A simple trip to the park with a picnic is enough to show her that you care enough to make her a priority. Take the opportunity to show her how men should treat women – with respect and dignity. Engage her in conversation and talk to her as an equal.

Model a Respectful Attitude Towards Women : A good father does not make sexist jokes or speak disrespectfully about women. He has the intelligence to realize that his daughter’s self-image will suffer if he does so, and knows that it is important to uphold the idea that women are of equal value to men

Know When to Ask for Forgiveness: No father can be perfect all the time. When you mess up, explain how you plan to do better next time and tell her that you are sorry. For example, if you accidentally miss her piano recital, plan an outing to make it up to her. Ask for her forgiveness and learn from your mistakes.

I request every father, kindly treat you Daughter the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.

Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person. In my career, there’s many things I’ve won and many things I’ve achieved, but for me, my greatest achievement is my children and my family. It’s about being a good father, good Son, a good grandson, a good husband, a good brother, good friend, a good colleague and a good fellow human just being connected to every of my well-wishers  as much as possible.

Today is my little angel ShanvikaPr@win birthday. Kindly bless her and wish her to have a wonderful life. 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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Daddy’s Little Girl ✿ ✿ ✿


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by Cute Daughter of a Lovely father…

Dear Dad,

I’d like to take a minute or two to express my never-ending gratitude for all that you do.

Dad You are my guide, friend, teacher, well wisher, teacher, opponent, strength, weakness. You are everything to me. I’d like to hold your hand till my last breath.

Love You Dad

Being a father is no easy task. A father makes a huge impact on his daughter’s life. He is the first man she says “I love you” to, and the first man to really show her what love is.

To be honest, I can’t remember a time when you weren’t there for me — not only as a father, but as a best friend. As a child, you were my favorite playmate.

From teaching me how to walk or throw a ball, you’ve showed me ways to stand on my own two feet. A dad’s job is not only to protect his little girl, but also to show her how to defend herself when, one day, he is not around.

As much as I want to thank you, I also want to apologize. Raising a teenage girl might be one of the biggest challenges a father goes through. Speaking from my own experience, I’m sorry for any grey hairs I’ve caused you in the past.

Even though we don’t always understand each other, you’re one of the biggest influences in my life.

A father is the one who guides his daughter through life.

Whether it was a school play, sporting event, graduation or any defining moment in my life, you’ve always been one of my biggest fans. Wherever I end up, I hope I make you proud.

Thank you for offering your shoulder to cry during hard times. You comforted me without even saying anything; you put your arm around me and opened your ears to all of my jumbled words and tears. Thank you for patience.

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Thank you for being exactly who you are to my mother, so that I can know in the inner strings of my heart that love exists and that I will find it for myself. Even in my own life when I lost hope, you showed me that love is the strongest force in the universe. Thank you for teaching me to never let go once I find it, and fight for it when I need to.

Every little girl grows up looking up to her dad, but I’ve never stopped. I know there’s no such thing as a perfect dad, but you come pretty close.

I can’t write any more. The tears are falling and the ink is fading. I haven’t really been myself lately​

Thank you for believing, for hoping, for smiling, for laughing, for teaching, for loving, for supporting, for showing, and for praying. In short, thank you for everything. 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced , you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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Proud To Be Your Daughter


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by Daughter of a Lovely Father…..

 The greatest gift I ever had, Came from God; I call him Father!  

He didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.

There will always be a few people who have the courage to love what is untamed inside us. One of those men is my father.

Who Is A Father?            DSC00444

A Father is someone who
wants to catch you before you fall
but instead picks you up,
brushes you off,
and lets you try again.

A Father is someone who
wants to keep you from making mistakes
but instead lets you find your own way,
even though his heart breaks in silence
when you get hurt.

A Father is someone who
holds you when you cry,
scolds you when you break the rules,
shines with pride when you succeed,
and has faith in you even when you fail…

My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me

FATHER I take this opportunity to say
BIG Thank you for what you have made
my life to be from the word go to this time.
I say thank you Father.
Happy Father’s Day 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced , you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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I am Because of you, Father


 

All My Dear Readers,

I am very much thankful to all of you for the tremendous response that you gave, to share your opinion and experiences with your father. It’s an attempt made to come out with an Article, which is nothing but the collection of mails i got from you all. I got hundreds of mails and still I am receiving them. Unfortunately I am unable to publish all the mails that i have got. I expect this kind of support from you all forever. This blog is not individual’s, Anyone can share their expertise & experiences of their life, to the outer world………

This article is dedicated to all the people, who are leading their life in the memories, of their lost ones. Recently i have lost my both the grand parents, who used to pamper me like a kid even at this age. I can’t forget the moment’s that i spent with them. I spent most of my life time with them..

What does father mean?  What does your father mean to you? What is his Role in your Life? What attachment you have? How did he shape you? What do fathers mean to our society, our culture, our nation? What would you change about the way we think about fathers?

The word father may mean different things for different people. To some it may bring the picture of love, laughter, respect, power, authority etc. To others it may mean fear, rejection, disappointment and failure. 

I don’t get exact words to describe father, he is everything in an individual’s life.

  • F-Forever loving
  • A-At my side when I need him
  • T-Talks and listens to me
  • H-Hears my cries & happiness
  • E-Easy-going and fun
  • R-Risks anything to please our family.

A true father will get down to the level of his children; engaging in “their” world with a heart full of love, care and concern not for what they do, but because they are his own; a gift given to him by almighty. He exercises patience in times of rebellion and yet spurs his children on to become who they are called to be; what they are capable of becoming in their life.

“Sita (Orphan School Student)

When my Dad was dying, I was with him, I was terrified. I am 8 years kid, I didn’t know how to act, what to say, so I sat in silence. He asked me, “Aren’t you going to give me a hug?” When we hugged, he started to cry. That memory has broken my heart ever since.  I don’t have anyone, my mother left me with my father, when I was 5 months old.  After my father’s death I was joined in this Orphan School.

“Sanjay ( Medical Representative)

Ten years ago on February 14 th 2002 was one of the worst days of my life. I received a call telling me my father was dying and to come quick. I flew to the hospital, but I failed to see him alive.

” Prasithan ( DJ)

My father who is 67 years old, died suddenly of a heart stoke at the dinner table in 2009. I still remember his last looks, which asked me to save him. At that time i was scared & helpless. By the time I recovered from shock, he left me alone in this world. He left his last breath in my hands. I hug him and cried through out the night, because I know that he is no more.

After all this time it still hurts to talk about it and I have been through a lot of self-medicating and therapy to get on with my life.

“Nirmala (My Mother)

I don’t find any words, which can be used to speak about my father. The only thing I can tell you is father should be like My Father. My age is around 50; I lost my father in the year 2011. Before your father came into my life, my life is my Father. After that your father became a part of my life.

If, I recall the moments that made happy before, now I get cry, because my father is no more.

I was married 28 years back with your father, but till now my father is my driving force. What do I mean is?

To a Women husband is important, more than that father’s love is important.

To whatever heights we move, we are still kids to our parents. Never hurt your parents through your actions, behavior, words, attitude through any means, because they will never tell that you are hurting them.

Venkata Seshagiri Rao Ongole (QA Manager)

My father is everything to me, He is my Strength & he is my Weakness. Not only that, He is my best friend, philosopher, guide and more over he is my Role Model. He has got Tons of patience; he never loses his temper on any critical issues. And he is an excellent yoga guru.

The most unforgettable moment in my life is when he told me “Giri I have confidence in you, you can achieve anything in life. I am not worried of your future. “By listening his words, I really felt happy. From childhood he trusted me a lot. I used to feel very comfortable with him.

Due to my job and my responsibilities, I am missing him badly. I make it a point to talk to him, listen to him as long as he wishes to talk. I wish I was with all through.

In my opinion Father is guide to their future journey of his children.I am very much fortunate to have such a father.

 “Manjula Devi (House Wife)

Like millions of people, I grew up in a single parent household. I lost my father in the early age of my life. When I was in schooling, I lost him. He is the Hero in my life. The most influential person in my life is probably not even aware of the things he has taught me or of how much he has affected my existence.

This person has always been in my life, from the day I first opened my eyes to the moment he left our family alone in this worthless world. He is a protector, well wisher, teacher, a guide, and a source of strength and support. He is whom I look up to with loving trust and pride. With a willing hand to lend, he is a helper; an adviser .He showed me the stars and taught me how to reach them. This person means the world to me, so who is this influential person in my life? He is my one and only father.

 “Chandini (A Hijra)

When my parents came to know I was Hijra, they sent me out of house. At that time one Human God took me into his arms. At that small age I don’t know what to call him, he said “I am your father, I feel happy if you can call me Father”.  

All these years no one listened my hearts cry, except my god i.e. My Father. He was truly one in a Hundred million and I’m so lucky to have had him as my Dad. I thought I’d always appreciated him when he was alive but now he’s gone I look back and realize I had no idea how blessed I was to have him around. It would have been Dad’s birthday in a few weeks. I’ll probably cry my eyes out but I want to do something positive to celebrate his life. That’s what Dad would want.

Now I don’t know how to face humans. Really I am so scared of you all. Please give us a chance to live, I want to live. Please………

Spare a thought and a smile to us; we expect nothing more from so called Humans.

“Menon (BE student)

 It is true that not every man or husband will be a father and not every husband who has children will be a good father. Many fathers have many children but have failed in the responsibility of fathering them. We have also seen or read about men and husbands who were unable to have children but have been exemplary fathers? Fatherhood is a great gift. It is a precious gift from God who considers godly family and rising of children to be the utmost priority in the world 

A fulfilled father is not determined by the number of children he has and how successful they were, a father is fulfilled when he has sacrificed to nurture, instruct and raise his children in a way that brings honor and glory to the giver.

The first and probably the most important purpose for fathers are to build strong and fortified families. 

 Fathers are called not only to love and lead their wives but also to love their children without partiality and to raise them with care, compassion, courage and common sense.

“Nikhila (Lecturer)

“The road leading up to success can be bitter, but its result is sweet.” His teachings have made me who I am today. Every moment I think of him. How can someone replace my father, who is everywhere in life and who is life. I lost him in a road accident in the year 2002.

“Vincent (Priest)

My father is the God father of my life. He is the greatest gift to me and my family. He has shown the approach towards life. I have gained not only knowledge, but have applied his teachings to my life. Because of the example he has set for me, my father has provided the steppingstone I need to achieve my goals so that I can lead a happy and successful life. He gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person; he believed in me.

“Chaitankya Kumar( My Student )

Today is my Dad’s birthday prawin. If he was still alive he would have been 56. He passed away almost 2 years ago … and while he was very fortunate to live for as long as he did due to poor health … I still miss him.. I want to see him once. If God exists really, he should show me. I don’t know what I am alive from the day he left me.

“RamBabu (Farmer)

I lost my father 4 years back. My father is not an engineer, industrialist, teacher, firefighter, an astronaut or a brain surgeon – he is a farmer-he is a simple man – He is a Great Father. He has left the greatest impact on me. My father is the individual who has influenced me the most and is the greatest gift I have ever received. I am living in his memories and following the footsteps of him.

“Satyalakshmi( Sweeper)

My dad not only influenced me through his attitude, actions, but also influences me through his words. He has taught me a great deal about life. He shown me the light of life and instills in me lessons that he wished others had instilled in him. I lost him when I am studying Intermediate.

“Srinivas Rao (HR Manager)

My father is a potter, he is uneducated and unable to speak the languages apart from his mother, yet he has taught me all I needed to know about attitude, determination and hard work by the simple eloquence of his example. I never felt bad of his profession, because he is a professional in his profession. I remember the days that I spent with him playing in the mud, roaming on streets sitting on his shoulders, going to exhibition at nampally. He has a dream to see me in suite. After long struggle I became HR of a reputed Organization, but now he is not here to see my achievement. My present life is because of the sacrifice made by my father in the past.

“Father……. I might have felt much happier, if you might not have left me alone like his….. “

“Subramanyam (Manager)

The worst obstacle I had to tackle unexpectedly was the death of my father due to Heart disease. At that time my age was 24. I just completed my Masters then, world became dark. I don’t know what to do, then my father’s words came into my mind Life is a rocky road; the challenge is not to let it grind you into dust, but to polish you into a brilliant gem.”  Those words have lot of impact on me. I t has been 40 years back that incident happened. Now I have 1 son & daughters’, and also I am having 3 grand children. Even today I remember the words that I heard from the father. He is a great human, who I ever met in my life.

“NarsinghRao (Auto Rickshaw Driver)

I am not educated, I studied till 7 th class in ZPHS high school. My father is a Daily wage worker. He is a big drinker. Even though he used to take care of my family, provided us with the necessities in life: food, clothing, shelter, and so much more. He sacrificed himself so I can have more than he ever had. He has given me so much, including the most important thing in the world: all of his love.

In the year 2006 he passed away with problem in the lungs. Now I am running this Auto Rickshaw, to drive the wheels of life.

“Sampath (Bank Employee)

Last month I kept leave for 4 days and went to meet my family members in Vijayawada. I don’t know why I spent; I spent total 4 days with my father happily. I came back to Chennai. The last time I saw my dad, I didn’t know it was going to be the last time I saw him. He passed away recently.  He is a retired school teacher.

We don’t know when we are going to miss a person, so please make them feel your love every moment.

“Anupama (Nursing Student)

It’s been nearly 3 months since my wonderful Dad passed away. The shock and numbness are wearing off but the pain is still very raw. I knew it would be hard but I didn’t anticipate how strong the feelings of loss and emptiness would be. What I wouldn’t give to see him again! I’ll never stop missing him but I know in time the pain will start to fade. Already I find myself thinking of him in a happier light. Not ill and unhappy as he was at the end but the way he was for most of his life. Happy, positive and always making me laugh.

“Shilpa (Sex Worker)

I don’t know how my father looks like. From childhood I was with my mother. My mother is a sex worker. In my childhood many men used to come to our house, I was sent out to sleep in the corridor. I don’t know, what she used to do inside, but after 18 years I am doing the same. Now I came to know, why father is important in girl’s life. If my father is there, I might not have been in this sex work. Even my father’s age people used to sleep with me for fulfilling their wishes. It’s all my fate. I can’t change my past. I don’t say my mother is bad, but she is not good.

 “RajKumar( Electrician)

I never got to do many things with my father. He is a truck driver that is only home two days a week. When my brothers were kids, they would go with him on trips when I was old enough; he started driving for a company that wouldn’t allow it because he carried dangerous chemicals. We never went fishing or anything, mostly just helped him do any chores or repairs that needed to be done at the house.

Two years back I lost him In an Road accident.

“Susheel (Trainer)

My father is my protector, an inspiration. He shown me love, made me experience love, taught me to share love. He is the person who I love & respect most. The most Unforgettable moment in my life is the day I stepped the hostel gate biding bye to him the tears rolled down my cheek, the thing surprises is that  I was not with my father all my whole childhood but still tears rolled that day.

I can’t expect the life without him. I feel the protective charm with love, confidence in his presence.In my view my father is a great individual, he lead and leading a great life facing hurdles at every aspect in life, never stepped back from his responsibilities at any point of time.

However a father may be as individual, may be drunker, may be irresponsible, may be great person to shower lover, may be strict and aggressive yet he is a protector, guide, inspirational and confidence to children.

I can simply say that, my father made his life as a footpath, to make me to reach my destination.

“Sravani( )

My Dad died from Paralysis when I was 14 years old. I lost my parent, my hero, and my teacher. That day it-self know I will never be the same . . . as I was before.  I see my life as a puzzle – every experience in my life is a piece of unique Life’s puzzle. When combined, they form the entire picture of my life. My Dad took a piece of my puzzle with him, a piece that will never return. I am incomplete without it, without him. We shared memories that nobody else shares, which means he knew me differently than anyone else. When someone you love dies, that part of you dies as well. You can’t re-live that memory with anyone else. Your puzzle may grow, but you can never replace that missing piece. And because of that, I will never be the same again.

Even today, daily I cry for my father, not because he left me alone, because I haven’t joined him in his journey after life. It’s really hard for a girl to face this World without father. I know the struggles that I faced from the society, for not having a father. The worst part of my life is, not able to see my father’s face for the last time when he died.

I will never be the same . . . as someone who hasn’t lost a parent. 

People are never gone, as long as we hold them in our hearts; they live on inside of us.

A small piece of advice my dear friends, fall back to your parents for anything and everything. I am sure that will make our lives better. Our parents may not understand all our feelings, emotions and thoughts immediately. They may not be so educated, talented & advanced,  however I am sure they will make an honest attempt to understand us at any case. And, that attempt would always make the result fruitful. It is because they deny something or go against some of our decisions it does not mean they will do it always. They always understand and all ears to us with an unlimited unconditional eternal love. Please understand your parents & respect the love, hope, dreams & the faith that they kept on you…I sincerely request each and everyone, please never miss your parents. They are the visible gods on earth..

Much love and compassion is sent to each and every person who may read this and learn how to love and be loved.

I’m missing my dad on father’s day.

Happy Father’s Day to all of you who are fathers, grand fathers, great-grand fathers and aspiring fathers.

Please feel free to share your opinion, your relation, attachment with your father in your words  in the comments below.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on June 15, 2012 in Family & Relationship

 

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Unrevealed Words to My father


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me…….

The article was written by Munn@Prawin….

Hi Dad,

I thought of expressing my feelings to you, but I never.

You are a great dad and a very hard working person. You are my guide, mentor, teacher and my all-time role model in life. There are still a lot of things I have to learn from you in all these years. Every time I see you handling an issue with Honesty, stability & Boldness and patience, I always wonder how you are able to do it.

I remember the days……………

  • The days you worked as an Army Official at the Borders. Even now i feel very proud to say that My Father served our Nation.
  • The unforgettable days in my life are the days when we were in the North India.
  • You used to take me to the Mahamkali temple located on the hill bit away from the firing area. I used to play with my friends Sumi & Suji, whom I remember even now.
  • I remember the hard times when we were in economical drain, after you came retired from Army. You worked as heavy vehicle driver to take care of family. I understood that “Life is not as easy as we dream & it’s not too hard to be scared of, the only thing is we have to understand life”.
  • When you used to pick me & sisters from school during night time, we used to come together on your Bi-cycle. I learned life is responsibility.
  • I travelled almost North & South parts of India along with you. I believe Life is a sweet journey, If my father accompany me all the time.
  •  The days you used to help Mom in making different dishes. I felt to love someone even the smallest things you do matters a lot.
  • You gave lot of freedom to me, but I don’t know why I hid many things & feelings from from you. The reason is I don’t want to hurt you.
  • When our house met with fire accident, there is nothing left, but again you started from scratch. I learn that “Problems are common in Life, our strength lies in, how we respond”.
  • When I was put behind the bars due to some college issues in the year 2004, you stood behind me and gave your hand to come out of that situation.
  • You encouraged me in almost everything that I felt like doing. I realized it is not the winning that matters; it is the participation that matters.
  • The days when you used to get new clothes for family members on any occasion, but you and mom used to buy clothes for yourself very very rarely. I realized how much you care & want us to be happy. Also I realized saving is part of every man’s life.
  • I came to know how much I love you, when i left you to pursue my Higher studies.
  • I remember the day when I came to know that I am the reason for the tears in your eyes, I felt like moving away. But how can I live without you. I realized that I am meaningless without you.
  • The way you took care of your parents, family members & relatives motivated me a lot. Everyone should learn from, how to take care of their parents.
  • I remember the first day of my office, where you you gave me lot of guidelines which  i will never forget.
  • The hardworking and whiz mind of yours…It made me realize hard work always pays off and gives us mental satisfaction.
  • The days you used to wake up early and come home late. I realized a man’s will plays a lot, it is not the body that controls us but it is the mind. I still wonder how you can do it at this age. It is just so amazing.
  • You are an all-rounder nature, made me realize to be a Dad needs this trait always.
Father I may not be good at expressing & showing my care, love, concern & respect, but I strongly believe that you can understand because you are FATHER…..

There are many many many things I learnt from you, which makes me stand out of the crowd even now. Thanks for being a wonderful dad, great role model and a wonderful motivator. I honestly feel, you have greatest skills and skills more than an average man, only we know about it. I wish you all health, happiness and comfort forever.

A small piece of advice my dear friends, fall back to your parents for anything and everything. I am sure that will make our lives better. Our parents may not understand all our feelings, emotions and thoughts immediately. They may not be so educated, talented & advanced,  however I am sure they will make an honest attempt to understand us at any case. And, that attempt would always make the result fruitful. It is because they deny something or go against some of our decisions it does not mean they will do it always. They always understand and all ears to us with an unlimited unconditional eternal love. Please understand your parents & respect the love, hope, dreams & the faith that they kept on you…..Yours Ever lasting…munn@

 

Please feel free to share your opinion, your relation, attachment with your father in your words  in the comments below.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on June 19, 2010 in Family & Relationship

 

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