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Divorce is chance to start fresh and discover yourself!


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

 

Marriage isn’t a love affair. It isn’t even a honeymoon. It’s a job. A long hard job, at which both partners have to work, harder than they’ve worked at anything in their lives before. If it’s a good marriage, it changes, it evolves, but it goes on getting better. I’ve seen it with my own mother and father. But a bad marriage can dissolve in a welter of resentment and acrimony. I’ve seen that, too, in my own miserable and disastrous attempt at making another person happy. And it’s never one person’s fault. It’s the sum total of a thousand little irritations, disagreements, idiotic details that in a sound alliance would simply be disregarded, or forgotten in the healing act of making love. Divorce isn’t a cure, it’s a surgical operation, even if there are no children to consider.

Nowadays love is a matter of chance, matrimony a matter of money and divorce a matter of course. With divorce Your relationship may be “Breaking Up,” but you won’t be “Breaking Down. Many say its not easy to come out of the state, at same time it i snot hard as well. For every divorced one, there will be a person, who can understand him/her in a better way and take best care for rest of time. Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the Enddivorce-is-not-the-end

You cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one. Turn the page, there might be a good news awaiting for you that makes you happy.

Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut. If you cut those ties, those people are not your family. If you make those ties, those people are your family.

I am a divorcee, it’s been more than 2 years now. Although it was the toughest decision of my life, not a day goes by when I don’t thank God for the courage he gave me. So, whether it is me or any other woman I am sure she would have gone through a few of these things:

1) Facing the fact that we are labelled. We are a divorcee now and the world never misses an opportunity to remind us of that status.

2) Pity. People will show fake sympathy and pity. Do not fall for it. Things like “you must be lonely na. How do you stay strong? I wish you find someone good. “Do not discuss the details of your divorce with anyone. They will not understand it unless they have gone through it!

3) Judging. We will be judged for what we wear, what we eat, who we talk to, everything!!! So, keep calm and ignore.

4) Curiosity. Our sex lives will a source of mystery to them. So never ever discuss it. They will not believe what you say and will have their version of it.

5) Adjustment. We need to make changes to our personal and professional lives. Eat healthy. Take care of ourselves. Keep ourselves busy.

6) Learning to be alone. This one is hard. At times it gets lonely, very lonely, learn to deal with it.

2b2ab942cd8dda95fb9bfb43d3fe8bec7) Self-pity. We need to stop the pity party. If we do not stay strong, we will be squashed. We are all we have!

8) Faith. Just because we went through tough times does not mean we lose faith in ourselves or in the almighty.

9) Family. This is the time we need to be there for each other. But, do not hold your breath on it.

10) Friends. You get to know who your real friends are. DO not get in touch with wrong ones. Limit relations as men may try to use your situations. Respect and love the people who are truly with you.

11) Dating, Marriage. Date only if you want to. Not because you have to or you should or you feel lonely. Do not get carried away by fake words of men who want you.

12) Be Careful with your wishes. It is time where you have to very careful. Even a bit of support or care given by a person, you will start falling for them. No one comes close without a reason, so be wise in dealing and judging people around. do not take chance again without proper understandings

13) Become Financially Strong. Try to become financially strong to take care of you and Kid(s) id you have. Its the first thing that makes you believe you are no way lost anything in life. Get a suitable job or move to a suitable job profile

14) Keep check on your health. To do anything in life remember you have to be health, so take good care your health. Take proper diet, have good sleep.

Divorce is Not Shameful and it is Not the End… Divorce is a choice and I chose to leave. For me, divorce affirmed that an unhappy marriage is no place to raise a child. It didn’t matter if the unhappiness was one or two sided. What mattered to me most was what my son would bear witness to. I realized that there is no dishonor in my decision, so long as we remain a family. And we have. My son knows that he is loved and he sees a fabulous friendship and co-parenting relationship.

 

For those of you who are divorcing or trying to come to terms with it after the fact, know this: You are not a failure, a jerk, a bad person; some relationships are just not meant to last. Love is not enough, and it does not conquer all, despite what we are spoon fed. The best and truest love we can ever experience is the love we have for ourselves. If you set that relationship aside for the sake of “saving a marriage”, you have failed your one true love.

 

I also realized that I will love again.I will love and be loved by someone in a breathtaking way. And I will be ready for it because I fell in love with me first.

Once the fog from our bad times clear up, We see who we are! What we are capable of. It is a chance to start a fresh and discover yourself!
“Divorce is a fire exit. When a house is burning, it doesn’t matter who set the fire. If there is no fire exit, everyone in the house will be burned!”
Words by Shipra Jain…..

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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Ignoring is Killing a Relationship


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.
 

Dont take people for granted. No matter how much they love you, people get tired eventually. We are all given chances, but never know when the last chance may be. I honestly think one of the biggest mistakes people make is to take people for granted in their LIFE. Parents not always going to be around to help you understand things you can’t understand yourself and they are not going to be around you to constantly correcting your mistakes, protecting you and to guide you. Remember that people who love you unconditionally are so precious! Never miss such persons in life. Many of us take people for granted, like it’s just a given for them to always be there with us. People constantly say that we need to treat life for what it is , precious, because we don’t know when it’s going to end… but same goes with PEOPLE who love and live for us.WhatsApp Image 2019-08-26 at 9.31.58 PM

People are precious. Without those around us where would we be, the people around us make us. People are precious. Without each other we wouldn’t be anything. We should stop using each other and cheating each other for personal growth and benefits. The only beneficial thing in life is helping each other, taking care of each other, showing each other that together we can truly make a difference. Separate we are ordinary but together we are extraordinary.

Every time you take the person for granted, you are teaching them to live without you and you offering your place to others in their LIFE.

Don’t ever take anyone for granted because before you know it, you’ll only have so much time left with them. You’ll be hit with the sudden realization that everything about them that you’ve been taking for granted for as long as you remember will not be there anymore, nor will that person either. Your relationship with this person will slip away from you faster than you know it and you’ll regret every last thing you didn’t do, and every little thing you did do to them.

When a person give, it does not come with strings. They does not keep track of what you owe them. When they give, they choose to do so without ulterior motives. They give because their love and care is genuine. They give because they know what it’s like to be without, to long for and be ignored, to speak and not be heard, to care for and have nothing returned. When they give it’s because they get it. It’s because they know the value in what they have in their heart and they refuse to let the world stop them from sharing that. But when things start being taken for granted. When you no longer appreciate their sincerity. They won’t switch, they won’t get angry, and they won’t be spiteful. They’ll just get smart and they’ll change your role in my life. Because when they give, they give portion of their life to you. But when they are done, there’s no looking back.

Even the strongest feelings expire when ignored and taken for granted

 In your LIFE if you have someone who ultimately loves and cares about you, PLEASE do not take that person for granted. It’s very hard to get people who really love us without any expectations. It doesn’t matter what your relation with that person is and also it doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship with that person or not. Right now, we are living in a world where it’s hard to find someone who will be love you, Live for you, hold your in tough situations and who is ready to give himself for you. So to have someone who will love and support you no matter what is a blessing.  Because no matter how strong we say we are, we still need someone to stick by our side. So please, just don’t ever take anyone for granted, and just appreciate and be grateful for every single breathing soul you have in your life.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.
 

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Do we Really have Freedom in India?


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Bleeding Indian….

India celebrates its 73rd year of Independence from the British Rule today, and the entire nation is basking in a patriotic glory. It’s a day to cherish, celebrate and remember the great sacrifices made by the freedom fighters to give us a free country.

Are we really free and independent? Every day, we hear about pronounced issues in our system and society such as poverty, unemployment, terrorism, the crime against women, corruption – which are not exclusive to our country. The whole world is suffering from these at different levels. My mind hovers around other subtle yet critical issues that our society is suffering from and in a way society itself is responsible for this situation. We call ourselves a free nation, but do not have the freedom to choose what we eat, what we wear or even whom we love. 15 August Independence day of India_14214

Independence Day doesn’t mean one day of nationalist pride, it means a commitment to serve the nation in a truly inclusive way. We salute the brave hearts and heroes who fought in the freedom struggle but they dreamt of a nation of peace and harmony where people prospered. Until unless we eradicate these social evils, intolerance and learn to accept differences and celebrate them, the people in the country can’t prosper.

India is the largest democracy in the world. The Constitution of India gives its citizens six rights known as the Fundamental Rights. We have the:

– RIGHT TO FREEDOM
– RIGHT TO EDUCATION AND CULTURE
– RIGHT AGAINST EXPLOITATION
– RIGHT TO EQUALITY
– RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF RELIGION
– RIGHT TO CONSTITUTIONAL REMEDIES.

The above rights are in our Constitution but not in reality. Even after 73 years of Independence, if we look at life of a common man in INDIA, he is leading a painful poisoned life .Most people in India are simultaneously prisoners and prison guards in the cages within cages of family, job and society. They spend their entire lives in these cages doing exactly what they are told to do. From birth to death their lives are regulated and decided for them by others. They usually cannot take even one day off in a year to do only what they please. They are conditioned to eat, drink, dress and behaquotescover-JPG-321ve in prescribed ways. Conformity in everything is the sum and substance of their identities. Their freedom is the freedom of the reflex action; it is the freedom of the knee to jerk. This is not freedom.

I hope that someday, I will see those kids in schools unfurling the National Flag in their schools and not selling them on traffic signals which would be trampled upon by cars the next day. It is our duty to make the dream of a progressive nation with all citizens having equal rights to live with dignity come true.

Having said all that, we still have a reason to celebrate today. Let’s enjoy our freedom, for whatever it means to the people today!

I wish that this year, we as Indians get real Independence from all the evil forces and practices that are present in Indian society.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on August 15, 2019 in Experiences of Life.

 

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Failure is Proof that You haven’t Finished YET


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by…. Prawin

No KING ruled a Kingdom forever and no Mountaineer who reached the peak of MOUNT EVEREST Stayed there forever. Even our History proves that, the people who reach  unscaled heights are bound to get low in their personal as well as professional lives. Success is not property of anyone or its is not for only few people in world. Success is never permanent, and failure is never final. People may fail in academics, love, profession, relationships, fulfilling their dreams. At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your success and your failure. And the sooner you realize that, you accept that, and integrate that into your work ethic, you will start being successful. As long as you blame others for the reason you aren’t where you want to be, you will always be a failure.

World evaluate people by what they finish, not by what they. The reason most people do not go far in life is they procrastinate procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried. Do not sit back and take what comes, go after what you want. The door of opportunity will not open unless you push. The choice of given up or going on is a defining moment in your life. Nobody and nothing can keep you down unless you decide not to rise again. The world will always give you the opportunity to quit, but only the world would call quitting an opportunity. One of the most powerful success principles ever preached is Never, Never, Never give up.. IMG_20190817_221529.jpg

At very early age of my life, I realized that every single person have battles in their life. No matter what that is and how big or small it is. At the end of the day, you’re your own hero. When you’re feeling low, don’t look for somebody’s hands, lift yourself up and be your inspiration, guide, motivator and number one supporter. Every day we need to give ourselves a pat on the back. Not for achieving something or when something goes well. But we need it when no one is there but only you. Remember, life is not puppy dogs and rainbows. It gets stormy and dark sometimes. And it’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to feel everything at the same time. It’s okay to commit mistakes and mess up on something. Remember, you will always have another chance to make things right.

My greatest glory wasn’t that I never failed. It was that I rose every time I did fall. That’s why this quote means so much to me. If I turn back and see my life, I still can see images of kid from a village going to every house to sell MILK (which is our family’s source of income) as milk vendor. From that stage, I fought every battle that my life put before me. I failed many times in my life’s journey, i did many mistakes, i was insulted by people around and each time I failed, I learnt a lesson. I never gave up and made use of every opportunity and grabbed each of them. After such a struggle, I came to a stage where I am today (The head of Quality Assurance wing for a Software Firm In London, UK. ). Only God and Myself know how many times I fell down and rose every time I fell . I never realized the validity of failure until I realized they had guided me to where I am today. If it wasn’t for that pain, I wouldn’t be where I am today and I wouldn’t be sharing all of this with you.

Today we face so many threats from the world we live in. But the biggest fear comes from within… the fear to fall. Even the most non-technical analysis tells us that the main reason behind this fear is not the fall itself but being witnessed by the whole world while we fall. Many of us work day in  and day out out to top the list of the performers in our chosen fields, and try to make ourselves conform up to the standards the world expects from us.  There are many others who do not care about the world though, but are still working relentlessly to achieve their set goals. The thought of any fall in the way to success for both gives them jitters since it seems to have a potential of eventually culminating in a failure.

I well know, it is never easy to wake up and face the same demons that you left the night before. But is it not the end of the world. You must keep going and push forward. The success awaits those who believe that SUCCESS IS NOT PERMANENT, THE SAME WAY AS FAILURE IS NOT  FINAL. So every time we fall, instead of brooding  over the fall and wasting our precious time, we should rather get up and get moving as soon as possible with full faith in our capabilities and full hope for our success at last.

IMG_20190817_194631.jpgThe fact that you have failed is proof that you are not finished. Failures and mistakes can be a bridge, not a barricade to success. It is not how far you fall but how high you bounce that makes all the difference. “You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it”.  Your success will be measured by your willingness to keep on trying. Have the courage to rise each time you fall, you can either stand up and be counted or lie down and be counted out. Success consists of getting up just one time more than you fall down.

Life is a never ending battle between you and the uncontrollable forces that try to fail you. Life is all about rising up in spite of the ache. It’s about picking yourself after a crashing defeat. No matter what you feel, you have to get up because what remains in your life is still worth fighting for. It is your responsibility not to give up because it is only you who decide for your life. Stay on course. Stay brave and be a warrior. There’s always hope. Again, there’s always hope. When you are persistent, it is proof you have not been defeated, life holds no greater wealth than that of steadfast commitment. It cannot be robbed from you, only you can lose it by your will. People do not fail, they just quit too soon.

So please do yourself a favor, never give up. You fight through the stress. You fight the anxiety. You fight through the pain. You through the insults. You fight all the negative circumstances in your life. You fight through the demons that are beating you down to your knees. Life is full of golden opportunities, every person has a lot that they can do, so start with what you can do; do not stop because of what you cannot do. Great opportunities will come as you make the most of small ones.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

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Dads aren’t moms, it’s exactly why daughters need them


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Father, none of us can assume life without this role. It’s truly disappointing whenever some says or sees fathers as just money earning machine or a person who is there in family to control or regulate kids . Till last decade World considered fathers were often those who were left in charge of providing the family, while mothers were considered the primary and only caretakers…However, it is good to know that nowadays, fatherhood has a completely different meaning. Because parenting is not only a mother’s responsibility. Good parenting means having equal roles and responsibilities when it comes to raising your children.

WhatsApp Image 2020-02-20 at 12.04.31 PM (1)A lot has changed for fathers over the past few generations. In today’s world Fathers  are much more informed and involved with their children, taking an active part in the nurturing of their children, from feeding — whether expressed breast milk or formula — to changing diapers, soothing, clothing, bathing, reading to, and helping their baby go to sleep.

Parents are the most important people in a child’s life. They create us, introduce us to this world and everything in it, raise us, help us overcome our fears, have an active role in shaping our personality and creating our own world from scratch. However, regardless of the fact that both mom and dad are an essential part of a child’s development, there is one special bond I think you’ll all agree that plays a big role in a kid’s life. From the moment little girls are born, fathers play a key role in the psychological development of their daughters. In fact, when fathers are present in their daughters’ lives, girls grow up with a healthy sense of who they are.

That’s the indestructible, everlasting, powerful bond between fathers and daughters. A father serves as the guide for a little girl to blossom into a strong and courageous young woman

When it comes to raising girls, moms often get most of the pressure and the credit. Whether regarding menstrual issues, boy problems, or makeup tips, mom is usually the first person girls turn to. I see too many men buy into the idea of ‘that’s a girl’s issue’ or ‘only a woman can understand another woman’ and avoid talking to their daughters about sex, dating, or other ‘girly’ topics.

I think it would be hard to overstate the value of the father-daughter relationship. Young women who have a positive relationship with their fathers achieve more academically. They make better relationship choices. They have more confidence, high self-esteem, and believe they can achieve their goals.⠀

Mothers, don’t me wrong. You undoubtedly have the strongest and most unique connection with your children. But there is something special about the daughter-father bond that affects the lives of their daughters in a truly intriguing and life-changing way.

A father is the first male figure in a girl’s life.

He is the true source of her values & morals.

He is the safe shelter that she goes to.

He is the pillar of her strength.

Her first love.

While moms cuddle us and teach us to be gentler, fathers encourage us to be strong. To never stop being curious, even though we make mistakes. To never give up no matter how afraid we are. To always push our limits. The mother is the one who avoids risks, and the father is the one who encourages us to always try and learn from our mistakes.

It’s no doubt. The family plays a big role in preparing us for all future relationships.  Daughters get to know how to get along with their husbands, friends, boyfriends and other people in their life after getting along with father and brother.WhatsApp Image 2020-02-20 at 12.04.31 PM

So, naturally, problematic relationships with men, depressive symptoms or low levels of self-esteem are often the residue of a father’s desertion.  When children grow up with a feeling of closeness with their fathers in the period of adolescence, they are more likely to develop a healthy and satisfying adult marital relationship.

A healthy relationship with the father prevents a daughter from being afraid of establishing an intimate relationship in her future life. For any girl, love with her father is always the first experience of love and introduces her to what male love is all about. If there is a positive love experience with her father in her early years, she is going to do much better and vice versa.  As compared to mothers,  fathers generally have more impact on how daughters relate to men. That is exactly why a positive father-daughter relationship has a big impact on a daughter’s interpersonal problems and interactions.

Here are some ideas for creating a loving and secure relationship with your daughter.

Begin the Day She Is Born: To create a positive relationship with your daughter, start on the day she is born. Get involved in her life from the very beginning by taking an active role in caring for your baby girl. The more time you spend with her early on, the easier it will be to continue building the relationship later.

Be Involved: The hallmark of every great father-daughter relationship is a father who is actively interested and involved in his daughter’s life. Being involved is about more than asking about her day. Instead, it means finding out what she is interested in or excited about and sharing in it with her.

Teach Her New Things: It is wonderful when you teach your daughter to ride a bike, throw a softball, to read, or even to do chores. But often the best things you can teach her are the things society might consider “guy things.” Skills like checking the oil in a car, putting bait on a fishing hook, building a computer program, using a hammer and nails, or even hitting a cricket ball will serve your daughter well.

Love Her Unconditionally: Every young girl needs to know that she is loved even when she messes up. When she makes poor choices be careful not to ridicule, shame, or demean her. Instead, help her learn and grow. Use these situations as opportunities to teach her something. Just be calm, patient, and loving in the process.

Plan Fun Time: Every father-daughter relationship should include daddy-daughter dates. These moments together don’t have to be anything elaborate. Simply checking out the latest toys at the toy store, going out for ice cream, or attending the library’s storytime are great options for daddy-daughter dates.

WhatsApp Image 2020-02-20 at 12.57.55 PMBe Her Confidant: Many girls love to talk. They also tend to be more vocal than boys growing up. You can build your relationship with your daughter by listening more and allowing her to confide in you. Pay attention to what she says when you are together. Listen to what she is thinking about, dreaming of, and wishing for in her life.

Validate Her Often: Modern culture and the media often give young girls the wrong messages. For instance, it is common for girls to believe that they need to be a certain weight, wear the right makeup, and dress a certain way to be beautiful. But, you can diminish those messages by validating the way your daughter looks. When you tell her she is beautiful, you are emphasizing that she is perfect just the way she is. You also can emphasize the importance of being beautiful inside too.

Write Notes and Letters: Just about every little girl loves cards, notes, and letters. Take the time to write your daughter regular notes and letters expressing your feelings. Let her know how you feel about her, and tell her how proud you are of her.

Be a Great Example of Manhood: The way you treat other women makes a big difference in how your daughter will see men later in her life. Be respectful, kind, generous, and loving toward her and her mother, as well as the other female friends and relatives in your lives. Simple courtesy and kindness will go a long way in helping her know what to expect of the men in her life.

A father should create a safe and protective environment for his daughter not only physically but also emotionally.  A father’s behavior should encourage his daughters to never feel afraid to share their feelings.

The understanding between a father and his daughter is unbeatable. They are inseparable and feel quite restless when they aren’t around each other. A daughter brings out the best father in a man while that best father is busy raising a wonderful girl. Cheers to all the father-daughter duos. 🙂

In the end, it is no doubt that we are the product of those who raise us.

Daughter May Outgrow your lap but not HEART of a Father.

 

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Guide to make Sex Life Beautiful


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

When it comes to sex, you might be wondering if there are tips and tricks guys want to share, but don’t. Frankly, there is no is no standard such list of tips. Everyone is different, and what works for one guy might not work for another. Married couples who have sex regularly live longer, have better heart health, enjoy a deeper connection, and can let go of annoyances easier.

There’s a common belief that most Men want to have more sex, but is this really the case? Does only Men want Sex. ? Its not true. Its not limited to Gender. Even Woman look  for good Sex. Many women find sex to be the deepest form of love and connection, and many women are very sexually oriented. But the ways that women experience and express their sexuality are often very different from their male partners.

Most men’s minds tend readily to say “yes” to sex. Whereas most women’s minds tend to say “maybe,” or “that depends.” For Men it’s an instant Maggie noodle, whereas for woman lot of things come into play.

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“Women need a reason to have sex. Men need a reason to have sex, too.  But for most men, the reason can be as simple as your partner taking off their shirt, coming out from shower etc. In Simple terms,Men just need a place to have Sex.

It reminds me of one of my friend who said: “It’s not fair, my husband is always up for it, he gets aroused, gets an erection and he is ready go. It never was a problem for me in our first years together but now with our busy lives and two young children I don’t look forward to it any more. I really love him but we keep arguing about it all the time, which really puts me off sex. Can you please suggest me what to do?”

It’s important for couples not to blame each other for different levels of sexual interest. This desire discrepancy, as it is often called, does not generally reflect a lack of love but can lead to questioning sexual compatibility as a couple. The main problem is that the person who wants sex more almost always feels rejected by their partner. They may take it personally and begin to wonder if they are still attractive, not desired any more, or maybe their partner has a lover.

Most couples argue about the frequency of sex; one person wants sex three times a week and the partner is content with once a week or fortnight. However, the partner with the lower sex drive controls the frequency of sex — if she or he doesn’t want it, it generally doesn’t happen. This is usually not due to being vindictive or needing power and control, it’s just that why would anyone want to have sex when they are not in the mood?

Here are some tips for Men and Women who wanna have health Sexual bond.

What do woman and men crave in bed, but are too shy to ask? Here are some ideas of what women, man want during sex. Its like a detailed Step-by-step guide to make your nights memorable with your partner. Make some of these ideas your own—then forward to the guys in your circle.

Find out if the person wants to have sex: This is the most important part about a good sexual experience. If one of the partners is not ‘in the mood’ or does not want to have sex it can lead to the entire process turning sour. Not to mention the fact that it can leave you or your partner with a sense of being violated or used. So, find out if he/she wants to have sex. Some common indicators you should look out for is if the person seems keen on being with you physically, touches you or increases his/her proximity to you.

39159b6b575d2f0e58c92b5bbc85005dGive yourself time. As you age, your sexual responses slow down. You and your partner can improve your chances of success by finding a quiet, comfortable, interruption-free setting for sex. Also, understand that the physical changes in your body mean that you’ll need more time to get aroused and reach orgasm. When you think about it, spending more time having sex isn’t a bad thing; working these physical necessities into your lovemaking routine can open up doors to a new kind of sexual experience.

Maintain physical affection. Even if you’re tired, tense, or upset about the problem, engaging in kissing and cuddling is essential for maintaining an emotional and physical bond.

Be prepared: Sex is a wonderful thing. It’s pleasurable and makes you feel happy. It also has a number of other health benefits like helping you burn calories and beating depression. It’s no wonder that we are the only species that has sex for pleasure and not solely procreation. But with all that fun come problems like unwanted pregnancies, STDs and emotional setbacks. So being prepared is your best option. If you are planning to have a one-night stand or are taking the first step towards a committed relationship remember that you should have your mind in sync with what your body wants.

Choose the location and set the mood: Sex is an intimate act, at least it should be. So pick a spot where both of you will be uninhibited, especially if it’s your first time. Pick a place that is private and has a comfortable place to have sex in. A good soft bed with mood lighting always helps the cause (unless you plan to tread on an experimental path). So splurge a little bit. Remember pleasure does come at a cost.

Approach the person gently and do not seem too desperate: Coming on too strongly or being pushy about having sex is one of the biggest turn offs. So don’t seem desperate (even if you are dying to be with the person), allow the other person some space to express their feelings as well. You should definitely show that you are interested in getting physically intimate but back off if you feel the other person is not reciprocating. Sex should be a choice so let them choose.

Kiss and caress: The first step towards physical intimacy is kissing. Most women love to kiss and a passionate kiss can definitely put her in the mood for some more. Moreover being close, kissing, touching and caressing your partner helps stimulate their erogenous zones which will lead to more pleasurable sex. It also leads to a stronger sense of closeness and safety – two emotions that help a person perform better in bed.  So touch him/her, kiss and make your partner wanted. This is also another way to help quell the person’s body image issues (if they have any), making them more comfortable in your presence.porls7yry8

Have a lot of foreplay: This is where you can either choose to remove your clothes or have your partner undress you. Another way to go about it is to remove one piece of clothing at a time, making the entire process a mystery. When it comes to foreplay, most people think that sex is only penetrative. But the act does include foreplay. Foreplay, as the name suggests is what you do before you have sex. It includes fondling, kissing, stimulating your partner’s erogenous zones and oral sex as well. Make sure you get enough of this in. It is often the most enjoyable part of the whole sexual experience because the two of you can experiment with a number of methods. Tip for men: Women can orgasm multiple times. So pleasure your woman, she will definitely be in the mood for some more and thank you for it in more ways than one. Tip for women: Most men love to be touched as well, so make him feel good. Touch him, kiss him and feel his entire body. Don’t hold back and don’t be the only one hogging all the pleasure.

Pick the right moment: The right moment to have penetrative sex is usually felt and is often mutual. Pick the moment when your partner really wants to move on to the next step. In some cases asking if the other person is ready or if he/she wants more is a good way to know when it’s time. Once you know that he/she is ready, take it to the next level.

Insertion: This is the most hyped part about sex and is often believed to be the only thing that happens during it. But there’s nothing further from the truth. In this step the penis is inserted into the vagina. Tip for men: The vagina is an elastic organ present just below the woman’s vulva (external lips of her genitals). If you are having protective sex, make sure you wear a condom before you insert your penis into her vagina. A number of men get the position wrong and tend to ‘look around’ with their penis (try to penetrate without knowing where the vagina is) this can be painful for the woman. So a good way to find the vagina without being embarrassed is to ask your partner to help you.

Try different positions. Developing a repertoire of different sexual positions not only adds interest to lovemaking, but can also help overcome problems. For example, the increased stimulation to the G-spot that occurs when a man enters his partner from behind can help the woman reach orgasm.

Use lubrication. Often, the vaginal dryness that begins in perimenopause can be easily corrected with lubricating liquids and gels. Use these freely to avoid painful sex—a problem that can snowball into flagging libido and growing relationship tensions. When lubricants no longer work, discuss other options with your doctor.

img_0867Love making: Once the initial penetration is complete, you can choose to have sex however you both are comfortable. Men, make sure you thrust (your penis into her vagina) in rhythmic motions and do it from the hip; this will ensure your woman gets the maximum pleasure. Moving your entire body is counterproductive. Most importantly listen to your partner and your body. Allow yourself to feel pleasure and make sure you take your partner’s pleasure into consideration and make her happy too. Tip for women: Be proactive in bed. Move when your man moves. Thrusting can be pleasurable and even more so when you both are doing it in sync and together. Tell your man what you do and don’t like. Also, make sure you pleasure him as well.

Last few moments: Once you both have climaxed or the sex is about to get over, you both will most probably be in a state of elation. Allow yourselves to be in that state for as long as you need to be. Remember this is the phase where you can choose to hold each other or simply be next to each other. Don’t rush things; let your body come back to its normal state. Rushed sex can be exciting sometimes but if it is done on a regular basis it can leave you feeling a bit incomplete. Tip for men: Most women like to be held or cuddled at this point. Indulge her. After all she has been a partner in your sexual romp. Tip for women: If you liked the experience, tell your partner that. There is nothing like an ego boost after a good time between the sheets.

Winding up: The post coital part can be lovely in some cases and awkward in others. So try to make your partner comfortable. Give him/her a t-shirt to wear, flirt a little and tell him/her how good the experience was. Smile and share a laugh together. This could be the best time to make a good friend or a partner for life. So use the opportunity. After you’ll are done, make sure you’ll wash up. Women, wash your vaginal opening and vulva and men should wash their penis once they remove the condom. Lastly, make sure you dispose of the condom properly. Do not flush it down the toilet. Throw it in a dustbin wrapped in paper or tissue instead.

Don’t give up. If none of your efforts seem to work, don’t give up hope. Your doctor can often determine the cause of your sexual problem and may be able to identify effective treatments. He or she can also put you in touch with a sex therapist who can help you explore issues that may be standing in the way of a fulfilling sex life.

But we have to keep in mind that men and women are wired differently. It’s not only about who has the stronger sex drive; men and women just respond differently and at different times. Women base their desire for sex more on connection, intimacy and emotion; they also need more time to physically get ready for sex.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honored if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

 

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Scrum Vs Kanban


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by AXA XL Team…

Which framework works best: Kanban or Scrum? If you are on the verge of a brand new project, I bet this question has posed quite the challenge to your mind. Today Kanban and Scrum have grown in popularity and have taken the place of the previously popular waterfall method.

Agile –  Agile software development is based on an incremental, iterative approach. Instead of in-depth planning at the beginning of the project, Agile methodologies are open to changing requirements over time and encourages constant feedback from the end users. Cross-functional teams work on iterations of a product over a period of time, and this work is organized into a backlog that is prioritized based on business or customer value. The goal of each iteration is to produce a working product.

Scrum – The approach followed here is breaking down a complex task into simpler smaller manageable pieces which are easy to collaborate upon by the respective owners of the scrum.

Kanban – It is a Continuous improvement, flexible process. Kanban helps visualize your work, limit work-in-progress(WIP) and quickly move work from “Doing” to “Done.” It is a framework which utilizes visualization technique, limiting the number of tasks to be taken in “Work in Progress” column.

Scrum Vs Kanban

Kanban and Scrum are both iterative Agile development models, the goal is to get the most important tasks fully done (including testing) as soon as possible. The product should be potentially shippable at the end of the iteration. The difference is with Scrum the end is a set date, with Kanban it could be anytime the features that need releasing are done. In Scrum you plan a fixed period of time and with Kanban you plan just in time.

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Roles –

  • Scrum is dependent on the scrum owners and is worked upon by them respectively. Scrum has three clearly defined roles.
    1. The product owner advocates for the customer, manages the product backlog, and helps prioritize the work done by the development team.
    2. The scrum master helps the team stay grounded in the scrum principles.
    3. The scrum team chooses the work to be done, delivers increments, and demonstrates collective accountability
  • Kanban is independent of cross-functional team members and parallel roles. The whole team owns the kanban board. Some teams enlist an agile coach but, unlike scrum, there is no single “kanban master” who keeps everything running smoothly. It’s the collective responsibility of the entire team to collaborate on and deliver the tasks on the board.

Release cycle –

  • Scrum makes use of sprints whose duration varies from one week to two weeks. The user stories are then taken up for development, testing and bug fixes. Nowadays, it’s common to have ad-hoc releases in scrum, but it’s long been a best practice to release at the end of each sprint. Teams set an objective for each sprint, the sprint goal, and either approves it for release in the sprint review meeting, or don’t
  • Kanban does not follow any cycle and the process is continuous in nature. In kanban, updates are released whenever they are ready, without a regular schedule or predetermined due dates. In theory, kanban does not prescribe a fixed time to deliver a task. If the task gets completed earlier (or later), it can be released as needed without having to wait for a release milestone like sprint review.

Tracking parameters –

  • Scrum makes use of velocity in planning upcoming sprints taking into account the complexity and number of user stories completed in the previous sprint.
  • Kanban ensures limiting of user stories in “Work in Progress” column to avoid bottlenecks. It tracks the time taken to finish a task from the starting to the end.

The scope of improvement –

  • Scrum does not encourage changes in ongoing sprints.
  • Kanban is open to any changes before the completion of the project. It is flexible in nature.

Fit factor –

  • Scrum is suitable for projects with clearly defined user stories. Acknowledgement on the same by the client for timely completion of the project makes it a fit.
  • Kanban being flexible in nature allows variations in priorities on the basis of the current scenario.

Pick process –

  • Scrum picks the entire batch of user stories from the product backlog for development.
  • Kanban follows the maximum number of tasks allowed in the columns to maintain the sanity of the framework and to avoid bottlenecks.

Delivery –

  • Scrum follows delivery based on sprint planning and prioritize based on the specifications given by the client.
  • Kanban follows the continuous delivery model based on business needs.

Key metrics

  • Scrum – Velocity i.e. the number of story points completed in a sprint—is the central metric for scrum teams. It guides future sprint commitments, or how much work the scrum team takes on in future sprints. If the team completes an average of 35 story points per sprint (Velocity = 35), it won’t agree to a sprint backlog that contains 45 points.
  • Kanban – Lead time and cycle time are important metrics for kanban teams. The deal with the average amount of time that it takes for a task to move from start to finish. Improving cycle times indicates the success of kanban teams.

The above points are easy to remember if you are able to visualize working on them. Ideally where the scrum follows a rather predefined set of principles. Kanban is backed up by the principle of flexibility. It allows you to track tasks that are of utmost importance for delivery.

What Is Kanban? ks3

In order to simplify the manufacturing process and increase efficiency, in the 1940s Toyota implemented just-in-time manufacturing—effectively, making only what is needed, only when it is needed, and only in the amount that is needed.

Kanban is great for teams that have lots of incoming requests that vary in priority and size. Whereas scrum processes require high control over what is in scope, kanban let’s you go with the flow. Let’s take a look at the same five considerations to help you decide. What makes Kanban interesting is this aspect of it – that you could be continuously developing, integrating, testing and releasing at a cadence that you feel comfortable with – and so the whole concept of Continuous Delivery becomes much more ‘natural’ with Kanban.

How Does Kanban Work?

The only essential materials for kanban are a marker, sticky notes, and a board. Create “cards” from the sticky notes representing work items that have to go through several phases, from start to finish. Then draw columns on the board for each phase the cards need to go through, with a number at the top of each column that indicates the maximum number of cards (i.e., work in progress) that can be in that phase at a time. This number probably will and should change as your team improves its ability to gauge and reduce bottlenecks. The columns could simply be labeled “to do,” “doing,” “waiting,” and “done,” or they can be more process-specific, such as in the examples below.

Another helpful thing many teams do is dividing the columns in two, with one lane for “doing” and one for “done,” as you can see in the software development kanban example above. This way, it is clear to whoever is in charge of the following column to know when they can pull another card and begin working on it.

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The beauty of this system is that it helps you detect where bottlenecks are. The work-in-progress limit stimulates conversations about process problems. In the examples above, you can see some columns are at capacity and some are not, but none has more cards than prescribed.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

 

 

 
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Posted by on March 22, 2019 in Technical

 

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Request to Parents & Parents-to-be


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Every Child’s Childhood should be carefree, playing in the sun; not living a nightmare in the darkness of the soul. Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime. The only reason why child abuse is alive today, is because we as adults fail our children when we fail to listen to them. Listen to a child today! Child Abuse Main Image

Any for of Abuse manipulates and twists a child’s natural sense of trust and love. Her innocent feelings are belittled or mocked and she learns to ignore her feelings. She can’t afford to feel the full range of feelings in her body while she’s being abused—pain, outrage, hate, vengeance, confusion, arousal. So she short-circuits them and goes numb. For many children, any expression of feelings, even a single tear, is cause for more severe abuse. Again, the only recourse is to shut down. Feelings go underground.

As parents you would always want your kids to grow up as loving, kind, happy and successful individuals. You want them to love and to be loved by all. In the process you teach them many things which are good for their life and future.

In the similar way, make sure to consider below points and teach you Children at early age. You must remind your kids from time and again that you would always be by their side when required and help them when required. Ask your kid to maintain a positive frame of mind, so that she can easily overcome hurdles that she comes across in her life.

1: Warn your Girl Child Never to sit on anyone’s laps no matter the situation including uncles.

2: Avoid Getting Dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.

3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’

4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.

child-abuse-750x5385. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child becomes too fond of a particular adult.

6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently ask lots of questions from your child..

7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you don’t, the society will teach them the wrong values.

8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.

9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your child(ren) visit(s) often.

10. Teach your 3 year olds how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home and with you).

11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).

12. Let your child(ren) understand the value of standing out of the crowd.

13: Once your child complains about a particular person, don’t keep quiet about it. Take up the case and show them you can defend them.

Child(ren) abuse changes your life…Fight Back and change the life of your abusers by Breaking Your Silence on Abuse!

These are just few, but important life lessons that you should teach your kid. You have some more to add on this? Share with us if u have some more life lessons to teach kids by mentioning them in the comment section below.

Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be. and remember “THE PAIN LASTS A LIFETIME”. And if possible forward to all friends who have children’s

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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A daughter may outgrow your lap, but not your heart


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

I am a KING, not because i have a kingdom, but as I have a Daughter who is PRINCESS of my World. Of all the titles I’ve been privileged to have, ‘Dad’ has always been the best.

From my childhood I spent most of my life in the arms of many wonderful women, but for first time, I hold a little angel (ShanvikaPr@win) close to my HEART and she proudly calls me Prawin. When she says ‘Daddy I need you!’ I wonder if she has any idea that I need her billion times more. Having a daughter makes me see things in a different way. This is my only girl. So I don’t care what it takes to protect her. You can call it what you want to call it. As long as you treat her the same way I treat her, like my princess, I don’t mind.

Shanvika, hours I spend with you in a day may be limited, but my thoughts for PicsArt_08-18-05.35.48you are  unlimited and my love is unconditional. You make me very proud to be your Father. I know that our relationship is not completely perfect, but I love that it’s strong and real. I love you, sweetheart. With every day that passes, you only grow more beautiful in my eyes. I admire your heart of gold. I love you very much! I Adore your Smile, I Cherish your Hugs, I Admire your Heart, But Most of All I Love that you are My Daughter. Never forget that I Love you till my last breath. Life is filled with hard times and good times. Learn from everything you can. Be the woman I know you can be.

The bond a father and daughter share is special and irreplaceable. To every father, his Daughter is a gift from heaven who is like sunshine to a day. She fills fathers heart with pleasure, a joy to always treasure! Not only does a girl’s relationship with her father shape her childhood experience, but it will also influence how she interacts with men in her adult years. If a father is absent or erratic in his behavior, this sets his daughter up for feelings of low self-esteem and trouble with trusting men in general. All parents should appreciate the importance of understanding the father’s role in his daughter’s life, as his presence (or absence) will play a role in her self-image and well-being for decades to come. Daughters can bring so much meaning to your life and make you the happiest you have ever been. Below are some of the traits every father should possess.

Teach your Daughter That She Is Worthy of a Respectful Partner: A father who treats his daughter – and his daughter’s mother – with respect is sending a clear message that women deserve good treatment from the men in their lives. This can make all the difference when his daughter begins dating. If she is used to positive support and kind behavior, she is less likely to tolerate it from abusive dates and partners.

IMG_20190818_182623Make Time for your Daughter, No Matter How Busy you are: One of the most important things a father can do is simply show that he is willing to be around. He should make the effort to attend special events at his daughter’s school, engage her in conversation, and take an interest in all areas of her life. This will build her self-esteem and let her know that she is a worthwhile individual.

Remind Your Daughter That She Is Beautiful Inside and Out: There is nothing wrong with telling your daughter that she is pretty, but remember to tell her how much you value her intellectual abilities and character. This will prevent her from relying on her looks to carry her through life and from placing too much value on what others think of her face and body.

Inspire your Daughter to Reach Her Goals: A father should encourage his daughter to follow her dreams and show her that he believes she has what it takes to succeed. Girls habitually look to both parents for guidance and support, so fathers must make the effort to inspire their daughters whenever possible

Enjoy Activities Together: Healthy activities such as walking, biking and swimming are a great way of building memories and teaching your daughter that exercise is an important habit. Keeping fit will help her maintain a good body image, which will be a real asset as she develops into a teenager.

Be Consistently Loving but Firm : Daughters who do not receive affection and approval from their fathers are likely to seek it elsewhere as teenagers and adults, and this may lead to an unhealthy dependency on men. Fathers can prevent this happening by telling their daughters how special and loved they are, whilst maintaining appropriate levels of discipline and upholding firm boundaries.

Always Treat your wife Well, Even If you Are Not Together: If a daughter witnesses her father treating her mother poorly, she will receive negative or mixed messages about how men and women relate to one another. Even if you are not with her mother, always take the high road and act in a civil manner.

Take your daughter on Special Trips and Outings: Let your daughter feel special by  IMG_20190818_182553making the time to take her out on a regular basis. A simple trip to the park with a picnic is enough to show her that you care enough to make her a priority. Take the opportunity to show her how men should treat women – with respect and dignity. Engage her in conversation and talk to her as an equal.

Model a Respectful Attitude Towards Women : A good father does not make sexist jokes or speak disrespectfully about women. He has the intelligence to realize that his daughter’s self-image will suffer if he does so, and knows that it is important to uphold the idea that women are of equal value to men

Know When to Ask for Forgiveness: No father can be perfect all the time. When you mess up, explain how you plan to do better next time and tell her that you are sorry. For example, if you accidentally miss her piano recital, plan an outing to make it up to her. Ask for her forgiveness and learn from your mistakes.

I request every father, kindly treat you Daughter the way you want her future partner to treat her. The way you interact with your daughter is what she becomes used to when relating to a man. Treat her with respect, dignity, caring, and affection and she will expect to be treated that way by a mate.

Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person. In my career, there’s many things I’ve won and many things I’ve achieved, but for me, my greatest achievement is my children and my family. It’s about being a good father, good Son, a good grandson, a good husband, a good brother, good friend, a good colleague and a good fellow human just being connected to every of my well-wishers  as much as possible.

Today is my little angel ShanvikaPr@win birthday. Kindly bless her and wish her to have a wonderful life. 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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Potluck Lunch helps in Team Building


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

In any organisation, team work can make all the difference between success and failure. That’s because collaborative teams excel at dividing responsibilities and working towards the same goal. Realising this, most teams are focusing on team building exercises that can bring teams closer.

Maintaining a healthy work culture, one that keeps the entire team motivated and enthused, can be a tough task. You see your employees going through their everyday tasks in a routine, and on the surface, everything might look happy and gay, but you never know when monotony can kick in and leave the entire system uninspired.

Just a small activity is enough to see the change in the overall enthusiasm and energy of the office. It can also be a great way for newbies to feel comfortable and at ease with the rest of the team.

Recently we had a team Potluck lunch organised by my lovely team ladies. Special thanks to my loving Vijaya Ragi & Team for handling everything in a smooth way. It is well planned and organised.

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If you want your team to feel energised at all times, to enjoy what they’re doing and love working for you – and for this, you cannot lay enough emphasis on the need for recreational activities. While some offices go for activity outings, we actually have a simpler and cheaper alternative that can be just as rewarding. The other simple yet effective team building activity is a potluck. It can be organised  by anyone without costing a penny to the company.

But what exactly is it and how does it help in building teams?

What Is an Office Potluck?

In simple terms, a potluck is an occasion when attendees bring food to be shared with everyone. Whether it has a theme or not, is completely up to the team members.

The main idea is to add some fun to the workplace and encourage employees to connect with one another over food.

How to Organise  an Office Potluck

The best thing about a potluck is that you don’t need a big reason to organise  it. It could be an occasion to celebrate a holiday or just the first day at work after a long holiday.

You simply need an organiser  to send out the emails and coordinate with everyone involved.

Sometimes the organiser  may allocate responsibilities to the team members. For example, you may ask two employees to take care of the dessert and two others to bring some appetisers . Or you may choose to let the employees decide among themselves.

Office Potluck for Team Building

Do you sense a growing lack of communication between two team members? A potluck lunch can be of great help.

Get those two employees to plan the potluck. Ask them to coordinate the menu and come up with two dishes that everyone can enjoy.

The objective here is to get them to communicate with each other and find a simple solution. You may or may not oversee how they do this, but the end result can help them connect with each other.

At a later point, you may even speak to the two employees separately to get an idea how they felt about the whole exercise.

A potluck is also a great occasion to bring a close-knit team closer. As many small businesses have fewer employees working for them, a potluck lunch can give them a reason to discuss things beyond work. Often such discussions may reveal hidden talents and opportunities for business growth.

Whatever you do, remember to have fun and enjoy some good food.

Below are some glimpses of my teams Potluck events.

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In conclusion, I would like to point out one very important fact. This is the deciding force. More convincing than any research paper or analysis. This is the real, ultimate deal-breaker: Your office is going to be flooded with yummy home-made FOOD for one whole day! Do you still need another reason?

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honoured  if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

If you wish to follow my journey outside of my writing, you can find me on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/MunnaPrawin) Instagram(MunnaPrawin) and Twitter(@munnaprawin).

 

 

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Steps to Introduce Test Automation


Today, software testing is an integral part of the development process. To reduce the time spent on testing, many companies opt for test automation. However, automation capabilities move beyond speed increase and include test coverage enhancement and overall QA costs optimization in the long run.

Assume, You’ve just started a brand new role at a company and the very first task you’ve got in front of you, is to implement test automation.

Now, this company has never done any kind of test automation and right now is relying on a hodgepodge of methods to test and measure quality.

Where do you start and how do you begin such a momentous task? I’m glad you asked.

We’re going to be talking about the general, fundamental concepts surrounding test automation – not specific tools or frameworks you need to use because those will vary based on what your organizations unique needs.

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Analyzing applications to determine which can be automated

If your organization is working on 3 applications, it is not necessary that each should be automated. We have to see the various factors while selecting any application to automate.

The application which should be automated must have these factors:

  1. The application should not be in the early stages of its development. (The application should have all or some modules which are stable and tested by manual testers)
  2. The UI of the application must be stable. (The UI must not change frequently)
  3. The manual test cases of this application should be in written form.
  4. Basic application flow should have been already tested and working

The main goal of automation is to make sure that if the application is bug-free in one build, it should remain bug-free in the next build. The manual tester should not waste their time in finding regression issues, these issues should be identified in automation.

Educate on myths & misconceptions

Educating management, and other groups, about these particular myths and misconceptions surrounding test automation, gives you a shot at success. It provides the understanding and opens lines of communication that will benefit you and your work.

The myths & misconceptions include things such as:

  • You can automate 100% of your tests.
  • Automation allows Management to reduce test staff.
  • One tool is all you need.
  • Automation will speed up the testing process.
  • Anyone (untrained/unskilled) can do automation.
  • Open-source tools are “free.”
  • “Codeless” and “Scriptless” tools can do all the work.
  • Automation can be created quickly.
  • Only hire a Software Design/Development Engineer in Test (SDET).
  • Automation provides an immediate return on investment (ROI).

Determine the scope

Any process starts with the definition. Therefore, before implementing test automation, you should determine the automation scope. When starting tests development, a QA engineer should first define the order according to the tests’ priority rate.

Prepare to automate

Having quite profound experience in test automation, I can say the following: automated tests should cover the most stable part of the functionality and the one that is tested for about 3-4 times per week.

As a rule, smoke tests (or other regression tests) are chosen for that very purpose.

Select tools for automation

As soon as the scope is defined, a QA engineer should select test automation tools. The tested interfaces define the package of applied tools. Different types of interfaces presuppose different tools’ range.

There is no any one-size-fits-all solution. The choice of a test automation tool will depend on the technology the software is built on. For example, QTP does not support Informatica. That means the tool cannot be used for the software. We prefer the most reliable and proven solutions: Selenium WebDriver, Coded UI, Ranorex, TestStack.White, Appium, Xamarin, and many more.

Having decided upon the tools, testers get to framework implementation.

Training the Team

After tool selection and resource hiring, the next step is logically the training of the resources. If manual testers are converted into automation engineers, they have to be trained on automation terminologies and concepts. If automation architect is hired from outside, he must get knowledge about the product to test, the manual testing process and what management is expecting.

Give resources some time to try different things until they finally come up with a winning automation strategy. Train them on the tools which organization is already using bug tracking software and requirements management software.

Good training and strong communication between manual testers, developers and automation team is really necessary.

Develop the framework

The framework is the basis for further automated tests’ development. It provides an opportunity to optimize test development efforts by re-using the code. You can utilize any of the ready-to-use frameworks presented on the market, like the Robot framework for Selenium.

The usefulness of frameworks is hard to underestimate. Thanks to frameworks, it’s possible to maintain consistency of testing and improve re-usability. You can also count on minimizing code usage and improving the structure of tests, which is a perfect scenario for long-term projects.

Configure the environment

All the tests run in the environment, which is to be well-configured. Upon this step, you should create and support the environment to successfully run automated tests and store the results.

Test automation will require test data, which means you are to prepare the set of files and test accounts beforehand. Otherwise, you tackle risks that may damage the process and provide you with irrelevant test results.

Test automation process

Developing an Execution Plan

The execution plan includes selecting which environments the scripts will be executed. The environment includes OS, Browser and different hardware configurations.

For example, if the test case demands that it should check the website in 3 browsers, namely, Chrome, Firefox and IE, then the automation team will write the script in such a manner that it will be able to execute in each browser.

Start to automate

Eventually, when all the preliminary preparations are done, testers can get down to automated test development. A regular process of providing new automated tests includes the following points:

  1. Selection of the manual test case according to the stated priorities
  2. Code writing for the automated test
  3. Adding the automated test to the debug test execution
  4. Adding the automated test to the test execution for newly created builds.

Writing Scripts

When the framework is designed, the execution plan is known and resources are trained on the new tool, now it’s the right time to start writing scripts.

Scripts should be written in an organized manner with proper naming convention. The source code should be maintained in a source control to avoid code loss. Version control and history should be maintained. Test automation is just like software development. All best programming practices should be taken care while writing the scripts.

Reporting

The reporting feature is usually provided by the tool. But we can create custom reporting mechanisms like auto-emailing the results to management.

We can create reports at the end of each execution in the form of charts and tables if management needs it. The management should always be informed about the test case coverage, that means which manual test cases are covered in automation and which of them are remaining.

Maintenance of Scripts

If best programming practices are followed and framework is good, then maintenance will not be a problem.

Maintenance usually occurs when there is a change request an application. The scripts should immediately be updated to cope with that change to ensure flawless execution.

Monitoring

When the tests are launched, they should be monitored. You cannot let them go along without tracking the process. While monitoring the automated test, remember to take into consideration the following aspects:

  1. Automated test coverage, cost per test
  2. Useful vs. irrelevant results after test execution
  3. Cost per test
  4. The scope of support in comparison with the number of executed tests
  5. Economic effect (ROI, return on investment).

Tracking the process, keep in mind, that test automation is much more than computers launching test programs. It is also delivering information about quality.

Ultimately, mastering automation can significantly increase your business value. Automation includes many factors that need to be understood and addressed before the start of the process. Follow the main points to avoid the risks and get your benefits.

The Final Word:

Following the steps discussed above will help you in successfully implementing automation testing seamlessly in your organization. Once the process is in place, you need to follow the best practices. Whenever there is a change/update in the application, the scripts should be checked and updated as required. Have you tried introducing automation to your testing process? Share your experience in the comments below.
 
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Posted by on February 21, 2019 in Technical

 

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Journey with my Team


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

I miss my team. I miss the inside jokes, the feelings of communal accomplishment, the team dinners, even the endless drama… I miss it all. I loved complaining about the workouts, the politics, and the bad apples (every team had them). I loved the friendships that were established in the every step of journey..

WhatsApp Image 2019-12-26 at 7.35.30 PM

I miss confiding in my teammates everything on my mind and heart, and miss them being such a huge part of both.

I cannot imagine achieving new goals without you, lads! You made this company reach new milestones with all your hard work! Big thanks to all of you. Congratulations to you for all the hard works and positive thinking. You took the meaning of teamwork to a whole new level. Appreciate your good work! I don’t think it would have been possible to achieve the goal without each and every one of your efforts! You guys deserve a treat!

I’m lucky to be part of a team who help to make me look good, and they deserve as much of the credit for my success as I do for the hard work we have all put in on the training ground. I am so blessed to have worked with such an amazing team of individuals, who care so much for each individual they come in contact with. Each wonderfully happy moment and every single heartbreaking moment has its place here.

My team saw the best of me. They worked so hard, accomplished big dreams part of me. The leader by actions part of me. The motivated, determined me. The healthy and strong me. They saw the shinny gold me.

WhatsApp Image 2019-12-26 at 7.36.46 PM.jpeg

My team celebrated with me. They jumped and danced and squealed because of me. Just for me. Alongside me. We hugged, high-fived and scarfed down an extra large victory Blizzard together.

My team commiserated with me. They cried and apologized because of me. Just for me. Alongside me. We hugged. We ugly-cried.

My team saw the worst of me. The couldn’t keep up, failing part of me. The excuse making, finger pointing, complaining part of me. The depressed, discouraged me. The broken and weak me. They saw the darkest shadows of me.

My team saw every part of me. Even the parts very few others have ever seen. My team, my teammates, my people; they never walked away.

My team never gave up on me. They pulled me up. Pushed me forward. Even when I preferred sitting down.

My team let me be courageous. I was free to dream. Free to try. Free to fall and do it all over again.

My team kept me accountable. Kept me humble. Kept me driven to something bigger than myself.

I miss my team.

WhatsApp Image 2019-12-26 at 7.35.31 PM

For all those years, I did all I could for the betterment of the team. For a united goal. For a prize awarded to “us.” Through it all; the elation and desperation, the fatigue and failure, the praise and adoration, my team was working for me. Helping me. Loving me. Shaping me.

But I am forever thankful they let me be me. Forever thankful they are MY team. Always. Thank you for not only your good work but also for all the support you have given each other throughout the project, that’s what makes the team stronger! Thank you for all your effort!

But from the bottom of my heart I want my guys to know that are wonderful .Love you guys and my prayers are with y’all!! 🐶🐱🐾❤

I miss my team. I miss my teammates. I miss my people. I miss those moments.

Every second, every minute, and every hour spent with my team was the time of my life.

 

 

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Root Cause Analysis


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by Karthik.

RCA (Root cause analysis) is a mechanism of analyzing the Incidents/defects, to identify its cause. We brainstorm, read and dig the Incidents/defect to identify whether the defect was due to “testing miss”, “development miss” or was a “requirement or designs miss”. RCA is simply about determining, very specifically, the when, the where, and the why of a problem at its source, before it can ripple out to affect the end-user of an application or website a second time.

Doing the RCA accurately helps to prevent defects in the later releases or phases. If we find, that a defect was due to design miss, we can review the design documents and can take appropriate measures. Similarly, if we find that a defect was due to testing miss, we can review our test cases or metrics, and update it accordingly.

Root Cause Analysis is like a chain of events which go backward, right from the last possible action to the previous and so on, till you reach the start of the problem and the exact point at which it was introduced as a defect. This is called as reverse engineering. There are a few two major questions that we need to ask – WHAT, WHY, WHEN, HOW. With the assistance of these questions, we can dig into each phase of the software life cycle to exactly track the origin of the defect and the point at which it was injected into the system.

Root-Cause-Analysis-Process

Goals: The primary goal of using RCA is to analyze problems or events to identify:

  • What happened
  • How it happened
  • Why it happened…so that
  • Actions for preventing reoccurrence are developed

Benefits: Implementing RCA will help the agency:

  • Identify barriers and the causes of problems, so that permanent solutions can be found.
  • Develop a logical approach to problem-solving, using data that already exists in the agency.
  • Identify current and future needs for organizational improvement.
  • Establish repeatable, step-by-step processes, in which one process can confirm the results of another.

Principles

  • Focusing on corrective measures of root causes is more effective than simply treating the symptoms of a problem or event.
  • RCA is performed most effectively when accomplished through a systematic process with conclusions backed up by evidence.
  • There is usually more than one root cause for a problem or event.
  • The focus of investigation and analysis through problem identification is WHY the event occurred, and not who made the error.

Roots: Root cause analysis is not a one-size-fits-all methodology. There are many different tools, processes, and philosophies of accomplishing RCA. In fact, it was born out of a need to analyze various enterprise activities such as:

  • Accident analysis and occupational safety and health
  • Quality control
  • Efficient business process
  • Engineering and maintenance failure analysis
  • Various systems-based processes, including change management and risk management

Applying RCA: Examples of events where RCA is used to solve problems and provide preventive actions include:

  • Major accidents
  • Everyday incidents
  • Minor near-misses
  • Human errors
  • Maintenance problems
  • Medical mistakes
  • Productivity issues
  • Manufacturing mistakes
  • Environmental releases
  • Risk analysis, risk mapping

Basic method to use

  • Define the problem.
  • Gather information, data and evidence.
  • Identify all issues and events that contributed to the problem.
  • Determine root causes.
  • Identify recommendations for eliminating or mitigating the reoccurrence of problems or events.
  • Implement the identified solutions.

RCA methods

The nature of RCA is to identify all and multiple contributing factors to a problem or event. This is most effectively accomplished through an analysis method. Some methods used in RCA include:

  • The “5-Whys” Analysis” — A simple problem-solving technique that helps users get to the root of the problem quickly. It was made popular in the 1970’s by the Toyota Production System. This strategy involves looking at a problem and asking “why” and “what caused this problem”. Often the answer to the first “why” prompts a second “why” and so on—providing the basis for the “5-why” analysis.
  • Barrier Analysis — Investigation or design method that involves the tracing of pathways by which a target is adversely affected by a hazard, including the identification of any failed or missing countermeasures that could or should have prevented the undesired effect(s).
  • Change Analysis — Looks systematically for possible risk impacts and appropriate risk management strategies in situations where change is occurring. This includes situations in which system configurations are changed, operating practices or policies are revised, new or different activities will be performed, etc.
  • Causal Factor Tree Analysis — An investigation and analysis technique used to record and display, in a logical, tree-structured hierarchy, all the actions and conditions that were necessary and sufficient for a given consequence to have occurred.
  • Failure Mode and Effects Analysis — A “system engineering” process that examines failures in products or processes.
  • Fish-Bone Diagram or Ishikawa Diagram — Derived from the quality management process, it’s an analysis tool that provides a systematic way of looking at effects and the causes that create or contribute to those effects. Because of the function of the fishbone diagram, it may be referred to as a cause-and-effect diagram. The design of the diagram looks much like the skeleton of a fish—hence the designation “fishbone” diagram.
  • Pareto Analysis — A statistical technique in decision making that is used for analysis of selected and a limited number of tasks that produce significant overall effect. The premise is that 80% of problems are produced by a few critical causes (20%).
  • Fault Tree Analysis — The event is placed at the root (top event) of a “tree of logic”. Each situation causing effect is added to the tree as a series of logic expressions.

Based on the results of RCA, you can determine which of the phase has problem areas. For example, if you determine most of the RCA of the defects are due to requirement miss, then you can improve the requirement gathering / understanding phase by introducing more reviews or walk-through sessions.

Similarly, if you find that mostly defects are due to testing miss, you need to improve the testing process. You can introduce metrics like requirement tractability metrics, test coverage metrics or can keep a check on the review process or any other step which you feel would improve the efficiency of the testing. It is the responsibility of the entire team to sit and analyze the defects, and contribute to the product and process improvement.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on November 29, 2018 in Technical

 

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ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్* !


ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్* !
టెన్షన్లు.. ఒత్తిళ్లు… డబ్బు సంపాదన…అతిగా ఆలోచనలు లేకుండా…80573564_2523240627774267_4107180927703056384_n.jpg
ఉన్నంతలో కుటుంబమంతా కలసి… ఆనందంగా గడిపిన .
�ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!  

ఆదివారం ఆటలాడుతూ… అన్నాన్ని మరచిన
�ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

మినరల్ వాటర్ గోల లేకుండా…కుళాయి దగ్గర, బోరింగుల దగ్గర, బావుల దగ్గర… నీళ్లు తాగిన…
�ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

వందలకొద్దీ చానెళ్లు లేకున్నా…ఉన్న ఒక్క దూరదర్శన్ లో
శుక్రవారం చిత్రలహరి… ఆదివారం సినిమా కోసం వారమంతా… ఎదురు చూసిన
� ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

సెలవుల్లో అమ్మమ్మ.. నానమ్మల ఊళ్లకు వెళ్లి…ఇంటికి రావాలనే ఆలోచన లేని…
� ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

ఏసీ కార్లు లేకున్నా ఎర్రబస్సుల్లో…కిటికీ పక్క సీట్లో నుండి ప్రకృతిని ఆస్వాదించిన
� ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్…!

80728093_2523240387774291_7481085503459033088_n.jpg

మొబైల్ డేటా గురించి ఆలోచించకుండా..బర్త్ డే డేట్ గురించి మాత్రమే ఆలోచిస్తూ.చాక్లెట్లు పంచిన
� ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

మటన్ బిర్యానీ.. చికిన్ బిర్యానీ లేకున్నా…ఎండాకాలం వచ్చిందంటే మామిడి కాయ పచ్చడితో…
అందరం కలసి కడుపునిండా అన్నం తిన్న…
� ఆరోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

ఇప్పుడు జేబు నిండా కార్డులున్నా… పరుసు నిండా డబ్బులున్నా…కొట్టుకు పంపితే …మిగిలిన చిల్లర కాజేసిన
� ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్..!

సెల్లు నిండా గేములున్నా…బ్యాట్ మార్చుకుంటూ ఒకే బ్యాట్ తో క్రికెట్టాడిన..
� ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్…!

ఇప్పుడు బీరువా నిండా ప్యాంట్లున్నా… రెండు నిక్కర్లతో బడికెళ్లిన…
� ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్..!

ఇప్పుడు బేకరీల్లో కూల్ కేకులు తింటున్నా… .ఐదు పైసల ఆశా చాక్లెట్ తిన్న…
� ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్…!

చిన్న చిన్న మాటలకే దూరం పెంచుకుంటున్న ఈ రోజుల్లో..
పిల్లలం కొట్టుకున్నా పెద్దలంతా కలసివుండే
# రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్..!

ఇప్పుడు ఇంటినిండా తినుబండారాలున్నా…నాన్న కొనుక్కొచ్చే …చిరుతిళ్ళ కోసం ఎదురు చూసిన..
#ఆ రోజులే బాగున్నాయ్..!

ఇప్పుడు రకరకాల ఐస్ క్రీమ్ లు చల్లగా నోట్లో నానుతున్నా…అమ్మ చీరకొంగు పైసలతో పుల్ల ఐసు కొనితిన్న…
#ఆ రోజులు ఎంతో బాగున్నాయ్..!

80543968_2523240391107624_3203269678319271936_n.jpg

పొద్దుపోయేదాకా చేలో పని చేసుకొచ్చి…ఎలాంటి చీకూచింత లేకుండా.. ఎండాకాలంలో ఆకాశంలోని చందమామను చూస్తూ నిదురించిన..
#ఆ రోజులు బాగున్నాయ్..!

*ఉమ్మడి కుటుంబాల ఊసే లేకుండా పోయింది*
అమ్మ, నాన్న,…. అక్క బావ…చెల్లి మర్ది….అన్న వదిన…. తమ్ముడు మర్దలు…. మేనత్త మేనమామ.
పిన్ని బాబాయ్….. పెద్దమ్మ పెదనాన్న…. తాతయ్య అమ్మమ్మ…. తాతయ్య నానమ్మ…..
ఒదిన, మరదలు….బావ బామ్మర్ధి…..ఇంకా…. ముత్తాత తాతమ్మ….
ఇలా వరుసలు ఉన్నాయని…. ఉంటాయన్న సంగతే మరిచారు నేటి తరం….

మమ్మి డాడి….. ఆంటీ అంకుల్
ఇవి రెండు తెలిస్తే చాలు….ప్రపంచమంతా మన బందువులే అనే భావన ఏర్పడింది.

రక్త సంభందం అంటే ఏంటో తెలియని దుస్తితి….

కారణం…..
పుట్టగానే పిల్లలను క్రెచ్చ్ ల్లో వేయడం….లేదా ఆయాలకు అప్పగించడం…

అందాలకు బందీలై తల్లి పాలు కూడా ఇవ్వకపోవడం….
ముడ్డి కడగడం మానుకొని డైపర్స్ వాడడం….ఇంకెక్కడి ప్రేమలు… లాలనలు….
ఇక్కడినుండే మొదలు….ఇక కాన్వెంట్లు….. రెసిడెన్సు స్కూళ్లు….

వాడికి ఎవడు చుట్టమో… ఎవడు పక్కమో తెలియని పరిస్థితి ….
ఎద్దులా పెరిగి మొద్దులా తయారవడం తప్ప మరేమీలేదు….

ఇంజనీరింగ్ చేయడం…. ఎమ్మెస్ కని విదేశాలకు వెళ్ళడం…..

వాట్సాప్ లో చాటింగ్….ఐ ఎం ఓ లో విజిటింగ్….
స్కైప్ లో వీడియో కాలింగ్….అమేజాన్ ద్వారా షాపింగ్….
నెలకింత అమ్మ నాన్నలకు డబ్బు పంపిస్తే…. వీరికదే ఆనందం….

పెళ్లి ముందురావడం…. అయిపోగానే పెళ్ళాన్ని తీసుకొని పోవడం…..

ఇంకెక్కడి ప్రేమలు… ఆప్యాయతలు….అయ్యా, అమ్మ సస్తే తప్ప….

కనీసం దాయాదులు పోయినా….దగ్గరోడు సచ్చినా….

దయలేని దుస్థితి ….చూడలేని పరిస్థితి ..ఇంకెక్కడి బందాలు..ఇంకెక్కడి బందుత్వాలు….అందుకే….
కుటుంబ వ్యవస్థ రోజు రోజుకు నశించిపోతుంది….

అందుకే రోజు రోజుకు ఓల్డ్ ఏజ్ హోం ల సంఖ్యలు పెరుగుతూ పోతున్నాయి…..

బాల్యం నుండే మార్పు రావాలి…
బందాలు పెరగాలి….
అమ్మమ్మ, నానమ్మ ల కథలు వినాలి….
తాతయ్య నేర్పే మర్యాదలు నేర్పాలి….
కుటుంబం లో ఉండే ఆనందం తెలపాలి….
అది మనింటినుండే ప్రారంభం కావాలి….

కలసి బోజనం చేసి…. కలసి ముచ్చటించడం నేర్పాలి….ఉమ్మడి కుటుంబ వ్యవస్థను కాపాడి….

మళ్ళీ ప్రపంచానికి మన దేశం వసుదైక కుటుంబం అని చాటి చెబుదాం….🌹

 

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This Is When You’re Gonna Miss Her Most


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Heart filled with Love..

I never knew, i love her so much, till I met and lost lost her in the journey of my life.

She’s not the type of person you miss when she leaves. In fact, you might not even notice she’s gone initially… because well you thought she’d always be there. She’ll casually go without a goodbye or some grand exit because it was hard for her to give up on you. It was hard for her to walk away and not look back. It was hard for her to accept no matter how hard she tried, you never were going to reciprocate was she both wanted and deserved.

She was around and gave you so much attention so often you took her for granted. You’re still going to think she’s someone you can pick and choose when you want to. What you don’t realize is she made the choice to walk away already. And it broke her heart to do so. But she had to because you left her with no other choice. If you weren’t going to appreciate her presence she’d make you realize what you lost in her absence.

Missing her… It’s going to happen when you least expect it. You’ll see her somewhere and she might not even notice you at first. She’ll be so consumed by the attention of someone else. You’ll look at this person who is making her smile so big and that’s when it’s going to hit how pretty she is when she’s happy. But you never saw that side of her because all you did was disappoint her and let her down and bring out the worst of her.

You never saw how torn up she was about every little thing. But she lost sleep over you. You spent too much time talking about you. Too much time emotionally invested. And when you’re emotionally invested in someone you don’t see how bad they are for you sometimes. 270f02c9985b5d6bcd64c03b3ecfa9c9

Maybe someone will mention her in conversation and ask you how she’s doing because there was a time you knew. There was a time you were very much a part of her life and so involved you could answer on her behalf because you knew about every good day and bad one.

You’ll freeze for a moment and you’ll answer good but the truth is you’re finding out about her life the way everyone else is. Through social media. Instagram posts. FB updates. Snap stories. And you aren’t hearing from her firsthand like you used to.

It’s going to hurt a bit once you realize that.

You’ll go to text her and you’ll realize you don’t even know how to say hello.

You’ll realize there are so many things you want to tell her. And you think back to a time when every conversation she made about you. Even when you ignored her she’d send a double text continuing to try and keep the conversation going. You’ll stare at her name in your phone, looking back at the date of the last time you spoke and you’ll realize how long it’s been. But what’s going to hurt more is that it took you this long to realize she was already gone.

What’s going to hurt is the moment you realize you did nothing to make her want to stay.

You’ll miss the little details of her life even the things she used to complain about.

You’ll miss even the things that used to annoy you about her. How long her texts were, how she’d answer in less than 5 seconds making it so easy. How predictable she was and how you thought she’d always be there. Because no matter what you did or how you treated her it never altered the way she treated you.

You’ll miss having someone who genuinely cared about you. Someone who took time out of their day to ask how you were and wait for an answer. Someone who went out of their way and always made sure they were there. Someone who took the time to learn and understand you. Someone who wanted to know about your past to understand why you were the way you were. Someone who would have gone to the ends of the earth to make you happy and never stopped praising you or building you up even if you were knocking her down.

You’ll miss her late at night when you’re laying there alone and you realize there’s no one to talk to. And it’s not just her you miss it’s the conversations you used to have, how she’d get you to a place no one else could. How she’d get you thinking about things caring about things, believing in things even if it was you yourself. After talking to her she thought you could do anything because that’s how much she believed in you.

You’ll find yourself driving and a song will start playing and you’ll freeze for a moment thinking of her. It’s one of the songs she made you listen to and it’s only now you realize why. It was just another clever way of her saying she cared without spelling it out. You’ll drive past a place and it’s her ghost you’ll see there as flashbacks run through your mind of when you were there together and things were so different.

You’ll think back to a time when you knew she cared even when you didn’t. Moments where she poured her heart out to you and all you did was listen.

And you’ll hate yourself for realizing it too late that you really do care. Maybe you always have. And you probably always will care a little bit. That’s the thing about girls like her, they come into your life just long enough to leave a lasting impression before they take off again. Forever leaving a little bit of an imprint on your heart. She’ll leave and you won’t even be able to be angry at her for it. You’re more so angry at yourself for not realizing what you had when you had it.

You’ll again and she’ll smile and hug you and ask how you are because she doesn’t hold it against you for not caring. But what she doesn’t realize is how you do care. But you let her go on her way not saying anything because even you know, she deserves better and it wasn’t supposed to end this way.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

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You lost her a little more every time


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by a Heart filled with Love..

It’s the texts you answer at your convenience. It’s the snaps you look at then put down your phone.

It’s every like when you’re bored because you’re wondering what she’s up to. It’s every canceled plan when something better comes along.

It’s the attention you give that’s the bare minimum. But she takes it. Because at least for that moment, she has your time and attention when she’s always given you all of hers.

It’s every surprise you take for granted. Even though, she thought a lot about it for a while. It’s not caring enough to even consider reciprocating those things.

It’s the favor if you need one, that always goes answered every time. Even though she’d never ask the same. x51k5655.jpg

It’s the nights she wishes would turn into the morning but you have some sort of other agenda, as you say goodbye.

You label her as easy to read. Because the truth is you know if you want her you can have her. And where is the fun in that?

Where is the fun in someone only caring about you?  Where is the fun in honesty? Where is the fun in love when everyone is chasing after questionable likes?

But the truth is you’re losing her and not even realizing it.

You lose her a little more every time you don’t answer.

You lose her a little more every time you cancel plans.

You lose her a little more every time you choose someone else when the only person she’s ever chosen is you.

You lose her a little more every time you don’t appreciate her.

You lose her a little more every time you take her for granted.

You lose her a little more every time she goes to bed wondering, ‘why aren’t I enough for him?’

But what she doesn’t realize, as these feelings she has for you, blinds her of the truth. She’s more than enough for you. It’s you that isn’t good enough for her.

Because if you were worthy of her, you’d realize her value.

But one day you’ll lose her for good. Because she’s going to get to a point where there’s nothing more she has to offer and she’ll walk away. And it’ll hurt her to do so. Because she looked at you with wide eyes full of faith that depleted over time.

One day she’ll be the one not answering. One day those snaps you send will be ignored and you’ll send another just in case.

It’ll irk the shit out of you, the moment she starts treating you the way you treated her.

You’ll ask her out and she’ll politely decline. You’ll blow up her newsfeed and begin to become more interested in what she is up to but more than that who she’s with.

Because it’s not you that’s making her smile anymore.

You’ll miss the nights when she laid beside you and all she ever wanted to do was talk. The silence will kill you, as you wish for just one more conversation.

You’ll hold onto everything she ever got you and it’ll be a hurtful reminder of the girl who loved you just a little too much.

And maybe you’ll look back and remember there wasn’t mystery to her. But there was an honesty you’ve never known in someone.

She didn’t play games like the others. She’s the type of girl that ruins people in the best way and you’ve become just another victim.

And as you fumble through girl after girl, you’ll find something in them all missing. It’ll be in them you look for her but she will never be found.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

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That’s why she’s a slut


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by  Laura Jane Williams..

She’s missing something, and needs you to fill the hole. Literally. Come inside her and stem the flow, patch up the wound with your own body because she cannot do it alone. When he left he took something from her, but she doesn’t know – can’t figure out – what, exactly, it is. So she’ll try anything. She’ll do anything to see what works. She just needs to not feel quite so much.

She’s a slut because it helps. It’s less about the act of fucking you, and more about what it does to her ego to get there. That she can control you. She had no control over him – the way he cried when he said goodbye but said goodbye all the same. She had no control when she got the call about his new girlfriend, second-hand information that made her wonder how long, exactly, it had really been going on. o-SLUT-570

She needed him to be a faithful man so that she could believe faithful men exist, and now they don’t anyone is up for grabs. It is balm for the ego, locking eyes across the bar. Salve for the dented spirit when she approaches. Men love the thrill of the chase, and she loves knowing that she can screw any man she wants if only she’s brave enough to ask. She just needs to make it their idea. She’s in the driving seat of saying just the right amount of provocative. Master of making his pupils dilate in thrilled shock. Will say the unsayable as code for what else she’ll do, too.

She’s not a bad person. She’s not a Madonna, nor is she a total whore. She has friends, and a job, and is liked and respected and popular enough. She commands attention because she’s so in control, so measured, so aware of the cracks she’ll let other people see. Most will be fooled by it. Most will marvel at her confidence and her “go for it” attitude. Concede that she must really have her shit together. But then there will be one or two who linger behind, say less, hold something back because they see it. They see that she’s playing make believe and doesn’t even recognize it herself. They don’t trust it, and they shouldn’t.

She’ll fuck you, and you, and you – one after the other, filling up and filling up but never being filled for long enough. She’ll begin to pride herself on not being like the other girls. Of keeping you at a distance. Ignoring you once you’ve peeled off the condom and flung it in the trash. Because she will always make you wear a condom. She can’t love herself so she sure as hell couldn’t love your child.

She’s a slut because none of you are the answer. As she holds your gaze longer than strictly necessary, rests her hand on your knee a little too high to be friendly, there will be a question in her eyes and in her heart and the moment you lean in to kiss her –tough, and fast, always too fast to mean anything – the tiny speckle of hope that she almost had will be quashed. She’ll just get on with it.

She’ll be wet for you. Turned on as all hell. You might even make her come. But it won’t be from being inside her. It won’t be where she can see you. You’ll slip your hand into her knickers from behind or go down on her in the dark. From there, you could be anybody. Nobody. Him.

She’ll treat you like utter shit and it will make you want more, because the ones who don’t care can be the most attractive when we’re playing the “who is more broken?” game. But you won’t value her. She gave it away too easily, you used each other in a way that can’t be undone. She’ll note your attitude, the way you keep your texts explicit and void of emotion, following her lead, as evidence that all men are the same.

Sexual predators. Easily led. Emotionally stunted.

She won’t feel bad about moving on to the next, because it didn’t mean anything anyway.

That’s why she’s a slut.

Because nobody can disprove her theory. Nobody is saving her from herself. She doesn’t know, yet, that she needs to save herself.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on August 14, 2018 in Technical

 

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If your Partner look like this, then you are in Worst Relationship


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

aBY3yjA_460sWhen it comes to love, most of us tend to settle, we do this without even realizing it, and I am sick of it. So many amazing people end up stuck in toxic relationships wasting away because they are afraid to move forward, and afraid of being alone.

Below I am going to go over some of the things you should never allow within a relationship. These are things far too many of us settle for and allow to happen or go on within our relationships. We all deserve someone who knows our worth and treats us right, someone who is willing to motivate us when we are down and help us through all the hard times. Your bar is not set too high, don’t be willing to bump it down for just anyone.

Someone who doesn’t care about your feelings.

If he or she doesn’t care about how you feel or how he or she is making you feel you need to cut ties. You need someone that really wants to make you happy and is willing to take your emotions into consideration. In a real functioning relationship, everyone’s feelings will be taken into consideration.

Someone who brings out the worst in you.

If the person you are with brings out the worst in you then you should not be with him or her. You should find someone that brings out the best in you. Sure, you might care about this person, but he or she is not causing you anything more than pain and stress, let him or her go and move on. Sometimes toxic relationships are not so much abusive as they are just people not being able to click properly.

Someone who takes advantage of you.

Never let anyone take advantage of you, especially not someone you are in love with. Make sure that your partner is bringing the same amount to the table as you are. Don’t give someone your all only for them to give you nothing. People will use you and take you for all you have in this world. Most people are not what they seem.

Someone who is very double-standard oriented.

Do not be with someone who thinks you have to abide by some kind of relationship rules and he or she doesn’t. If you are expected to answer all of his or her calls, but then he or she cannot be bothered to do the same to you why stick around? You deserve someone that is on the same level as you are.

Someone who isn’t willing to put forth the effort.

You should never settle for someone who will not make an effort in the relationship. You should not be coming all the way for someone who won’t even roll over in your direction. You should both be putting forth equal amounts of effort to make things work, no more-no less.

Someone who refuses to take responsibility for his or herself.

You should never settle for someone who won’t take responsibility for his or herself. You and your partner are not the same person. Sure, you might have each other’s backs but at the end of the day you have to own your shit and he or she has to own his or her shit. That is just how it goes, otherwise, problems within the relationship will occur and you will find yourself constantly having to make excuses for him or her. This is something none of us want to deal with.

Someone who makes you doubt yourself.

If someone you are close to is making you doubt yourself then the relationship is already off to a rocky start. Your partner should be building you up and making you feel better about yourself. This is a breeding ground for toxic energies and you should get out while you can.

Someone who tries to control what you wear or do.

If your partner is trying to control the things you wear and the things you do you are settling for someone who is going to try and control you in other ways as time progresses. Controlling partners are not going to let you be yourself. They are going to try and mold you into the person they want you to be and that will never work.

Someone who blames you for their problems or mistakes.

If your partner is constantly blaming you for his or her problems or mistakes why should you stick around? You should not be taking the flack for things you have no control over and did not do in the first place. He or she should be owning his or her stuff; it is not your place too and you should never be put in that kind of situation.

Someone who crosses your boundaries on purpose.

If someone is crossing your boundaries because he or she doesn’t care that they are there in the first place you should not be with them. Your boundaries are there for a reason and you should not be forced to feel like him or her making you uncomfortable is alright, it is not alright. Someone who loves and cares about you will take the time to pay attention to you and respect you and your boundaries.

Someone who refuses to actually work or take care of his or herself.

If the person you are with refuses to better his or herself they oftentimes cannot be helped. Don’t let this person bring you down. You should not be carrying their weight and your weight, everyone should be contributing to things in one way or another. You are no maid.

Someone who torments you be it physical, verbal, or any possible form.

No one should ever put up with any kind of abuse. You can and will find someone who will treat you like you put the stars in the sky. DO NOT EVER let someone put their hands on you or make you feel like you are worthless. You are amazing and you deserve all the best things in this world.

Someone who acts like you owe them something.

Let me get this clear! You do not owe anything to anybody but yourself. If you do not want to do something, you do not have to!

Posted by:  Gerald Sinclair

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 

 

 

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Why, When & How Women cheat their Partners


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Why do women cheat? The answer is as complicated as one might imagine. A lot of the time the reasons are physical, sometimes they’re emotional, and, sometimes, as much as we don’t want to admit this or know this, sometimes it’s just a matter of somebody having an opportunity,”

bacadc577a68fbaa761514ae0ba8c76c (1)There is a common misperception that it’s only men who step out on their partners and that women are always faithful. To that, I say: Who are all these men cheating with exactly? Do heterosexual men only cheat with single women and each other?

Unlike previous generations, currently women and men cheat at approximately the same rates, though the reasons why women cheat may be different from men. The main reasons for cheating in women are: lack of love for primary partner, desire for sexual variety, and situational factors (like being drunk or on vacation) and many more.

The simple truth is that approximately as many married, heterosexual women cheat as married, heterosexual men. Research suggests that 10 to 20 percent of men and women in marriages or other committed (monogamous) relationships will actively engage in sexual activity outside of their primary relationship.

Typically, females step out on a committed partner for one or more of the following reasons:

  • They feel underappreciated, neglected, or ignored. When you ignore your woman’s needs especially the emotional and intimate wants, her moods towards you will change drastically more than they do when her estrogens and progesterone levels fluctuate on every ovulation. They feel more like a housekeeper, nanny, or financial provider than a wife or girlfriend. So they seek an external situation that validates them for who they are, rather than the services they perform.
  • Revenge: If her partner has had an affair or has damaged the partner in some way, the offended partner may feel a need for revenge resulting in an affair. Few Woman, wanna take a revenge by sleeping with other Men.
  • Idealistic expectations from a relationship. Some women fantasise beyond the thresholds of realism which leaves them extremely disappointed in the relationship with their partner. Women with this utopic mindset expects eternal pampering from their spouse like having them around round the clock all 365 days. Though such expectations are not realistic, they look out for other men who may turn them true.
  • Her man is bad in bed. One of the key reasons why women cheat is the partner’s lack lustre performance. It is hard enough being in a relationship where sex is insufficient; if this is coupled with poor quality performance then it is only a matter of time before the disgruntled partner seeks gratification elsewhere.
  • They are lonely. Women can experience loneliness in a relationship for any number of reasons. Maybe their spouse works long hours or travels for business on a regular basis, or maybe their spouse is emotionally unavailable. Whatever the cause, they feel lonely, and they seek connection through infidelity to fill the void.
  • They expect too much from a primary relationship. Some women have unreasonable expectations about what their primary partner and relationship should provide. They expect their significant other to meet their every need 24/7, 365 days a year, and when that doesn’t happen, they seek attention elsewhere.
  • Material Favors. People get attracted to flashy things from time to time; it gets even worse if these are things they can’t afford. A woman may be attempted to cheat while hoping that the besotted extra wheel will be kind enough to throw in the desired gifts as a way of showing gratitude.
  • Lack of enough satisfying intimacy, passion and sex. There is a societal misconception that only men enjoy sex. But plenty of women also enjoy sex, and if f1778c84509ba4146d4ec406358bd957they’re not getting it at home, or it’s not enjoyable to them, for whatever reason, they may well seek it elsewhere.A relationship that lacks sexual intimacy is as good as dead to a woman. This is mostly true in a relationship that previously enjoyed a vibrant sex life only for situations to end up reducing and completely killing intimacy.
  • Need for Attention and being wanted. As witnessed in the points above, the reasons why women cheat on their partners is propagated by intertwined emotional factors. Remember that many men in their optimum to impress will always lure a woman with sweet words and total attention. If you fail to attend to your woman’s needs and offer a listening ear, she will cheat on you because she will fell more appreciated and wanted elsewhere.
  • The Thrill, Adventure.Cheating may also happen when people let their lives fall into a continuous boring routine. In a bid to seek the missing adventure, cheating becomes an attractive preoccupation. Many women had admitted to being turned on by the risk of getting caught and the adventurous nature of extra-marital sex.
  • Want to test the water first. Another reason why women cheat is uncertainty of the relationship at hand. In this case, a woman may pretend to be committed in a relationship only to be in another or even other relationships, all in the quest of finding “Mr. Right”.
  • They crave intimacy. Women tend to feel valued and connected to a significant other more through non-sexual, emotional interplay (talking, having fun together, being thoughtful, building a home and social life together, etc.) than sexual activity. When they’re not feeling that type of connection from their primary partner, they may seek it elsewhere.
  • They are overwhelmed by the needs of others. Recent research about women who cheat indicates that many women, despite stating that they deeply love their spouse, their home, their work, and their lives, cheat anyway. These women often describe feeling so under-supported and overwhelmed by having to be all things to all people at all times that they seek extramarital sex as a form of life-fulfillment.
  • They are responding to or re-enacting early-life trauma and abuse. Sometimes women who experienced profound early-life (or adult) trauma, especially sexual trauma, will re-enact that trauma as a way of trying to master or control it.
  • She wants to experience something new. Many women are pushed to cheat because they want to try things they deem they should have tried long ago. A lot of this is borne of the conversations they have with friends. If they feel their experiences are mute compared to what their friends relate then they might be tempted to even the scores.

As with male cheaters, women who cheat typically do not realize (in the moment) how profoundly infidelity affects their partner and their relationship. Cheating hurts betrayed men just as much as it hurts betrayed women. The keeping of secrets, especially sexual and romantic secrets, damages relationship trust and is incredibly painful regardless of gender.But cheating doesn’t have to be seen as the end of a relationship; instead, it can be viewed as a test of its maturity and ability to weather the storm.

There are several reasons, why women are cheating their partner and I’m pretty sure that more than 50% are guilty of it. But how should you know if your girlfriend is loyal? Below are the most common signs that can help you tell whether your woman is cheating on you.

23598b264c041b0b4ebf5447dabb0617--quotes-about-married-womanShe Stops Caring. Women are wired to care about the smallest details about their men and relationships. She cares how many times you call and whether you make time for her. She gets angry with you when you forget those important dates in your relationship and will make a big fuss about it. So when your lady stops caring that you didn’t call and when she doesn’t throw a fit that you forgot all your special dates, then you have cause to worry.

If she start paying more attention to appearance. This sign doesn’t always mean that she is cheating you – especially if they’ve already discussed with you wanting to change their appearance. However, if your partner goes from not caring much about how they look, to suddenly preening like a peacock, they may be trying to impress someone else.

They’re (too often) home late from work. . One of the strongest signs of cheating is when your woman starts falling in love with her work more. If your partner is usually home by a certain time every day, but suddenly they’re staying late at work, it could be an excuse for them to see someone else behind your back. It’s a common enough excuse that many people don’t think too much about. She could be spending time with a male co-worker instead of you. 

Secretive phone or computer use. Cheaters tend to use their phones and computers more frequently than before and to guard them as if their lives depend on it. If your partner’s phone and laptop never required a password before, and now they do, that’s not a good sign. If your partner suddenly starts deleting texts and clearing their browser history on a daily basis, that’s not a good sign.

If she picked up new habits. These habits can be anything from suddenly being over-protective of their phone, to not picking up their phone when you call. The new habits that your partner exhibits will often be hard to explain away, and your partner may feel defensive if you try to bring them up. This can be a sign that they’re seeing someone else and they don’t want you to know about it.

Sexier Inner-wear & change in Perfumes.When a woman is involved with someone new, she often will go out and purchase sexier bras and panties – because she feels sexier. There is a pleasure women get in being appreciated as a sexual being and will behave a little more sexier… maybe she’s leaving an extra button undone on her blouse or wearing her hair down instead of neatly tied up. Maybe she has changed her perfume. She may also change the way she wears make-up for similar reasons.

Stops sharing the details. When your love was young, sweet, and full of promise, your girl just couldn’t wait to share everything with you. When she was having an issue at work or with friends, she always opened up. But now she always says that she is fine or tells you not to bother. These are very bad indicators that show your relationship is almost over and you have every right to be paranoid. If she starts being all cagey, then she is planning on being a cheat – if she isn’t one already.

She starts telling lies. It might be hard to trust her anyway if you have already caught her telling you lies about who she is with, or where she has been.

Acting defensively . If your woman is cheating on you she is afraid of getting caught; she will get defensive and anything you ask or say to her will be taken as an accusation. You can know she is cheating if she is defensive about how she spends her time, who she spends it with and when she refuses to answer simple questions.

Significantly less, or more, or different sex in your relationship. Both decreased and increased levels of sexual activity in your relationship can be a sign of infidelity. Less sex occurs because your partner is focused on someone else; more sex occurs because they are trying to cover that up. Yet another possible sign is that your partner is introducing new techniques and activities into your sex life. As much as you might enjoy that, it’s possible that they are learning new tricks outside of your relationship. bdd720db4a881db986548a558bd27f98

Unexplained expenses. If there are odd charges on your partner’s credit cards, or there is suddenly less money in your or your partner’s bank accounts, retirement accounts, investment accounts, etc., that’s a possible sign of infidelity. If you ask your partner about these expenses, and their answers seem untrue, it’s likely that they are untrue.

She doesn’t invite you out with her friends. One sign that your girlfriend might be cheating on you is if she is suddenly spending more time with friends, but leaving you at home. If she isn’t inviting you out or is insisting that you stay home and watch the game, you might be right to be concerned.

Sudden strange friends. If your woman begins to have mysterious friends that are taking most of her time, there are high chances that she is cheating on you. It does not matter whether it is a friend or a workmate but as long as she is not willing to disclose more information, it is a direct telltale sign that she is cheating.

Spending less time with your family or friends. If a woman begins to detach herself from the family, there are strong signs that she is cheating. There are also other women who will stop any close relationship with your friends for fear of showing off their guilt. The woman may be feeling guilty and being close to your family or friends is painful because symptoms of guilt may manifest.

These signs are a clear indication that your woman is cheating on you, or intends to do so. If there is no cheating, the same signs may be a suggestion that the relationship is not where it should be, but don’t get paranoid unless there is a combination of the above signs that make you feel like something is wrong.

If the many signs above add up, consider asking her directly if she is seeing someone else. I have collected the most popular reasons why woman cheat from various sources, always be aware of them, when it comes to choosing the right woman for a relationship.

Many people who are cheating think it’s easier to find a “quick solution” than do the hard work, or so it seems. Bottom line is an affair may seem like an easy answer, but it will only create more work and hardship. Don’t do similar mistake like many of us committed in our lives.

Appreciate your partner, and show them how much they mean to you, pounder them in love and care. But, most importantly, put your phone down, stop looking up towards co-workers, avoid pornography, stop looking living with social sites and look into the face in front of you. It might be the one.

 

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below. If you enjoyed this, or any other other posts, I’d be honored if you’d share it with your family, friends and followers!

 

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Business Impact Analysis


Each minute of our life is a lesson but most of us fail to read it. I thought I would just add my daily lessons & the lessons that I learned by seeing the people around here. So it may be useful for you and as memories for me.

Article by XLC Team…

A Business Impact Analysis is a process used to determine the effect of an interruption of services on each business unit and the organization as a whole. The analysis can provide information on the short and long term effects of a disaster on such factors as profit, market share and goodwill.

This information in required to develop a business continuity strategy for the entire organization. Please fill out this questionnaire in as much detail as possible. Your input will be valuable in developing an effective Business Continuity program.

A business impact analysis is a key part of the business continuity process that analyzes mission-critical business functions and identifies and quantifies the impact a loss of those functions — e.g., operational, financial — may have on the organization. A business impact analysis (BIA) is critical in assessing the cost of business disruption and how disaster recovery plays a role in mitigating it. The BIA has several crucial elements, which include executive backing; a deep understanding of the organization; and BIA tools, processes and findings.  concept-image-of-business-acronym-bia-business-impact-and-analysis-FGFK4M

Once risks to an organization have been identified — usually through a risk analysis — the next step in a business impact analysis is to determine how the identified risks affect specific business operations. Let’s assume that if all business functions are performing normally, the organization ought to be fully viable, competitive and financially solid. If an incident — internal or external — negatively affects business operations, the organization could be compromised.

Business impact analyses help business continuity/disaster recovery professionals to identify business priorities and validate or modify them for plan development. Questionnaires must be formulated for preinterview data gathering or in-person interviews. People with in-depth knowledge of and experience with the business functions being analyzed are ideal candidates for BIA interviews.

In some cases, it may be possible to develop business impact analysis questionnaires into an automated survey — an example of which is BIA Professional from SunGard Availability Services — in which the results can be captured and summarized. Often, it is useful to include an incident description for interviewees to use when answering the questions. An example of such a situation is when:

  • the business unit’s portion of the building is completely destroyed;
  • all records, data files, technology, supplies and other support systems are lost;
  • some key personnel are not available;
  • primary business processes are affected immediately, and for at least 30 days; and
  • the disaster occurs during a peak processing period for the business unit.

Tips for performing a business impact analysis

Keep in mind the following key tips when performing a business impact analysis:

  1. Get the support of senior management.Given the nature of BIAs, and the time needed for research, be sure to obtain senior management support so that your project goals can be achieved.
  2. Take the business impact analysis process seriously.Although the BIA can take a great deal of time for data gathering and analysis, its value is essential as you develop plans. BIAs do not have to be dozens of pages long; they simply need the right information, and that information should be current and accurate.
  3. There are no formal BIA standards.Despite many business continuity standards being available in the U.S., no formal standards exist for BIAs.
  4. Keep it simple.Gathering the right information is critical; the associated business impact analysis template provides a baseline for information to be gathered. If a one-page business impact analysis summary provides the relevant information, versus one with dozens of pages, it is perfectly acceptable.
  5. Review results with business units.Once the plan is complete, review the findings with business unit leaders to make sure your assumptions are correct.
  6. Be flexible.The suggested template in this article may be too complex for some organizations; feel free to modify it as you see fit to accomplish your goals.
  1. Business unit name: Enter the business unit’s name.
  2. Head count: Enter the number of full-time staff in the business unit and, optionally, part-time staff and contractors, if applicable.
  3. Parent process: Describe the principal activities the unit performs, e.g., sales, contractor interface or investor relationship management.
  4. Priority ranking: Enter a number here for subjective ranking of process importance.
  5. Recovery time objective: Enter a time frame — e.g., one hour, one week — in this section; it describes the time a parent process has to return to business almost as usual following a disruption.
  6. Recovery point objective: Enter a time frame — e.g., one hour, one day — in this section; this is a point in time to which parent process work should be restored following a disruption.
  7. Parent process depends on: Enter names of organizations and processes the parent process depends on for normal operations.
  8. Parent process required by: Enter names of organizations and processes that depend on the parent process for normal operations.
  9. (Optional) Subprocess: Enter a description of supporting activities the unit performs, e.g., sales analysis, financial analysis.
  10. (Optional) Priority ranking: Enter a number here for subjective ranking of subprocesses and their importance to the business unit.
  11. (Optional) Recovery time objective: Enter a time frame; it describes the time a subprocess has to return to business almost as usual following a disruption.
  12. (Optional) Recovery point objective: Enter a time frame; this is a point in time to which subprocess work should be restored following a disruption.
  13. (Optional) Subprocess depends on: Enter names of organizations and processes the subprocess depends on for normal operations.
  14. (Optional) Subprocess required by: Enter names of organizations and processes that depend on the subprocess for normal operations.
  15. Quantitative impact: Enter a financial amount associated with the parent process, e.g., annual revenue generated by the process.
  16. Qualitative impact: Enter a nonfinancial impact to the company, e.g., loss of reputation, loss of customers associated with parent process.
  17. Time needed to recover staff: Enter the number of staff that need to be back to business almost as usual within specific time frames.
  18. Recovery strategy: Enter specific actions the business unit can take to recover to a business almost as usual state, e.g., work from home, relocate to an alternate area, recover to a hot site.
  19. Technology and services recovery time: Enter the system and services in each time frame that must be recovered within the specific time frame.
  20. Comments: Self-explanatory.

An excellent way to learn about a business is to conduct a business impact analysis. In addition to identifying recovery priorities and time frames, conducting a BIA can also identify opportunities for process improvement.

Please feel free to share your story and any lessons you learned, you experienced, you came across in your life in the comments below.

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2018 in Technical

 

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